Belong To Nowhere
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: [WARNING: Slash][RLSB][MWPP era] What if Remus was in Ravenclaw and not in Gryffindor? What if he discovered the three friends in seventh year, and while he becomes enemies with James he falls in love with Sirius? Violence, cussing, and sexual material.
1. It's Positively Delicious

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

"_Everywhere else is full." _

"_Well, you might as well sit here. Unless you want to sit in the hallway." He shrugged._

_Remus nodded and awkwardly slid close the door. He sat in the corner._

"_So… who are you?"_

"_I'm Remus Lupin." He answered promptly. Everybody glanced over to him._

"_I'm Peter!" The blonde boy squeaked eagerly. He had a short pudding bowl haircut._

"_I'm Potter." One of them said. Remus raised his eyebrows._

"_Potter?"_

"_James Potter." He said again._

_Remus looked expectantly at the last boy._

"_I'm Sirius Black." He replied as well, and slumped back into his seat._

"_It's nice to meet all of you." Remus said quietly._

"_Frog?" The boy named James asked Remus, who shook his head._

"_I'm not much of a sweet-tooth."_

"_What?" Sirius asked disbelievingly. "How can you not like chocolate?"_

_Remus shrugged. "I've just never really had it before."_

_Sirius ripped the frog out of James' hand and offered it to him. "Then trust me, you'll love it."_

_He took the frog gently and unwrapped it, finding a chocolate frog resting in the middle. He poked it; it seemed so real. But it passed his test and he slid it into his mouth._

"_It's positively delicious."_

Remus slid the chocolate frog into his mouth, licking the sides before letting it melt on his tongue. His eyes closed.

"Mmm."

"Eating chocolate again, Remus?" A boy asked, who was swiftly walking into the dormitory.

"Yeah."

"I don't understand. You love chocolate but hate every other sweet in the world, practically." The boy started folding some of this clothes.

"I know."

"When did you even start eating it?"

"The first day of Hogwarts, in the train? I was sitting in the compartment with some people who offered me chocolate, and I took it." Remus answered, and crumpled up the empty wrapper.

"Who were they?"

"I don't really remember. One of them is Head Boy." He said, squinting to remember.

"James Potter?" The boy asked incredulously. "You were friends with James Potter?"

"No. I didn't know him," Remus said. "I just accepted the chocolate he gave me."

The boy whistled. "I wouldn't have been surprised if there was a Fudge Fly in it. Potter is a real prankster." He said heavily.

"Really?" Remus asked. "He seemed nice on the train."

"He was _eleven_, then. Who was he with again?"

"I dunno," Remus repeated. "They were just as nice as him."

"So many people told me never to get mixed up with Potter. He'd stuff apples down your pants while you're sleeping."

Remus laughed, rolled off of his bed, and threw the candy wrapper into the bin. He ruffled in his trunk for his robes.

"I haven't talked to him since."

"Well, maybe that's for the best." The boy responded, and neatly piled his clothing into the trunk.

Remus pulled out his robes and fastened his Prefect Pin to the front of them.

"It happened a long time ago, anyway. The only reason I was talking to them was because all the other compartments were full."

The other boy laughed. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No. I'll go with you." Remus straightened out his robes and smiled, walking down the steps to the common room carefully.

"What house are they in now?"

"Gryffindor," Remus responded. "I think."

"What if you would have become friends?"

"A Gryffindor and a Ravenclaw?" Remus asked incredulously. He laughed. "We never would have because we're not in the same house."

"I suppose."

They reached the Great Hall where bustling students were still eating breakfast. The two of them joined the rest of the Ravenclaws at the table, greeting them all courteously, before digging into their helpings of eggs and toast.

"I have Ancient Runes after this," Remus said to the rest of the people at his section of the Ravenclaw table. "Did we have homework in that class?"

Many people murmured their response. "No. But we did during Arithmancy. You're in that class, right?"

Remus nodded, pouring himself a generous amount of orange juice.

"I'll have to cut my breakfast short. I came down here a bit late."

"Were you stealing my chocolate, Remus?" One of the boys asked with a grin.

"No. I just stole my own." He smiled, took one last gulp of his toast, and hurried off to his first class with a number of Ravenclaws behind him.

He climbed the stairs to the classroom, trudging along a bit faster than he normally would, when he heard a commotion going on one flight up. He quickened his pace to find out what was going on, since he was, after all, a Prefect.

Remus stepped on the last marble staircase and jogged along the corridor, when he collided with something – or no, _someone_, rather painfully.

His forehead throbbing, he fell backwards, his back hitting the marble wall. His eyes were shut.

"What the hell – oh." A voice said, and Remus slid down the marble wall.

"Ahh." He said quietly, rubbing his temples.

"Er – you okay?" The something he had bumped into said. Remus felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Peachy." Remus responded, and squinted through one eye.

There was a boy, his same year, with a Gryffindor tie hanging loosely off of his neck and sleek black hair falling into his forehead.

"Alright. I think you broke my shoulder bone." The boy said.

"Did I?" Remus said, still rubbing his temples. "I didn't see you."

"Who are you again?" The boy said, and Remus took his hand off of his face momentarily.

"Remus Lupin. Who are you?"

"Sirius Black."

The second their hands touched in a handshake Remus jerked his hand away.

"No way." He said.

"Er – yes way."

"You're Sirius Black?" Remus asked again.

"Yeah. Have you heard of me?" He asked rather huskily, cocking his eyebrow.

"I was in your train compartment the first day of school. You gave me chocolate," Remus said, remembering suddenly. "You and the boy James."

Sirius' brows furrowed. "James and I were in your compartment?"

"The first year of school."

"Was Peter there too?"

"_Yes_, Peter Pettigrew." Remus said, remembering it as Sirius said his name.

Sirius looked at him carefully. "I don't remember."

"Well, I figured," Remus said, sighing. "I'm not in your house or anything."

"I remember a little now. Were you the boy who said he had never had chocolate before in his life?"

"Yes." Remus said, nodding vigorously. He blushed a bit.

"Do you still not like chocolate?" Sirius asked, smiling.

"I love chocolate." He said quietly, and grinned slightly.

There was a bell overhead to exclaim the student's first classes beginning and Sirius and Remus both immediately stepped away from each other.

"Yeah, so…" Sirius said, hitching up his bag. "I guess I'll see you around."

Remus nodded, and began to walk the other way toward the Ancient Runes classroom.

So that was the boy who he had been in the compartment with? Along with the scrawny James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. He remembered slightly now. They had gotten along great despite their different personalities, and then he had gone to Ravenclaw and James and Sirius and Peter had all gone to Gryffindor. Were they all friends?

Sirius was a lot better looking now. He may have been fit and slender back then, but he was muscle now too, with his sleek hair shining into his face, not short choppy black hair that brushed his forehead barely. He was a lot more macho than he had ever looked seven years ago. So that was Sirius Black?

Remus took a seat in class, getting out his parchment and quill to prepare for the lesson.

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His homework neatly folded in his bag, Remus walked along the corridor toward his next class. Mumbling over his notes that were basically engraved into his brain, he walked down a couple staircases when he heard somebody yelling in the corridor next to him.

He was still a Prefect, but he wasn't running to check things out. He started walking toward the noise and the scene that was roaring pretty loudly in the next hallway.

He rounded the corner and saw a boy with untidy black hair yelling at a boy three feet away from him, both of their wands raised. Remus furrowed his brow in disgust.

"Now stop, _stop_, STOP! I am a Prefect–" He started importantly, stomping his foot and trying to yell over the noise.

"Shut _up_!" The boy with the untidy black hair yelled, and Remus shut up. He was looking lividly at the paused battle.

"I will _not_," Remus said infuriatingly. "Now listen here. If you don't stop this ridiculous rumpus I will put you in detention–"

"Fifty points from whatever house you're in!" The boy yelled, and Remus shut up again.

"What the hell are you talking about–"

"I am Head Boy, which will top snobby old Prefect any day! If you don't shut up and leave the scene _I_ will put _you_ in detention! Haha!" The boy yelled triumphantly. Remus stopped altogether.

"You're James Potter?"

There was an uncomfortable pause. "Yeah. How do you know me?"

"I was in your compartment the first day of school on the train."

James was puzzled obviously. He smirked. "I was with Sirius and Peter on the first day on the train."

So the boy would remember Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew but not him?

"You gave me a chocolate frog. Don't you remember?"

"No," James said. "Are you a Ravenclaw?"

"Yeah. Probably why you don't remember me." Remus reasoned.

"What's your name?" James asked sharply.

"Remus Lupin."

There was another pause as James surveyed Remus with a disbelieving face.

"I don't remember you. It's sort of a surprise that you do me."

"I have a good memory," Remus said, shrugging. "Are you going to give me those fifty points back?"

"What? Oh."

But another boy was walking up to James, clapping him on the shoulder. It was Sirius.

"Hey mate – oh. Hi Remus. How's your head?" Sirius asked.

"Er – better. Um, I have somewhere to be. I'll leave you to – to your business." Remus said, excusing himself, and leaving the corridor. He could hear James talking about him as he walked away.

So is that why they all remembered each other? Were they all friends?

And then he wondered, would he have been friends with the three troublemakers if he was in Gryffindor? Would he be friends with probably the most opposite people from him in the school?

No.

But one thing Remus doesn't remember is that opposites attract, and especially ones who gave each other the love of chocolate a long time ago.

_AN_: No, this isn't James/Remus. I haven't written something – no, I haven't _posted _something in a long time. I've written other stories but they're not done. But I felt like writing this one a lot. It's my first M rated story but it won't be M until chapter... like 7 or something. So… there! R&R!


	2. Snuffling Chocolate

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

The thoughts of Sirius Black and James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were blurring in his mind, and the fact that perhaps all of them could have been friends if Remus would have been sorted into Gryffindor. They definitely could have been friends. They could have been master pranksters together. And they would never care about his 'special secret'.

Rubbish.

He would never have been sorted into Gryffindor, and he definitely wouldn't have been their friends. He would never have been a prankster, ever, and even them would care about his special secret, even if they would be his best friends in the school. Why was he even dwelling on this? It was someone else's life. Remus shouldn't be invading.

To get his mind off of things, he left early from dinner to go to the library. He had finished his homework and all of his reading was done, but the library is where Remus went when he had a problem or when he simply wanted to relax. And every Ravenclaw understood that part of him, for the library was mostly riddled with Ravenclaws anyway.

Greeting some of his dormitory friends while he scanned the shelves for something remotely interesting, he found his way into the creatures department by aimless wandering and grabbed the nearest book he could find, and sat down.

He found a desk and smiled, as he had pulled out a werewolf book. He didn't even notice the polite cough across from him at the table.

"Er – _ahem_. I was kind of saving that seat for someone."

Remus looked ahead of him, flustered, to find Sirius sitting across from him, with multiple pages of homework sprawled out on the table before him.

"Oh–" Remus said immediately, standing up. "Sorry. Didn't see you."

"No – wait," Sirius responded, holding up a hand to stop Remus from leaving. Remus turned around, book in hand. "You're Remus, right?" Remus nodded. Sirius smiled. "The boy who didn't know chocolate?" Remus blushed, smiling slightly.

"Is that my title?" He asked, grinning broadly. Sirius laughed.

"What do you want to be known as?"

Remus sat back down again. "Remus is fine."

"Alright," Sirius answered, nodding. "What are you reading about?"

"Oh," Remus said, having forgotten about the book. He held it up. "I'm not reading it. I just was looking for something to read. Werewolves." He said, and waved the book into the air to show the cover.

Sirius leaned forward to the table. He took the book from Remus' hands.

"Why are you reading about werewolves?"

"I just blindly grabbed something from the shelf. Kind of ironic." He said, his tongue slipping slightly at the last statement.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Why is it ironic?"

"Er – because I have an essay to do about werewolves. And I blindly reached the right book, basically." He lied smoothly, tweaking his nose.

"That is sort of ironic."

They were both smiling towards each other when there was a noise right next to Remus – an impatient grumble.

James Potter was standing over him, holding his own homework and impatiently pursing his lips at Remus, who was in his spot.

Remus glanced at Sirius, who had stopped smiling, and stood up to give James the seat.

"_Thank you_," James said in an irritated voice. Remus started toward the bookshelves again, when he heard James mutter something as an after statement quietly. "For getting your snooty Ravenclaw ass out of my chair."

Remus stopped, knowing that he wasn't really supposed to hear that, but he did have super sharp ears. He heard Sirius laugh. It made his insides burn.

James laughed with him and that was a bit too much.

Turning around, he strode over to their table and glared over at James. "If I'm a Ravenclaw _ass_ then you're a Gryffindor _git_." He said acidly, and swinging his bag higher onto his shoulder he walked away from their table. Nobody was laughing behind him anymore.

Smiling slightly, he walked out of the library back to the dormitories, feeling as though for the first time in his life he actually stood up to criticism.

The accomplished feeling of at least getting something done (in a way) put him in a good enough mood to not dwell on studying for the night and simply chat with the Ravenclaws in the common room.

"I saw James Potter today." Remus told the boy who he had talked to in the morning.

"Oh really?"

"And Sirius Black."

"Yeah, I heard that they were friends."

"I met Sirius on the train too." Remus explained.

"Oh really?" He replied again, not looking up from his homework chart for Astronomy. "Was James Potter the shitface I told you he was?"

Remus smiled. "Sort of."

"And Black?"

"Black was nice. Nicer than James, at least. We talked a little bit and it always got interrupted by James, who was never really excited to see me. He – _er_, I think dislikes me." Remus explained fairly, playing with his hands.

The boy turned a page in his Astronomy book. "Rubbish," He brushed off. "Nobody can dislike someone that quickly."

"There are some people you just don't like." Remus said.

"Yes, well," He said. "I don't think Potter is one of those see-and-hate people."

"What about that one Slytherin that he's always pranking?" Remus said, giving an example.

"Do you mean Severus? Severus Snape?"

"I don't know. All I know is that they certainly didn't get to know each other's personality before Potter started to dislike him."

"Well, he is a Slytherin. Is Potter judgmental, perhaps?"

"Perhaps. I haven't really been talking to him." Remus said, shrugging.

"But you talked to Black?"

"Yeah."

His Ravenclaw friend placed down the book and looked at Remus from his glasses a little oddly. "I heard that he's gay."

"Sirius, _gay_?" Remus asked disbelievingly. "I don't think so."

His friend shrugged. "It was just a rumor."

"Probably a spiteful dumped girl, who started it." Remus said firmly, folding closed his book and standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"Er – kitchens."

"Okay. Could you bring me some tea?" He asked pleadingly.

Remus nodded. "Peppermint?"

"No. Herbal Black Tea. It's in the purple box." He explained.

"Alright."

Sighing, Remus walked out of the common room and went down a couple staircases and passed the Great Hall entrances. He had only been to the kitchens once with his friend, but that was three years ago. He walked past the Hufflepuff common room and went straight into the bright hallway filled with food. That's as much as he remembered.

Walking past portrait of portrait, he realized that almost all of the portraits had some sort of person in them, except one with a bowl full of fruit.

He didn't know how to go on, really.

"Hey – Remus!" Remus heard, and twirled around to find Sirius strutting toward the portrait Remus was standing before. He smiled a slight smirk.

"Hi."

"Sneaking into the kitchens?" He asked, a grin playing on his lips. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "Here."

Sirius stood up on his toes and tickled the green pear, which squirmed and giggled. A green handle appeared instead of the pear.

"_Voila_." Sirius presented, spreading his arms apart. He held the door open for Remus, who clambered in.

"Thanks," He mumbled, seeing a large white kitchen with plenty of boxes of food around the counters. "Do you go in here often?"

"Oh, yeah," Sirius said, smiling wickedly. "Looks like the houseelves have already taken to cleaning the castle… That's good. They don't like me very much, and wouldn't like to see me sneaking around the kitchen again even though they already told me multiple times not to." He laughed.

Remus walked over to the cupboards where there was sign hanging saying '_DRINKS_'. He opened it and rummaged through the boxes until he found the tea. He delved deeper until he came out with two teabags for Herbal tea, one black and one green tea.

"You came here for tea?" Sirius asked disbelievingly, who was holding three bottles of firewhiskey in his hands.

"Yeah. You came here for alcohol?" Remus asked, slightly disgusted.

"Yes. And Fire's best Whiskey." He said gently, and already uncorked the first bottle.

"So…" Remus said slightly uncomfortably. "Who are the other bottles for?"

"My friends."

"Oh. Okay." Remus said.

"We're all having a party in the common room."

"You're partying?" He asked.

"Yeah. What do you do on wonderful Friday nights like these?"

"I study."

"Does everybody study?" Sirius inquired further.

"Yeah. That's what we do."

"For fun?"

"Basically," Remus replied, shrugging. He grabbed two cups off of the counter.

"Speaking of friends…" Sirius said, slightly embarrassingly. "Sorry about James today. That was – simply inappropriate."

Remus blushed. He _had_, after all, insulted him back too.

"That's alright." He said, mumbling.

"There was really no reason for him to call you that when he doesn't even know you." Sirius continued.

"It's okay. Not the first time someone has ever insulted me before."

Sirius hung his head out of sorrow. "That sounds horrible."

"No, it's okay. I'm used to it." Remus said, smiling at Sirius.

Sirius looked up again, grinning. "That was a witty comeback."

"What?"

"Calling him a git." Sirius said, smiling.

Remus smiled. "Thanks."

"I guess you're one of those people who have the way with the words." Sirius complimented.

He was about to smile and compliment him back, when he heard a very high, very shrill voice come from the entrance of the kitchen. A door slammed and both of them jumped.

"_WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING???_" A voice squeaked angrily, and Sirius' eyes grew wide.

"SNUFFLING WHISKEY AND CHOCOLATE FROM THE CUPBOARDS. INVADING OUR PRIVACY AS ELVES. THIS IS THE NINTH TIME I HAVE TOLD YOU TO NEVER RETURN TO THESE KITCHENS AND YOU ALWAYS DO, I WILL NOT HAVE ANY MORE OF IT!!!" The houseelf screeched, and grabbed a sweeping broom from the floor, starting to swat Sirius with it. He yelped out.

Remus tried to fight the elf away from Sirius but instead just decided to run out of the kitchen without helping anyway after a moment of trying to get the broom out of it's gray old hands.

Sirius came flying out of the door, laughing, with the broom flying out after him. The handle hit the wall with a _clunk_, Sirius laughing continuously on the floor.

"That was kind of funny. Do you think I could risk going back there again?"

Remus shook his head. "They know you by name, don't they?"

"All of them." Sirius said solemnly, and got up from the floor.

"You – you might want to get back to your common room. Won't your friends be worried?"

"James and Peter be worried? Nah." He brushed off, and ran his fingers through his hair.

There was an awkward silence between the two as they started walking with their goods in their hands.

"D'you play Quidditch?" Sirius asked, and Remus shook his head.

"I'm not a sporty type of person." He said, looking downwards.

"Oh." He said, reaching the stairs, and they were about to take the opposite stairs to get to their common rooms when Sirius said something.

"I should give you a lesson one time."

"What?"

"A Quidditch lesson. It'll be fun."

Not sure why he was nodding, Remus smiled and waved, walking towards the Ravenclaw common room.

What if he would still be walking with Sirius to the Gryffindor common room right now? What if they would still be talking and laughing and having an excellent time?

They would be friends.

But they weren't, so no wishful thinking.

Wait a moment – wishful thinking? Did he _want_ to be friends with Sirius? Did he want to be friends with all of those Gryffindors? Did he want to be partying in the common room right now instead of boringly studying away something that they would never need to study anyway?

Perhaps he would.


	3. Why did you just do that?

For the next couple weeks Sirius and Remus occasionally glanced at each other when they passed each other in the hallways, but all they ever did would be to gently wave or say 'hi' and then James would glare at Remus and look at Sirius kind of disbelievingly. And then Remus wouldn't say hi again for a long time, he basically just hung his head whenever Sirius passed him. And then Sirius was rather hurt and tap him on the shoulder, asking him if he was all right. And then Remus would smile, all the same every time.

When one time, Remus found that this mistake would be a little different.

Sirius and Remus had run into each other at the library and had decided to study together, when James showed up right when Sirius was talking to Remus about meeting for a Quidditch lesson.

"What?" James said. "You're giving him _Quidditch _lessons?" He asked disbelievingly.

"H-He's never played Quidditch before."

"But!" James said. "But Quidditch is _our_ thing!!"

"It's okay, Sirius," Remus said gently. "If it's a problem for James–"

"No!" Sirius said forcefully. "James, this shouldn't be a problem for you!"

"Well, it is!" James shouted, and Sirius sighed. James rolled his eyes, and jerked his hand into Sirius' arm. He drew him away from Remus, but not before he could give Remus a particularly nasty look.

Remus looked at his book, but he could still hear what they were saying. James was hissing in a rather acid whisper, but he had expert ears to hear their words.

"I – I feel like… okay, like he's–"

"Like _what_, James, spit it out." Sirius said impatiently.

"Like… L-Like he's stealing you away from me."

There was a slight pause as Remus gasped into his mouth.

"Oh, _rubbish_, James. You don't believe that bullshit, do you? You're my _best friend_, and nobody will ever top that. Nobody. Especially not a Ravenclaw. Remus isn't even my friend."

Remus felt a small pang of jealousy. Was he just another Ravenclaw that would never actually be Sirius' friend? He was staring hard at his book when he felt a single tear drip down his face.

He refused to let himself cry, especially in front of Sirius and James. He shut his book, and figuring that the conversation didn't need him anymore, he left the library and leaving his notes behind.

He would never be a friend to Sirius.

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It was rather cold outdoors but Remus decided to go outside anyway, just to escape the thoughts that had been running through his head.

He had never really had a friend. He just had roommates and dormitory buddies. He had never had a true friend to share his secrets with or learn things with… teach things with… study things with… have fun with.

And just then Remus realized that if he wouldn't have Sirius he wouldn't have a friend at all.

Remus sprang up from the ground, a sudden impulse stirring in him. It was gone the next second. He shivered, and sat back down again, curled in a ball.

He wanted his books back.

He also wanted his Sirius back.

Wait a minute – _his_ Sirius? Sirius had just clearly made it clear to James that Remus was _not_ his friend and never would be. Because he was a stupid Ravenclaw and James was his best friend.

And all of that bonding stuff was _bullshit_.

He almost sat there and cried, when he felt the snow seep through his pants and robes, making them wet and damp. Remus sprang up and shoved two tears out of his eyes. Another pair came. Another.

Sirius wasn't even his friend and he was already upset about losing him.

How could he lose something he never had?

Remus looked down in a mournful way, as though waiting for something to happen. His feet shuffled. Two more tears fell down and straight into the snow, leaving two small indentions. And all of a sudden it was gone.

He gave out a rattling breath and looked up, shuffling his feet and deciding to walk back up to the castle.

Never make anyone your _everyone_ because when they leave you have _nothing_.

Remus walked father toward the castle, pulling his coat farther around him as the wind kicked in a bit. It was snowing on his hair when he was scrambling toward the gates. He almost ran into them, when he realized that they were locked.

Cursing under his breath he knocked his foot against the metal gate. He knew that climbing the brick wouldn't work, but the thick metal bars at the entrance were riddled with enchantments if you tried to force it open.

He was just about to feel frostbite on his ear, heavy snow blocking his vision, when he heard footsteps on the opposite side of the gates.

Remus jumped up and starting screaming into the snow, trying to overpower the wind's roaring. He thumped his hand on the metal gates, which rattled pathetically. The footsteps on the opposite side of the gate were hurrying up.

"Remus?? Is that you?"

"_Yes!_" He screamed, not sure who was on the opposite side of the gate but desperate nevertheless.

"Hold on," The voice said. "Stop thumping on the gate."

With a small rattling, the gate was opened and Remus ran straightforward onto the pathway toward the oak doors without thanking his rescuer. He ran inside and sighed in relief, feeling someone close the door behind him.

"Goodness Remus. It's blowing up a storm out there. In fifteen minutes a blizzard will kick in. What the hell are you doing out there?"

It was Sirius' voice.

"I – I was taking a walk."

"Well, it wasn't a good idea, now was it?" Sirius snapped, and Remus couldn't help smiling.

"Are you worried about me, Sirius?" He grinned up at the Gryffindor. Sirius blushed.

"Don't call me Sirius."

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Because I don't like that name. My filthy Slytherin parents gave me that name."

"Your family has been in Slytherin?" Remus replied.

"Everybody in my family but me has been and is. That's why they hate me."

Remus, sensing, that the conversation was reaching an uncomfortable spot, changed the subject.

"Well, than what do you want to be called then?"

Sirius smiled. "I dunno. What do you wanna be called?"

"Me?" Remus blushed.

"Yeah."

"Oh. Um, just Remus."

"Come on," Sirius said, playfully hitting his shoulder. "Every friendship has _nicknames_!"

Remus looked up into his eyes, not lying or showing coldness. He seemed eager and warm. Remus smiled.

"How about Siri for you?"

"Then Rem for you." Sirius compromised.

"We just abbreviated our names basically."

"That's okay," He said gently. "They're still special."

Remus smiled and shook his head to get the wet snow out. Sirius took his hand and brushed his fingers through Remus' hair to get out the loose ice. Remus shivered and Sirius' fingers fell off, ghosting over his shoulder.

"Gods. You're totally freezing." Sirius breathed.

"W-Well," Remus said a little nervously, playing with his hands. "We could go back to my common room and relax b-by the fire…?" He asked hopefully, and Sirius smiled.

"Sure," He said, shrugging. "James won't care. I think."

Remus looked irritably at the wall. "Who _cares_ what James thinks."

Sirius stopped walking, considering it. "Yeah. Why do I care?"

Remus shrugged quickly, the two of them reaching the stairs. Sirius almost automatically went over to the Gryffindor Stairs, but Remus caught his elbow and led him through to the other stairs.

"Oh, right, I forgot." He said, smiling, and trudged up the opposite stairs.

Remus stood facing a large portrait with a large, beautiful wolf resting on a bed of leaves during nighttime with swaying trees behind him. The wolf was curled up, sleeping, on the dirt.

"Moonshine." He said firmly, but the wolf kept on sleeping.

Sirius chuckled as Remus prodded the portrait.

"Er – _ahem_. _Moonshine_. Moonshine!" He commanded, and wolf grunted. The portrait swung open. It didn't creak like the Fat Lady Portrait. Sirius awkwardly climbed in after Remus. The entire common room was empty except for the roaring fire. Remus climbed in front of it, smiled over to Sirius, and patted the part of the carpet next to him to represent that Sirius should sit there. He pulled his knees up to his chest and leaned against the coffee table behind him, sighing.

"Still cold?"

"Not as much."

"You still look tense." Sirius said fondly, and moved Remus' back. He started massaging his shoulder bone, and Remus moaned.

Sirius smirked from behind his back as his thumb trailed little circles around his neck.

"T-Thank you." He said, moving back to face the fire. Sirius was smiling. He looked downwards, his black hair falling over his forehead, when he stopped smiling.

"Why are your hands so… scarred?" He asked curiously, his brow furrowed. He picked up Remus' hand and brushed his thumb gently over the faded scars on the front of his hand. Remus shivered again.

Sirius examined every scar with his eyes, but then he caressed the largest scar that was still bleeding red and raw, fresh and deep. He brushed over it with the tip of his finger, and then leaned forward and kissed it.

Remus almost jumped back when he saw Sirius caress his hand but he _did _jump back when Sirius kissed the largest scar on his hand. He ripped his hand back, and looking rather disbelieving and I-can't-believe-you-did-that, he waited for Sirius' response, which didn't come.

He ran up the stairs in a flurry to leave the scene.

_AN_: Okay, so I will update Hotel Roosevelt but I am to say that tomorrow I will delete More Than Just Chronicles. I do not believe that anybody really read this story, and I simply don't have the will to continue it anymore. Feedback appreciated. :D

Love,

JULIA :D ;O :P


	4. His New Boyfriend

He hadn't expected him to exactly gasp and pull away like that, but he had expected him to be surprised. Why had he even done that? He had definitely had enough time to _expect_ things and Sirius needs at least five minutes to find out what he expects and that is enough time to let him realize the stupidity of it anyway.

Oh for Merlin's sake, it was just a kiss!

Wait. Er – a kiss _on the hand_. Not on the mouth. Not on the lips. No tongue involved. Nothing like that at all.

Either way it _was_ a kiss, and it had freaked Remus out. Sirius did think though that Remus would have no reason to freak out like that because for one – he doesn't swing that way – and two, he would never like a Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw boy. Ravenclaw boy that James hates. Sirius didn't have intentions, or nasty ideas in his mind. He didn't care for Remus that way and he never would, because that would be abnormal. But only for Sirius Black.

But now Remus _would_ think that he swung-that-way and that he _does_ have rather nasty intentions in his mind that were nothing but pleasant or regular to swim in a mind of a shy, quiet, and very undirty-like Ravenclaw. Especially Remus Lupin.

No matter how much he dwelled about the kiss though, Sirius also wondered about the fact that Remus had never answered his question. Why did he even have such scarred, pained hands? Why would anybody or anything try to ruin something so fragile, delicate, and beautiful –

_Stop it, Sirius._

Sighing, Sirius could only think to give Remus some time and then come up to him with what had actually happened.

But – wait. What _had_ actually happened?

He could have just held Remus' hand and asked about his scars. He could have just brushed over the raw flesh with his skin and then wait for an answer. But no. He decided not to think and simply lean forward and kiss his hand like he was a lady. And Remus was not a lady.

So now Sirius decided not to approach Remus. _Just let him make up his mind and come talk to me_, Sirius thought. But most times, his mind was caught between answers. _He can't have that big of a problem of gay guys._ And sometimes he told himself the opposite. _Remus must be disgusted by the thought of gayness. Otherwise he wouldn't have run like that when I simply kissed his hand. What if I would have kissed his mouth?_

Shuddering at some of the thoughts that went through his brain, Sirius decided to simply go up to Remus and tell him the truth. It's the only thing to do in situations like these.

When the ball rang for the lunch period, Sirius ran out of the classroom a little earlier than everybody else and waited by the Ancient Runes classroom for Remus, since he had seen him enter that class this morning.

There were only geeks around him waiting for their friends. Ancient Runes was an ancient class with an ancient teacher that only study-non-stop nerds took, and that confused Sirius a bit. Remus hadn't seemed nerdy at all, except for the fact that he liked reading a bit too much.

He was the third person to leave the archway, and the moment he saw Sirius, his smile slid off of his face and he tried to pretend that he hadn't even seen him.

"Remus? Over here! Remus – _stop_, I'm over here–" Sirius said exasperatedly, and grabbed his elbow.

"Er – hi," Remus said uncomfortably, clearly ready to leave the conversation as soon as possible. "I didn't see you. Something you need?"

Sirius cleared his throat. "I need to – er, to – clear the air about something."

Remus raised his eyebrows impatiently.

This was like giving a speech. He looked at the ground and cleared his throat again. "So… er, that night, a week ago – about – that was completely…" He trailed off, not really thinking that the truth was the smartest way to go anymore. The truth was sooo complicated.

No. No. When Sirius Black acts rashly he gets himself and others into trouble. He causes a problem.

He rubs the skin on the back of his neck. "That was completely stupid," Remus' eyes clouded with something related to confusion. "I-I that was a bet. James and I were doing a truth or dare thing, you know… I bet the dudes in your common room play it all the time!" Sirius tried to say playfully, slapping his shoulder with a broad, yet rather fake grin.

"Dudes? We don't carry dudes in our house." Remus corrected, and was prepared to leave again.

"Well – fine, _men_. No no no no no no, don't go, I'm not done yet."

Remus sighed, checking his watch irritably.

"I have Astronomy."

"It's lunch period."

"I never said _now_." Remus said, blushing.

"Well, anyway…" Sirius brushed past. "I didn't mean to do it. Wasn't fair to you or anything."

"So the entire trying-to-be-nice-to-the-little-itty-bitty-Ravenclaw-that's-underneath-the-mighty-prankster-Gryffindors was just a dare?"

"Noooo, not that part. That was real. Y-You're a nice, _nice_, person, Remus… and well…" He was sweating now. Nobody else had ever made him this nervous when he had to make a speech like this. "Just the part where I-I… I took y-your – your, _you know_, and well… _you know_." Sirius whispered, a little embarrassingly.

Remus put his hand on his shoulder. "Er – okay. I guess I'll – I'll see you around, Sirius." He went to walk away.

Sirius groaned. That's what they all said when they were not going to talk to them again until June, and that was _not_ what Sirius was trying to achieve.

Groaning, and running his hand through his hair, he looked frustratingly after Remus, who was dispersing quickly into the crowds.

"Remus, I'm _not_ gay!!!" He screamed out after him, and everybody seemed to stop.

He looked into his palms, shaking his head. This. Is. What. Happens. When. He. Acts. _Rashly_. Bad, Sirius, _bad_ Sirius.

Everybody was looking at him, and several boys were actually panicking together in the corner. Sirius wanted to be disgusted but wasn't, just at the seriousness of the situation in larger perspectives.

Remus turned around and looked at him just like everyone else was, and Sirius blushed. Ducking his head down, he walked irritably into the crowd and yanked Remus away from the lot of them.

"Er – _Sirius_–"

"Lips moving, still talking," He interrupted quickly. "Look, there's nothing intentional or somewhat _wrong_ about what happened the other night because I didn't even mean it. Alright?"

It was like Remus could see right through him and see that he was lying through his eyes. Sirius tried not to scream out the truth, that at the moment he thought that his hair was very smooth and golden-like. Attractive hair.

Only the hair, though.

"So you're telling me… that you're positively not gay?" Remus asked slowly, still not smiling.

"Yeah. I-I don't know necessarily how to prove it, but–"

"That's alright. I guess I just got the wrong impression that night." Remus turned around. Sirius still felt as though Remus was lying and that he didn't believe him.

"Uh… great. Alright. At least… at least you believe me." Sirius said softly, shrugging rather frustratingly. He turned around halfway so Remus wouldn't see the growl on his face.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. "I do believe you." Remus said back gently, and grinned a bit. He walked away with a smile to join his friends.

"Wait – _Remus!_"

Remus turned around again, walking backwards slightly.

"What?"

"So – then do you want to meet me out in the Quidditch Pitch at seven for a lesson?" Sirius offered blindly, not really thinking about what he was saying.

Remus looked a little reluctant but nodded his head slowly. "Um – sure. Why not. See you at seven, Sirius, no _being late_–"

"I'm never late."

"Not what I've heard." Remus said, before dispersing into the rest of the crowd laughing. Sirius smiled.

The smile slid off of his face the second later as he heard James' voice behind him.

"S-Sirius," He said rather disbelievingly. "Did you just – just – make a _date_ with that stupid guy from Ravenclaw?" James was pointing his finger after where Remus had been before he had been swept away by the crowds of people.

Sirius was frowning at this point, but nearly jumped into the air as he heard James finish his statement.

"_What?!_ NO! What the hell, James, I am NOT going on a date with the bloody Ravenclaw boy! Shut the hell up before people think I'm gay or something!"

James rolled his eyes. "You're not acting yourself lately. That Lupin has changed you."

"Bullshit, James."

"No, I'm serious," James said in a rather shaky voice, fury still in his eyes. "He's making you someone different. I told you from the beginning that I didn't like the smart asses and you ignored me."

"Shut up, James," Sirius warned. "Remus isn't a smart ass. If you'd actually get to know him you'd be more agreeable with me. You're the ass at the moment, stop insulting my new boyfriend–"

James started laughing. A cold, hard, proving laugh. He stopped all of a sudden, anger still in his face.

"See?" He said, backing away. "That damned pervert is your boyfriend. And even _you_ admit it." James said, snarling, before running away from him.

"He's my new FRIEND! _FRIEND_, James – you sodding shitface, come BACK HERE this instance! REMUS ISN'T MY BOYFRIEND! I'M NOT – I'M NOT GAY!!!" He screamed down the hall, but James was running away at top fast speed and was probably too far away to hear him.

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Harry Potter.

_AN_: Okay… so, I do say that I like criticism to grow but this is ridiculous. Whoever this 'Anno' person is has really taken to the boundaries of constructive advice to rude flames. Other than that, all of you other guys RULE! You are all positively _richeous_, so thanks for all of you and your support. I'm being emotional, but it's been a long day and I miss all of you at the moment… -sniff- tell me what you think, please!

_ANNO_: Okay, here's the deal. If you would have READ PROPERLY, you would have understood. I am not deleting this story I'm deleting my other story. Second of all, it not because I don't have enough reviews because I don't care about the amount of reviews I get. I care about the fact that I have fun writing it and they have fun reading it. I specifically wrote in the author's note that I am stopping writing it BECAUSE nobody seems to actually like it. So it is useless. I also felt no more will to write it anymore. I'm not having fun anymore writing, and they're not having fun reading anymore because they're not fully satisfied, and neither am I. I know what reasons I should be writing for, and I don't need people like you telling me the answer. I write because I love it and because it makes other people happy, and that particular story wasn't doing either. So go flame someone who will actually listen to you, or who you are actually telling the truth to and not just trying to depress.


	5. He Shouldn't Even Think It

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

Sirius didn't even know why he was doing this. He didn't know why he caught himself running out toward the Quidditch Field like mad with his coat billowing behind him twenty-two minutes before seven. He was freezing as he was throwing on his gloves and buttoning his robes. He was waiting on the stadiums so he could see the entire field, when ten minutes before seven he saw a small, bluish figure walking onto the sloping lawns.

His heart skipped a beat. Sirius threw his arm into the air to show Remus that he was up in the stands, screaming his name, when he lost his control, his feet slipped, and that he fell face forward onto the metal bench in front of him.

His feet got stuck in the bars on the bench beneath him, but his face went head first into the metal platform of the bench in front of him.

Smack first his nose broke and blood trickled out. Clutching at his face, Sirius limped down off of the stadiums and wiped away the blood hurriedly. He sneaked up on the back of Remus, and laid his hands on his back. Remus gasped but he hastily ghosted his fingers down his spine and rubbed them in massaging motions.

Sirius put his chin on Remus' shoulder and breathed down onto his jaw. Remus shivered.

"You cold?" He asked huskily, his hot breath gusting onto the side of his jaw. His gloved hands slid up to hold his shoulders.

"Just a bit."

Sirius pressed his body to the back of him. "You'll warm up in no time." He said seductively, telling himself again that he shouldn't be seducing him anyway.

Remus smiled and turned, grabbing the hands on his shoulders and putting them in his fingers. He turned to face him, smiling. Sirius' stomach churned slightly.

"Alright then. I thought I came here for Quidditch?"

The smile slid off Sirius' face for a moment, and then he remembered. "Oh, yeah…" He walked over to the school broom shed and brought out two brooms. One was obviously Sirius' and one was one that belonged to the school. Sirius smiled and handed him his own. Sirius mounted the school's.

Remus gaped at the fact that he was getting the fancy one was Sirius was getting the one that belonged to the school instead of his own.

"Why – why–"

"Well, because trust me, it'll be more comfortable than a school's broom for a first fly." Sirius lied. The only reason he was giving Remus his own broom was to be nice and show Remus that. They both grinned and Sirius blushed.

"So… mount it." Sirius instructed, not the best at this teaching-thing.

"Er – how?" Remus asked blankly.

He grinned. "I forget that you never took a class before. Not to embarrass you, or anything–"

"Oh my god, Sirius, you're _bleeding_ like crazy!" Remus shouted loudly, and Sirius jumped out of embarrassment.

"What?"

"Your nose!! What happened?"

He blushed. "Oh, I just – er, nothing, just a small little accident–"

Remus was already next to him, his pale, scarred hand on his cheek and observing his nose. Sirius nearly yelped. Remus' hand fell off of his face and the roughness of his scars left his face.

"I-I'm fine." He said, and took a napkin out of his pocket. He mopped at his nose. He put it away a moment later and showed Remus how to mount his broom.

"Not bad. You're learning," Sirius said dryly. It was getting cold and dark outside and Remus was noticing it too. But Sirius was still having a blast. "Okay. Now you kick the ground with your heels and tuck in your knees. You have to lean down onto your broom and basically push and steer forward with your hands and the tip of the broom handle? Got it."

Remus nodded.

"Good memory." Sirius mumbled gruffly, and tweaked his nose. He winced.

"Are you okay?"

"Er – yeah. Nose hurts."

"Well, it was bleeding."

"I'm _fine_," Sirius emphasized, laying down his hand, and kicked off on his broom. "Try it, Remus."

Remus shrugged in a why-not sort of way, and kicked off from the ground as well.

He may have been yelping, but he rose into the air with such perfection and precision, Remus following every step perfectly, that Sirius was very impressed.

"You're a natural."

Remus wasn't listening though, because he was looking at the sky rather interestedly, probably never up this high before on a thin piece of wood, and observing the moon. It was almost a full moon. Remus trembled.

"Are you still cold?" Sirius asked calmly, and Remus shook his head, tearing his eyes away from the moon. He steered around, playing with his broom a bit.

"No, I'm fine."

Sirius impersonated Remus and looked at the moon as well. "Ahh, the moon _is_ beautiful…" He said poetically, motioning his hand in an elegant wave. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Sirius," He said.

"Uh huh."

"I don't mean to be the stopper of your wonderful poetry, but how do you lower yourself back down again?"

Sirius laughed. "Oh. Sorry. Here, grab my hand." He reached across the chilly wind and grabbed Remus' scarred hand.

He slowly took his free hand and wrapped it around the top of the handle, steering downward and slowly taking Remus with him.

"Oh my god, Sirius, _stop this right now_, this isn't funny–"

Sirius laughed. "Then hold onto my hand, fly this way a bit, and jump onto my broom." He instructed, and Remus tried, shaking.

He managed to jump onto the other broom and keep a firm hold on Sirius', all the while shaking.

They landed softly. Sirius dismounted, but Remus was still shaking with his eyes closed tightly. Sirius laughed, and dabbed at his nose.

"Stop," Remus instructed, his eyes open all of a sudden. "You don't know what you're doing. That could be broken."

Sirius tried to be tough. "Oh, nah… just a broken nose."

"Sirius!" Remus screeched, and yanked his arm away from his nose. It was getting dark and the moon was rising higher into the sky. "Come on. You need to get that fixed and it's getting cold too. I didn't bring mittens."

"Fine." Sirius said, and stored the brooms in the shed.

"I should also be heading back to my dormitory I guess…" He mumbled.

Sirius blushed. He had almost forgotten that Remus wasn't a Gryffindor. He tried to pat him on the back in a friend-like way. "Yeah."

They were walking back to the castle in silence, blood trickling out of Sirius' nose and splattering his robes, when Remus broke the silence.

"Siri?"

"Hmm?" He responded.

"What are we?"

Sirius cocked his head over. "We're… small friends, I guess."

Remus looked over at him seriously. "That's nice to know," He looked at the ground. "I've never had a friend before."

"So I'm your first friend?"

"Yeah," He said. "It's a nice feeling."

"Better than chocolate?"

"It's better than chocolate." Remus agreed.

Sirius laughed.

"You know, you're the one who gave me that chocolate," He said with a sly smile. "You're the one who got me to like it. You're my official chocolate-buddy."

Sirius laughed again, and held open the door for Remus as they reached the castle.

"Yeah…" He said. "So… I guess I'll go to the hospital wing."

Remus smiled. "Alright. Goodnight, Sirius."

"'Night."

Sirius waved to Remus – not quite sure if a friendly hug would be appropriate yet – and made his way into the Hospital Wing.

"Black. What have you been doing at this time of hour??" The Healer said impatiently, and yanked Sirius in. "Get in bed four."

Groaning, he fell onto the bed as messily as possible and grunted moodily.

"Broken nose, I suppose?" She inspected it for a moment, and then nodded. "We can fix this in fifteen minutes. Stay seated, Black."

She bustled over to him with a potion.

"Drink it and you'll fall asleep within the next ten minutes, and you'll wake up in about thirty seconds again. Go on, drink up."

He gulped it down and slammed the cup on the table, readjusting on the bed. The Healer yanked close the curtains.

"No talking." She warned, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

He woke up again in a haze of what happened ten minutes later and stood up, leaving without any more treatment and heading toward the Gryffindor Tower.

The second he opened the Portrait Hole a book slammed.

"Where _have_ you been?" James asked furiously.

"Quidditch lessons." Sirius responded dryly, taking off of his coat.

"You were teaching Lupin, weren't you?"

"Don't call him that."

"Fine. You were teaching the smart ass?" James corrected acidly.

"Shut up, James."

"So you were."

"I told you to shut up."

"Now you're teaching the little snotrag how to fly a broom. For _three bloody hours_." James said bitterly.

Sirius glanced at the clock. It was after ten.

"So I was. What's your problem?" He asked.

"The problem? You don't know the problem?"

"No."

"The problem _is_, Black, is that your being stolen by that disgusting bastard."

"I've had enough of this shit." Sirius told him icily.

"So have I."

"That's your problem." He retorted, and with another nasty glance he shoved James into the wall and stalked up the stairs.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"We shouldn't be doing this, Sirius." Remus said, rather breathlessly.

"Rubbish, Remus. I've been waiting for a long time."

"I have too, but I'm not exactly being tempted, am I?"

"No. But that's what makes you so sexy."

"That's not true, Sirius. I'm not sexy in any way." Remus responded sharply.

"Just – just don't talk, Remus." Sirius said, and with a finger pressed to his lips, he leant forward and kissed his mouth gently. And again and again and again.

--- Sirius woke up from his dream at three in the morning, sweating and panting at the same time. He knew that he shouldn't even be _thinking _this, let alone _dream_ it. He jammed his hand on the bed sheets and cursed, knowing that these thoughts are nothing that he should even be considering.

He wasn't exactly gay but he wasn't straight either.

He was Remus-smitten.

He had eyes for only one boy.

So he wasn't gay.

He was Remus-smitten.

Sighing, he fisted the sheets and drew them over his head.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sirius managed to corner Remus again the next day during dinnertime, signaling to him over at the Ravenclaw Table. James was sitting on an opposite table from him, talking with some people on his Quidditch team, while Sirius had sat at the end of the table with Peter.

They met in the bathroom right after Sirius had finished his Treacle Tart.

"How's your nose?"

"Fixed…" Sirius murmured, blushing slightly. "Do you want to have another Quidditch lesson?"

Remus looked over in embarrassment.

"Oh… Um… I don't know if I can–"

"C'mon, Rem, you don't have _homework_, now do you?"

"No… No homework. But I'm a little busy tonight."

"With what?"

"Some…" Remus rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "… _other_ unpleasant work to take care of."

"Oh. Can I join you?"

"I'm… er, afraid that you can't really."

"Seriously, Remus, what are you doing?" Sirius asked concernedly.

"_Seriously_, nothing. It's fine."

"Then let me join you." Sirius insisted firmly.

"Sirius, I said no," Remus said, irritated. "Can you just respect that?"

"Why aren't you telling me what you're doing?"

"Because – because it's complicated.

"I have time." Sirius persisted, sitting atop of the sink counters. Remus sighed.

"Please Sirius – just forget about it."

"Are you sick? Are you dying? Are you having detention?"

"No, no, and no. Just leave it alone."

"What is _wrong_ with you? Why won't you tell me?" Sirius asked forcefully, and Remus looked at the floor.

"You wouldn't understand."

"You're wrong. I certainly give a damn where you go during the evening."

"You're not my mother."

"Oh, _come on_, Remus!" Sirius exclaimed annoyingly. "Just _tell _me."

Remus was heading towards the door. "Leave it alone, Sirius."

"No." Sirius said, grabbing his elbow. He pressed him up against the wall and pinned his wrists over his head. Remus squirmed.

"What is _wrong_ with you, you freaking pervert, let _go _of me!!" Remus yelled rather loudly, squirming still. He tried to kick his legs but Sirius moved closer so their knees touched and he kept his legs down from kicking.

Remus silenced, but confusion and angriness was in his eyes.

"J-Just… just don't talk, Remus." Sirius whispered, his finger pressed to Remus' lips, just like in the dream. Just like in the dream Remus stared back, and a moment before Sirius let their lips meet Remus said something.

"You shouldn't even be thinking about what you're about to do." He warned rather dangerously, and Sirius was about to break away at the urgency of his voice, but knew that Remus was just afraid and closed the gap anyway. Remus whimpered, his neck touching the cold bathroom wall.

James had watched it all from the crack of the bathroom stall door.


	6. James Doesn't Share Shit

_AN_: So there has been a long wait... A long wait indeed. I got this done a long long looonnng time ago but the document manager has not been agreeing with me for more than four days now. So YAY! It's working again!!! I would just like to say, here it's where it _starts_ but certainly not ends - being M rated because of slight violence. Nothing else. So if you're not an M-Approved person, it's only violence for now. Later, you might want to be M-Approved! I also would like to say, for all of you who have been upset about James' arrogant attitude, it won't get any better. It's here where it gets irreparable and guess what? I won't try and repair it anymore! It's over for little Jamsie in the nice department. Face it. In this story, James is not the nice little boy he is in the books. But then again, Remus isn't a Gryffindor in the books, and sadly, Sirius and Remus is only in fandom... _Sigh_.

Almost in a flash Sirius' mind switches from silly things to important things in just a second. He never exactly knew when Remus was just a silly thing, but he doesn't remember when he became an important thing either. Remus was just Remus, and Remus was lovely.

He heard before that love is being stupid together but with Remus love would be being smart together. He's clever and Remus is sharp. He's witty and Remus is intelligent.

Sirius hears everybody's love stories and sometimes he thinks _where's mine?_ but now he knows where his love story is. Something including the jealous friend and the two boys who knew everything would be complicated and forbidden… dear god, this was _lovely_.

Sirius' boyfriend proves that there is such a thing as a decent guy.

No, wait, he wasn't his boyfriend yet. He was a boyfriend-in-the-making. But then again, Sirius was kissing him at the moment and he wasn't paying attention to whether he was even kissing him back. Basically right now just by kissing him Sirius was letting him know that everything would be okay and that everything is fine. He's giving him the power to destroy everything but trusting him not to.

Sirius can feel Remus gasping in his breath, which must mean lack of oxygen, so Sirius pulls away and his hands slide off of his neck.

First Remus kept his eyes closed and then he finally opened them, breathing heavily. With one more heavy breath, he stares at Sirius in that same incredulous, disbelieving face that he did when he kissed his hand, and Sirius begins to feel nervous about what he has just done… He _did_ pull away from him when he kissed him on the hand.

This. Is. Why. Sirius. Should. Never. Act. _Rashly_.

And then, in that same disbelieving face, Remus grabs his face and cups his cheeks and with fingers and kisses him again.

Sirius is basically swept off of his feet, turning on the spot with Remus in his arms and his hands on his waist and Remus' hands on his face. He moans and slides his tongue over his lips and gently brushes over the roof of his mouth and caresses over his tongue. It's a battle between both of them, in a way, until Remus pulls away again, smiling, leaning his forehead against Sirius' shoulder. He kisses him briefly again. Again. Again.

"Why did you pull away from me when I kissed your hand?"

Remus is silent for a while. "It's not that you kissed my hand. It's about the scars on my hand."

Sirius looks down and glances at his scarred hands. "Why…?"

"I have a secret on me. Not just my hands."

"What is it?"

Remus smiles. "I'm not telling you." He says slyly, turning around.

Even though he was about to retort, Sirius dropped the subject. "I wish I was in your house and not in Gryffindor. I barely even know you."

"Well…" Remus says. "There will be plenty of time for sharing, Siri…"

There is a creak from one of the bathroom stalls but they ignore it.

"So… can you still not go to Quidditch lessons?" Sirius asks huskily to the Ravenclaw.

Remus smiles. "No. That's still private."

"C'mon. I'm your friend and I'm your boyfriend, aren't I?"

"Again…" Remus says. "There will be plenty of time for sharing."

Sirius smiles. "Kiss me, Remus." He commands, and they do.

Remus clings onto his neck and moans into his mouth, wrapping his arms around his neck protectively and hanging there.

Sirius breaks the kiss and grins. "You're my Ravenclaw Remus." He chimes, and motions to him to leave the bathroom.

"Sirius?" Remus asks, taking his hand. Sirius looks over to him.

"Uh huh?"

"How come you never said anything to me after first year?"

Sirius was silent for a moment. "Er – well, you know, I was getting distracted. There were girls all of a sudden, and my friends were there too–"

"What stopped you? So you had friends and you had overly friendly friends. What about the rest?"

Uncomfortably, Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, no… That's not how it was. I was really busy."

"For seven years?"

Sirius laughed in a false way. "Remus, please, _fine_ – I _forgot_ you and I never even knew you existed, I didn't give shit about you after that day on the train. Okay?" He said, explaining rather exasperatedly.

Remus nodded. "Alright. At least you told the truth."

"Er – yeah."

"I think I'll go ahead and go to the library. I still have some extra studying to do." Remus concluded quietly, and leaned up to kiss Sirius on the cheek.

Sirius was having none of that however.

He grabbed him by his shirt roughly and growled hungrily into his throat, fiercely attaching their lips and sticking his tongue into his mouth.

Remus sighed contently, slowly snaking his arms around his neck protectively and pressing his fingers into the nape of his neck and rising up into his hair.

"Oh, _Remus_." Sirius moaned, but at that time, Remus pulled away smiling, caressing his cheek and hurrying off to the library hastily. Sirius smiled.

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Remus thought he had ran into somebody when he collided with something when he turned the corner into the next bookshelf. Muttering an apology, he was prepared to hurry past them, but felt himself being grabbed at the top of his shirt and literally being lifted off of his feet.

Figuring the person had badly fallen and simply reached up for support, Remus thought wildly, he swayed on the spot dangerously and reached blindly for the bookshelf for support.

However, whoever who was holding him had _not_ fallen and was grabbing for him for help, he was holding him up. Remus struggled to reach for the bookshelf but whoever was holding him held him back.

And when he turned to look at who was holding him captive, he gasped.

Because he saw nothing at all, even though there was a secure hand over his shirt and keeping his feet from hitting the ground right now. He squealed.

"Quiet yourself, Lupin." A raspy voice said, and Remus looked into nothingness with fear. He wanted to reach out into the invisibility that was talking, but why touch something invisible when he knew that whatever it was it was human and that it was dangerous?

Remus' toes skimmed the ground as the invisible person walked forward, Remus drifting backwards, and slammed him into the wall. Looking down, his feet were possibly a foot off the ground. Whoever it was was (AN: This is _not_ a repeated word type) strong. Remus sucked in his breath.

Still waiting fearfully with this person's hand crumpled around the top of his shirt, Remus saw a head appear right in front of him as a hand pulled down an invisibility cloak and held it dragging on the ground in their free hand.

"I – I – _James?_"

"Don't talk to me. This won't be short if you will."

Remus nodded and remained quiet. James stared threatingly up at him for a moment, right before letting go of his shirt, making Remus land on the floor with a gasp. His knees buckled as he hit the floor.

He felt James' hand clasp strongly on his shoulder, a death like grip, and drag him away.

"I'm going to make this seem as normal as possible, so _walk with me_, or there will be trouble." James hissed into his ear.

Shaking hard, Remus knew that if he wouldn't cooperate he wouldn't really come out in one piece. He followed James, walking behind him, when James pushed him into the nearest classroom. It was empty, which rather scared Remus. For once he actually _needed_ a teacher.

"Please… James, this is ridiculous–" Remus stuttered nervously.

"Shut up, Lupin. I know what you've been up to." James shut the door and whipped out his wand. Remus stepped backwards.

"Er – what exactly do you know?" Remus asked.

"I know more than you think. I saw you in the bathroom. Both of you." He was sneering. James took a step toward Remus and he stepped backwards again.

Remus' eyes grew wide. "James – w-what you saw _isn't_ what actually h-happened, honestly–" He said, wringing his hands.

"Stop lying," James said, and shoved his wand upwards. Remus backed up again slowly and James was done waiting. He stalked up to him so quickly Remus almost fell back and hit the wall. He groaned out of frustration. "Or this will be worse than you think."

Remus took in a breath. "P-Please, James, this is a misunderstanding–"

James' wand pressed up against his chest. The tip was hot. Remus looked downwards at the tip indenting in his robes. James was sneering at him.

"Bullshit, you nasty liar." James hissed venomously.

"No – no, it's not! _He_ kissed _me_!!" Remus said defensively, squeaking.

"Enough excuses, Lupin. You kissed him back, didn't you?"

Gulping, Remus wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I-I'm sorry… I don't even like Sirius. This is ludicrous, James–"

"No. You do like him."

"Look James," Remus tried to say, compromising. "What's even the problem here?"

This drove James over the edge. He sneered even more and jerked his wand farther into his chest, shoving him too into the wall. Remus closed his eyes out of fear.

"The problem? _The problem, Lupin?_ The problem _is_ that _you_ made my friend gay and different, which he never was like, and that you _stole _him away!! You can't take my friend away! No! I won't let you!" He pushed him again and Remus clutched to the wall.

"Please, James…" Remus tried to plead, sweating quite a bit.

James rolled his eyes. "Oh, _come on_, would you stop being so slow and just get it?"

"W-Why can't we just share S-Sirius?" He wanted Sirius to be here _right now_. He wouldn't let James do this. But right now Sirius was not here and Remus was certainly not safe.

"_Share Sirius?_ I don't share shit! I had Sirius first!" James exclaimed, stomping his foot.

Remus trembled.

"James–" He tried to say, but before he could blink again, James sent a fist flying his way and Remus was on the ground, clutching his face. He felt a curse get thrown at him and James mutter "_Petrificus Totalus_!". Remus' body went stiff.

"Stay away from him, Lupin!" James warned, giving him a kick. "Or you'll be on the sticky end of the stick. So if you tell Sirius anything about this I'll be back. You _will_ keep silent, understand?"

James sneered at him, threw the invisibility cloak over Remus, and left the bathroom.

_AN_: Sorry for the wait!! I was a little busy with school work! But I _was_ working on this chapter part by part, so, basically, can't blame me! I wanted to post this two days ago, and then I wanted to post this yesterday, but… _sigh_. That was actually a long time ago though, because the document manager hasn't been working...

But guess what?? I have a REVIEWER file now!! Yay!! Check your review responses here!! So make sure to R&R!!!

hermionegranger47393 (V!) --- So thanks again!!! You're so sweet, can't wait for later... :D

HelplessRomantic --- Aww... I know. Suspense is good. Suspense is good indeed. The fact that you were never a James-worshipper is a little better in this story.

Rubber-duckiesofdoom --- Thanks! And it was uh-oh indeed! But I'm afraid that in this story James was never meant to be nice... :D Thanks a lot for reviewing!

MoonyDepp.6.9.1963 --- Interesting name, a little confusing, but fun username nonetheless! I'm really sorry about not updating in a while! The document manager wasn't working for four days if you read the two of my author's note at the top and bottom of the chapter... but cliffies put people on edge! So another cliffie!

Kojin --- Remus-smitten, that was just a last little word add! Just like I did in Black Quest, with the word Crappernoodles. Yay! Funnes!! Thanks!

Rekahneko --- So what did you do while you waited?? I'm really sorry about taking so long but my document manager wasn't working for DAYS! But here is another cliffie. Hopefully the document manager will work again... I hope your questions about James and Remus and Sirius were answered!

Irish-Mexican --- Cliffies rule!! Thanks! This story is all about suspense and here is some more! Sorry for the slow update!


	7. He Wants His Friend Back

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

Remus sat, crying, in the corner of the bathroom, everything aching and the invisibility cloak hiding him from view. Right now he wanted to be hidden, but then again he wanted to be out of here right now. He wanted to find Sirius and tell him what James had done, but he knew he couldn't. Sirius wouldn't leave it alone and would have to find James, and then James would beat Remus up again for telling Sirius after he had a) told him not and b) told him to stay away from Sirius.

This would be confusing.

He had just wanted a dream.

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Sirius had been waiting in the common room ever-so-patiently for Lily to come in so she could help him with his essay, but no one but Peter and him were in the common room.

"Perhaps they had an early dinner." Peter suggested.

"Rubbish, Peter," Sirius shot down harshly, checking his watch. "It's only four."

"Do you think James is outside?"

Again, Sirius shook his head. "_Rubbish_. It's snowing a blizzard out there." He said, crossing over to the window.

"He could be in the library."

"Not very likely. What is likely is that he's sneaking out more food from the kitchens without us," Sirius said a little angrily. "Ah, well, I've been in there one too many times, I guess."

"He's been gone since two o'clock.."

"Well, he could have gotten caught, I guess." Sirius reasoned, trying to ignore the bad nagging feeling in the back of his mind.

"Then they would have sent him back to the common room."

"Since when does James follow such orders?" Sirius asked skeptically. "Unless they frog-marched him over to the Portrait Hole I doubt that he would have paid attention."

Peter shrugged. "There's no place else for him to go."

Sirius started to get a little worried at this point, thinking of Remus.

"Well…" He started. "If he's not back in five minutes, you can go look." Sirius instructed, and Peter shrugged to the command.

"I guess so."

Sirius tried to ignore the clock as he read, but he was waiting for James to come into the Portrait Hole in those last five minutes. When finally five minutes were up, Sirius slammed his book shut.

"That's it. I'm going to see where he is."

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Remus struggled against the body-bind curse in the corner of the bathroom, curled in a ball as he had been when James had punched him in the face. He didn't even know the time.

But the only thing that rang in his mind was that he had denied Sirius for Quidditch lessons for the same reason that he was worrying right now. He had a transformation tonight and that night was coming closer and closer.

Whimpering, Remus closed his eyes.

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Sirius' first order of business was definitely not to go looking for James as he had told Peter. He was racing down the halls toward the Ravenclaw common room, trying to remember the way that he had followed Remus down when they had relaxed in the common room.

He skidded at walls like crazy until he passed the sleeping wolf at the door. It was awake now, looking curiously at Sirius.

"Er – Moonshine?" Sirius asked, trying to remember. What if they had changed the password?

He should have known that Ravenclaws were smarter than other houses, and so was their portrait to resemble them, as the wolf seemed to smile and shake his head.

"But, _that's the password_!" Sirius shouted. "Isn't that the password?"

The wolf nodded slightly, and Sirius groaned in frustration.

The wolf then nudged his head forehead, right where Sirius' red Gryffindor tie and robes were, and Sirius understood.

"Are you not letting me in because you know I'm a Gryffindor?"

The wolf nodded, smirking. Sirius groaned.

"Oh, _please_, come on, this is very,_ very_ important!" Sirius pleaded with the wolf, who simply laid down and closed his eyes. Sirius wanted to hit the Portrait, but decided not to.

_Wait _– why didn't he knock?

Trembling slightly, he knocked on the door, half expecting Remus to be there safe and sound and half expecting nobody to answer it at all.

A curious Ravenclaw answered it. "Who the hell is _knocking _on the Portrait – oh. A Gryffindor."

Sirius nodded urgently.

"You're Sirius Black, aren't you?" The Ravenclaw asked. Sirius groaned.

"Look, I wasted enough time by that damn wolf, just tell me where Remus is!" Sirius screamed, and the Ravenclaw looked rather taken aback by Sirius' interference to the prim and properness of their conversation so far.

The Ravenclaw stiffened. "Remus? He told me he was going to the library."

"When did he tell you that?"

"Uh – around two, I guess."

Sirius groaned again. "For Merlin's sake, don't you people learn? Two and a half hours have passed and you think Remus is _still_ in the library?"

"Well… He's done it before."

Sirius knew that this was going to be the extent of his knowledge on the subject from the Ravenclaws and raced over to library to check anyway.

The library was empty except for a couple of Hufflepuffs in the corner and Madame Pince prowling the shelves. Sirius was starting to get worried now. James and Remus – what if they had ended up in a predicament together and that's why he couldn't find both of them?

Nasty combination, they were.

Oh, _rubbish_. Sirius told himself. You don't know where James is, he could be in the kitchen for all you know.

He reasoned with himself and hurried to check the kitchens.

James wasn't there either.

Sirius sighed, rather exasperated, and decided to go back to the common room.

"Peter," He greeted. "Has James come in here?"

"No." Peter said, shaking his head.

Sirius groaned, rushing back to the Portrait to search again.

"Why, did you find him?"

Turning around slowly, Sirius looked at him disbelievingly. "_No_. Peter, if I would have found him why would I be here asking you?"

Peter shrugged. "I dunno."

Sirius sighed and ran for the Portrait Hole again, convinced that something had definitely happened.

He ran throughout the castle for another hour until he was extremely hungry. They would be serving dinner in about half an hour, what if James or Remus showed up there?

He stopped to enter the public bathroom on the first floor, and looked in the mirror, smoothing down his hair. Why would James go to such great measures of trouble and possibly expulsion just to get at Remus? This was ridiculous. It wasn't like James was in love with him or Remus.

Sirius stopped his thinking when he heard a desperate whimper in the corner.

He thought he had imagined it, but he kept quiet for a moment to hear it again.

"Hello?" He called into the silence, and this time he could definitely hear someone whimpering.

"Er… where are you?" Sirius asked uncomfortably, trying to follow the sound. There was nobody in the bathroom.

The whimper was heard again and Sirius charged for the corner from where he had heard it.

There was nothingness and only nothingness in that corner. He ran his finger along the corner edge but felt nothing. He stared at the floor of the corner suspiciously, and swiped at it. He felt the softest of fabric caress his hand – the familiar watery silk substance of an invisibility cloak.

"James?" He asked quietly. Whoever it was whimpered again.

Hurriedly, figuring whoever it was could be an intruder – or worse – a dangerous intruder. Slowly, he backed away and enclosed his fingertips around the fabric after feeling around a little for it. Gulping, he swiped it off and walked backwards to prepare himself for whoever it was.

But instead, he found Remus, bloody and crying, in the corner. He gasped, and fell onto his knees, reaching out to him.

"What happened to you?" He asked worriedly, but noticed a silvery line around him, which was mistakenly outlining.

"Are… are you immobilized, Rem?"

Remus couldn't nod but just whimpered again.

Sirius took out his wand and undid the curse, making Remus sigh and curl farther into a protective ball. Sirius reached out and touched his cheek. There was blood on it.

"W-What happened to you, Remus? Who did this?" He asked softly as Remus started crying, rocking himself back and forth. Sirius knelt a bit farther forward on the ground and gathered Remus up in his arms, having him almost sit in his lap. Remus' head fell on his shoulder.

Immediately Remus' brain went to James, but he knew that James would hurt him again if he found out and if Remus told Sirius, Sirius would have to try and punish James. Which all in all, wouldn't work.

He gulped. "T-The Slytherins…" He croaked in a deadly quiet whisper.

Sirius sighed and squeezed Remus tightly. He wiped a trickle of blood away from his forehead.

"Oh, I'm going to kill them tomorrow at breakfast." He said dangerously.

"No… don't." Remus pleaded, grabbing desperately at Sirius.

Sirius rocked the crying Remus back and forth until his sobbing quieted down. He was almost asleep when something in Sirius' mind clicked. He cocked his head over and looked at the invisibility cloak, lying on a heap on the floor. He picked it up and looked at it.

"Remus…" He asked, noticing his other friend's curious disappearance. He fingered the cloak. Remus was still crying, so he wouldn't bring it up. He would just ease it in that he knew. "What… what exactly did the Slytherins do to you?" He asked.

Remus took his hand and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "T-They – er, hit me."

"Where, Rem?"

"M-My face… my stomach… They kicked me."

Sirius stopped it there and held Remus tighter to him.

_Boy, I have a wonderful friend called James Potter_. Sirius thought sarcastically in his mind.

"Remus…" He asked softly. "Did James do this to you?"

Remus sucked up his breath and started crying again, fear coming into his face. Sirius took it as a conformation.

"Oh, Rem… I never knew he would that to you…"

"H-He told me not to tell you Sirius, please don't do anything, I don't want to get hurt again–"

"Shh… Nobody is going to get hurt again, Remus. Especially not you."

"H-He told me to s-stay away from you–"

"Well, he can say whatever he wants to, I'm going to be with you. No changes. Alright, Rem?" He asked, lifting his chin and looking into his eyes. Remus nodded and closed his eyes, allowing Sirius to lean in and kiss him gently.

Suddenly, Remus shuddered. Something… something _familiar_ coursed through his body.

"Remus? Are you alright?"

"Sirius," He said shortly, his eyes wide open. "Bring me outside. _Right now._"

"Wha – why?"

"Just please – Sirius." Remus asked pleadingly, and Sirius helped him up as another familiar pain shot through him.

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It was hard for Sirius to even look at James the next day – but he kept his promise to Remus since it had seemed so important to him – and didn't tell James that he knew what he had done. And did James sort of affect Remus into a sickness? Sirius had hurried Remus outside, where he had choked profusely and ordered Sirius to go back inside immediately.

He couldn't help thinking that James had done something to Remus to make him – _abnormal_. He couldn't help being worried, as Sirius knew that Remus was in the hospital wing this morning. He tried to be normal – as though James had done nothing – but he came out rather snappy and James became suspicious.

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Remus knew he had gotten himself into another trap as he stared in James' impassive face. He didn't even remember how he had gotten himself into it this time. All he could recall was somehow landing in James' close supervision after going to the library for some light reading. He simply _has_ to stop going to the library. Sirius was right – the library was affecting his health. Sirius had meant it playfully, but it was true literally.

He really should be spending more time with Sirius than quality time with the library or books.

That was settled.

But right now, he shouldn't even be making future plans about going to the library or how often he was seeing – or would be seeing – his boyfriend. He should be worrying about James and his rather powerful wand at the moment.

"I told you not to tell Sirius, Lupin." James growled, his wand out.

Remus gulped. "I didn't tell him – he guessed–"

"Oh, bullshit." James said acidly. Remus winced slightly.

"Look – he knows now – what am I supposed to do?"

James pursed his lips. "I'll tell you what you're gonna do – you're gonna fix your sorry little mistake – say it's the Slytherins or an accident or something – say you were drunk, or that you lied! Anything!" James shouted rather exasperatedly.

Remus looked up into James' eyes for a moment and was relieved and rather surprised. It was only fear – James wasn't going to beat him up. He was worried that _Sirius_ would beat _him_ up. In this case, Remus had the higher power, even though he certainly wouldn't push it in front of James' face.

"James," Remus said gently. "Why do you hate me?"

James sneered. "Because, _Lupin_, I don't give a damn for pieces of shit like you who steal something they didn't own!"

Remus awkwardly looked over.

"Er – what did I steal?"

"Sirius, of course, you dunderhead!" James said loudly, pushing Remus frustratingly. "You – you can't just take something you never even knew about and become their _best friend _when I knew them for seven years already and already is their friend! Who needs _two friends_? Seven years! Seven years, Lupin! And all you had was two weeks! Who wins? Seven years!" James shoved him again. Remus saw that he was ready to cry. He looked down.

James turned sideways and put his hand over his nose nonchalantly.

"I-It's not fair." James' muffled voice sniffled.

Remus sighed. "I'm sorry, James." He whispered apologetically.

"Shut up, Lupin." James said, definitely crying now. He had turned his back on Remus.

Remus continued on. "I… I didn't know you were so close. I didn't mean to interfere. I just never had a friend before. Ever. I just wanted to know what it was like. I didn't mean for it to go any farther… it just… _did_. And whatever I ever agreed to wasn't to hurt you… it was just… something I didn't even know existed." Remus said carefully, sighing out his apology.

"That's right," James said. "You didn't even know Sirius existed and you took him away. Want to take Peter, too? Or Lily?"

Remus shook his head, even though he didn't even know who James was talking about. "James, I'm sorry. I never said what I did was fair."

"Oh, so you're just a no-good, stealing, lying, cry-baby, rude… er, _unfair_ person??!" James shouted, his head still in his hands.

Remus couldn't help smiling.

"That's a rather poor vocabulary, James. But… look."

"No looking, okay?" James said shortly, turning around. His hand was off of his face, which was looking grim and bothered again. "This is what's up. Go to Sirius – and tell him _it's over_." James instructed firmly.

Remus was extremely hesitant and defensive all of a sudden. "And why would you want to do that to your friend? I thought you liked Sirius."

"I do!" James shouted indignantly.

"Then why don't you want him to be happy?"

"I do, I just don't want you to be happy!"

Remus smiled serenely. "I'm afraid that this is a trade-off, James. You break us up, I'm no longer happy but neither is Sirius."

James looked grimly at Remus for a while, thinking it over. Remus stared unblinkingly back. "No. I want my friend back." He said firmly, like a child begging for his toy.

Remus looked at the floor. "Fine, James. But if you don't get back your old Sirius that was happy and cheerful, it's not my fault." He said sadly, and before he could do anything else he held his books securely to his chest and ran from the library, tears pouring down his face.

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It was hard enough to even go up to Sirius to tell him 'we have to talk about something', as was the actual talk.

"Did he do something to you?"

"Er – no… That's actually what I need to say something to you about."

Sirius nodded urgently, expecting something disturbing to come out of Remus' mouth.

"I-I… it wasn't James who attacked me." Remus lied, looking at the floor. His eyes were misting up.

First Sirius was angry, but then he was suspicious. Remus was lying – he had never said a lie to his face before – why would it not be James?

"Remus…" He said carefully. "Who attacked you, then?"

"T-The Slytherins…"

"Why would the Slytherins attack you?" Sirius asked softly.

"They've done it before!" Remus said truthfully, his amber eyes looking earnestly into Sirius'. He rolled up his sleeve and pointed to one of the scratches that was surrounded by a quilt work of other scars and scrapes – all from the same thing except the small faded scratch that Remus was pointing to.

Sirius gasped at the sight of his arm, not really paying attention to the one small trademark of the Slytherins.

"Look! They scratched me there, and it still shows!" Remus said, still pointing to the one scar fervently. Sirius sighed.

"But why did they attack you now?"

"T-They… do it all the t-time, Sirius."

Remus was still looking uncomfortably at the floor. Sirius took his chin in one of his hands and looked sternly into his face, forcing their eyes to meet. Remus almost melted.

"Remus…" He said. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that it wasn't James who attacked you."

Blinking for two seconds, a silence came around them. Then, Remus looked into Sirius' eyes and said firmly without a smile or a frown: "It wasn't James."

Sirius was almost convinced of that for a moment, but then he let go of his chin and scowled.

"Why did you tell me that it was James, then?"

Remus looked at the floor again. "B-Because I wanted you to stop being friends with him. S-So then we wouldn't be interrupted by James'–"

"Beatings?" Sirius interrupted.

"N-No…" Remus mumbled.

Sirius sighed, thinking that Remus was persistent in his story. He thought that this was it – but then he heard Remus shudder carefully, and tell him something more.

"S-Sirius," He said shakily, and Sirius looked down to see Remus crying. "I don't think we can see each other anymore."

Sirius' eyes expanded to the maximum, his heart swelling and bursting, and his tears coming in waterfalls. He blinked. Why would he be saying this? No. No, this wasn't happening. Remus was his Remus. Remus was his _lovely_.

"W-What are you talking about, Remus?" He asked sharply, forcing himself not to cry, even though his upper lip trembled. "Why are you doing this?"

_It was James_, Sirius thought. _He was making him do this._

"We can still be friends!" Remus said desperately. Sirius tutted. Having the love of your life break your heart and say 'we can still be friends' was like having his dog dying and his mother saying 'you can still keep it.'

Sirius didn't like what he was hearing. He took Remus' face into his hands none-too-gently. "_Why_, Remus?" He asked forcefully.

Remus' eyes were shaking from the tears. "Please, Sirius… y-you knew this could never work–"

"That's shit, Remus, what did James make you say?"

"Nothing, Sirius – please–" Remus said, shaking badly.

"Nothing isn't breaking up with me, Remus. Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me." Sirius said, the words slipping from his mouth. Remus' head shot up and his eyes captured Sirius'.

"What?" He asked.

Sirius, trembling, repeated it a bit slower. "T-Tell me you don't love me."

Remus looked away but Sirius forced his head up. "I-I don't love you, Sirius." He said carefully, and Sirius' heart broke completely. He let go of Remus' face and looked away, the tears coming down.

He wanted to say "Alright, have a nice life, I will run away now," but something stopped him. He turned to face Remus again.

"S-Sirius… you couldn't have loved me." Remus whispered disbelievingly.

"Well," Sirius said stiffly. "I think I know you well enough to understand that you never knew _me_ well."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I thought I would love you forever but that's a long time to be wrong."

"Sirius, do you love me?" Remus asked quietly. He wanted to say to him desperately, "I love you too" just like Sirius wanted to say "yeah". But they both couldn't.

Sirius stayed silent.

"Oh, come on, Sirius!" Remus shouted. "Learn how to forgive and forget! Life is too short to be living with regrets!"

Sirius was stony. "Yeah, well. Looks like I wish I'll be able to forget you as easily as you'll forget me."

Remus looked downwards. Sirius started walking away. "P.S. I love you too." Remus whispered, and Sirius turned.

"Then why–"

But Remus was already walking away out of earshot.

_AN_: My document manager is really screwing up, waayyy out of wack. Tell me if you had the same problem. So here's my question, I need viewers/readers to answer it: Should this story end HAPPILY, or UNHAPPILY?


	8. For The Thirteenth Time Purely Friends

_Disclaimer_: I don't own it.

Sirius knew that somewhere along the road he had messed up bad – real bad – and it made him nauseous. He couldn't understand anymore if James had done it or if Remus really didn't like him at all anymore… the thing was that he still loved Remus. He never even knew when he had fallen in love in that small little period of time, but he knew the feeling.

He also knew that nobody believed him, and that just made him mad. Sirius knew that he had been girl crazy for the last couple of years – and that he hadn't really been able to tell the difference between love and lust – but it's just like his mind, his body, and his heart, just don't seem to be able to agree on anything.

There had been a time when he had loved three girls at one time (and so he thought) and people judged him by that. Nobody saw him as the cool boy who was just seductive and sophisticated after that… but Remus didn't really care about his regretful past. He took his for what he did in the present and Sirius was grateful.

Maybe this was a lesson… to learn that he needs to take his loves more seriously and not take them for granted. Maybe Remus finally found out that Sirius was a desirable ladies-man and decided to teach him a thing or two by showing how much it can hurt when somebody you love leaves you. He used to think that Remus would never do that, but now he wasn't quite sure anymore.

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His name was Sirius Black. For the girls, it was Sirius Black – the ladies' man. And many ladies indeed. For people like Snape or any other Slytherins, they called him Black. The people who judged him, called him Stone. They say the gray of his eyes and the gray of his personality and the cruel gray of his throwing-away-one-girl-that-loved-him-after-another, and called him Stone. Gray is the color of a stone, and a stone is all the things that people thought Sirius was. Cold, impassive, and so unemotional he can't feel love.

James and Peter called him S-Pants when they were teasing him. Mostly they called him Sirius. They called him Siri too.

But Remus – Remus called him Starfire. He said it was because the passion and fire of his love and the fact that Sirius' name was a star.

He loved the way his voice sounded when he said it.

Starfire.

He liked whispering it to himself.

_His_ name for him.

Starfire.

It used to be like a password to him.

But Remus never called him Starfire anymore. He didn't even call him anymore. So who needs a name when the only person who really _needs to_ or _should_ use it, doesn't?

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If Sirius watched Remus during class, he would look even more worn. And Sirius proved that when he was gazing at the side of his head during Transfiguration, absolutely transfixed, and rather disoriented, he would dream away the class with thoughts of him and Remus floating in his mind… Remus never looked his way.

He was so lovely, so incredibly sensitive… so smart so kind so extremely clever. Yet he seems so invisible behind his books, that none of the girls… or even the boys… ever notice him.

Or even think about him.

They all think that he is so ugly, so homely, too lowly, too pitiful, to even bother making fun of.

And sometimes Sirius thinks that there is something incredibly wrong with him because he wants to kiss him real bad, even though his hair's a mess, he's crowded behind books, he's tried and weary all the time, and that his lips are tight and scarred.

He wants to kiss away those circles under his eyes that make him look like he's never slept a second in his life. And those arms of his seem like they're just aching to hold onto someone, and Sirius wishes that it was still him.

How could he have never noticed him before? He would have loved to come up to him when no one was looking, and say "Hey Remus, would it be okay if I took your breath away? Would it be okay if I kissed you, maybe?"

And then he would have looked hurt and turned away to hide his face, because he'd think that Sirius was joking. But then Sirius would touch his shoulder and look at him with those infamous misty movie eyes that Sirius was excellent at doing, and say:

"I'm not kidding, Remus."

And then he would have looked all dumbstruck and all the gray and tiredness would fade out of his eyes and this light would come into them and his lips would look like they were getting ready to smile this amazing beaming grin, and before Sirius could change his mind he would kiss him like he had never kissed any girl before.

And then he'd wrap his skinniness around Sirius, his arms shaking, and Sirius would feel all this love and all this need pouring into him that he'd never felt come from a girl before.

And right through his lips he'd smile away his problems and Sirius would feel absolutely perfect and glad to be there at that moment. And he'd just kiss Remus to make everything better.

But now he couldn't do it anymore, and he wondered if anybody would ever do it to him to make things all right.

And it makes him shiver to think that nobody would ever tell Remus that he's so special and that they love him – and sometimes Sirius has to think – would anybody ever say that to him again?

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Remus had said 'purely friends' so he had to act 'purely friendly'.

Remus found that extremely hard, however, when he was taking notes in Transfiguration and looked over for a moment to see Sirius lounging in his chair with his hair of sleek black locks lying over his face gently. He pulled in a breath.

Getting over him might be a bit harder then he had thought.

Sirius thought that he had already forgotten him. Sirius thought that Remus had never loved him. Sirius thought that Remus was a two-faced, two-timed, ungrateful person who had just as much personality and kindness as the beast inside of him.

Yet he couldn't really tell what Sirius thought anymore. He could only tell that Sirius was getting over him a lot faster than Remus was.

It was only 12:30 and he had already had to remind himself twelve times _purely friends_.

Why was he even listening to James? Why was he doing what he was telling him to do? Why did he care at all? Didn't he have any backbone, some support that told him what to do – to follow what his heart told him to do and not the fear of his mind?

It was also very tempting when Remus looked over again and Sirius was staring at him.

Blushing, he turned back, reminding himself for the thirteenth time that they were _purely friends_.

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Sirius was just slumping back to the Portrait Hole after a long day – and probably the longest day in his life. He couldn't imagine that just this morning he had broken up with – _no_ – _been_ broken up with – Remus. He hadn't seen James all day, but that was mostly because he was trying to avoid him.

He reached the Portrait and barked the password, slinking in with his hands in his pockets, his face shaking and tearstained.

James was sitting nonchalantly in an armchair, his eyebrows raised at the book he was reading and his right leg poised on his left leg innocently, leaving a triangle shape of air where his book lay.

He wanted to growl, rip at his flesh, tear apart his jaw, crack his skull, push his eyeballs into the back of his brain –

Sirius tried hard to not slam the door. He was supposed to ignore it all – like James had done nothing – just like Remus had requested.

So he found himself calmly – but still shakingly – going up to James and sitting in the armchair next to him uncomfortably.

"So… what did you do today?" He asked stiffly.

James looked up unimportantly. "Nothing really."

"I didn't see you in classes."

"That's because I didn't go to them." James replied, still looking at the book.

Sirius was getting angrier by the moment.

"Er… _why_, exactly – did you skip the classes?"

"Because I was avoiding someone." He replied again in the same bored voice.

"Who was that?"

"Uh – just a particular nasty Slytherin." James said in a rather lying voice, waving his hand.

Sirius' hand crumpled up into a fist.

"So… I have interesting news." He said in a forced like way.

"Oh really, what's that?"

"Well, to make it short because this really is a long story–" Sirius said uncomfortably, his lips pressed tightly together. "–the love of my life Remus Lupin broke up with me and is soon going to go out with the first sympathetic hot girl that sees him," He rambled helplessly. "Do you have anybody in mind who would convince Remus to do such a thing?"

James' gaze hardened, but he didn't look up. "That's nice," He said, as though he hadn't really paid attention to the conversation. Sirius knew he had and was just avoiding the situation, and got even madder. "And no, I don't." James added.

"Are you sure?"

"Why? Did – did Remus tell you something?"

James was getting nervous and Sirius didn't like it one bit. He was going to hurt Remus again if Sirius said that Remus told him – which technically he didn't – Remus had denied that James had asked him to break up with him entirely…

Sirius looked angrily downwards.

"No. But I wish I would know why he did such a thing and who made him do it. I – I really loved him, you know James?" He said rather harshly.

"That's nice." He repeated.

Sirius didn't care anymore. Remus couldn't tell him what to do – he was no longer his boyfriend – he could tell James exactly what he knew and that he was honestly going to kill him for it.

Storming upwards from the armchair, he towered above James, his nostrils flaring and both of his fists poised.

"DON'T PRETEND LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, POTTER!!!" He roared, throwing a vase off of the mantle on the fireplace. James ducked in the chair before he stood up too and the book slid off of his lap.

"What is wrong with you??"

"YOU MADE REMUS BREAK UP WITH ME, YOU BASTARD! AND YOU HURT HIM TO! HAVEN'T YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT I LOVE REMUS AND THAT THREATNING HIM TO BREAK UP WITH ME MIGHT MAKE ME MAD, YOU SHITFACE?"

James was backing away with his hands up defensively. "I didn't tell him to break up with you." He said.

Sirius let out a roar of anger. "YOU THINK THAT AFTER ALL THIS YOU CAN LIE TO ME ABOUT IT?? WELL, SORRY, BUT THAT'S A LITTLE LATE, POTTER!"

"I–"

"I thought you were my _friend_, James!"

"I am!"

Sirius pointed a finger at him. "Real friends don't tell their boyfriends – that they love – to piss off and leave their partners alone."

Chucking another vase – although less forcefully – Sirius left the common room.

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James didn't know what to think when Remus said _"__Fine, James. But if you don't get back your old Sirius that was happy and cheerful, it's not my fault."_ But now he knew that Remus wasn't kidding. Sirius was snappy and cold, stony and even ignoring every single girl in the school. During lunch when a _boy_ had come up to him though and asked him out, he stood up and kicked him in the crotch.

James knew that there was no use lying anymore. Even though they had only spent that one fighting festival in the common room actually talking about it, James knew that Sirius knew the truth. He had already known too much to cover up.

So they sat apart during lunch, breakfast, and dinner, classes, in the common room, and in detention.

James hung out with Peter half of the time and half of the Gryffindor Quidditch time (all of them being girls). Sirius hung out with Peter for his half of the time and the rest of the Quidditch team. He didn't hang out with Remus anymore, though.

"Get a grip on yourself, Sirius." Someone in the quidditch team said.

"Why should I?"

"I don't see what was so great about Remus. He isn't exactly hot, he's not athletic, and he's in_ Ravenclaw_."

He immediately defended him. "Hey – Remus is hot. Just in his own little way."

"He's puppy dog cute, that's all."

"I don't care. He's smart, sweet, sensitive, and caring."

"Then why does he have all those ugly scars over him?" They asked.

Sirius looked rather disturbed. "I – he never told me."

"He's not exactly social, you know."

"I – I know! But I didn't care!" Sirius shouted.

"Did you ever have sex?"

Sirius fingered his robes. "No. But that didn't matter to me with Remus."

"Heavy," One of them said. "No interaction at all?"

"Hey!" Sirius said defensively again. "We made out – _a lot_."

They smiled impishly.

"Okay – let's put it this way. Did you ever see him naked?"

Sirius considered it in his mind. "Actually, no. Every time I was about to take off his shirt of even take off his robes or tie – he would immediately get antsy and make some sort of excuse to leave."

"Interesting." One of them muttered. Sirius looked downwards.

"There's so much stuff I didn't find out about him." There was an awkward silence as Sirius looked at the floor.

"James is a bastard." One of them said after a moment's pause, trying to be encouraging.

"Yeah."

"Who needs friends like that? You've got us."

"He's a damned pervert if he controls _your_ love life." They all said in rows, and Sirius smiled, looking up.

"I think he's got all the girls on the team convinced that he was the good guy in all this."

"Impossible," One of them barked. "How could you be put in a bad light?"

"I dunno."

"He can't talk them out of anything. Lily broke up with James, you know, after she found out that he did that – and told all of the girls. They're on your side, mate." He reassured.

"Hey, how about we avoid this talk and go to the Quidditch Field to fly around a bit? We can ask the girls to come along to some practice, too."

They were all nodding and Sirius was even feeling better, when Lily came into the dormitory.

"Girls aren't supposed to be up here, Evans."

Lily snarled. "I know that, but I can get up here, so I am. I have something to tell you, Sirius." She said politely.

Sirius looked at his Quidditch friends. "Hold on."

Lily nodded at all of them and moved into the corner.

"Look," She said shortly. "I always knew that the three of you were troublemakers, but I honestly did think that you were the bad one out of James and Peter. But I really do realize that I was wrong – and I apologize for judging you in that way–"

Sirius held up a hand, running the other one through his hair uncomfortably.

"Evans, are you asking me out?"

"No," She said with a sneer. "I'm coming to tell you that I really do think that you're a good guy. I'm not seeing James anymore, as you might know… I'm really sorry about all this, I feel your pain." She smiled hesitantly, because moving aside and slipping down the stairs.

Sirius didn't exactly know what had just happened, but he smiled as he walked over to his friends.

"I think Evans just apologized for judging me." He said, grinning slyly. One of them whistled.

"She wasn't asking me out," Sirius said. "I wouldn't have said yes, of course."

"Why, mate? She's hot."

Sirius looked downwards again. "I don't feel anything for her. I'm too in love with Remus."

One of them groaned. "Come on, man, you need to move on!"

Another one disagreed immediately. "Rubbish! You do realize, Sirius, that the only reason Remus broke up with you is because of James? He still loves you!"

"That's the thing," Sirius said, shaking his head. "I'm not sure if he _ever_ loved me. I'm not sure about anything about him anymore."

"Look. I'm going to the Quidditch field. Is anybody coming with me?"

They all nodded and jumped off of the bed, getting their coats and mittens.

Sirius raced down the stairs just like everybody else did, and when all of the Quidditch girls suddenly burst through the Portrait Hole just when they were about to leave the common room – they all gathered around them.

"Wanna come?"

"Quidditch field–"

"Why, is it practice or something?"

"That's impossible, Coach didn't tell us about any practice!"

"It's not practice–"

"It's just fun flying to cheer some people up." They patted Sirius on the back and the girls all smiled sympathetically.

"It's freezing out there."

"So? Bring your mittens."

"Fine."

"In two minutes we'll see you out there."

"Alright."

"Well – if everybody else is going."

The girls vanished up the staircase while the boys departed out of the Portrait door.

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James never had thought about how this would affect Sirius after he decided it. He had wanted his friend back and he had gotten the opposite. He had first regularly had a fairly happy Sirius full-time, lately he had had a very cheerful Sirius half-time, and now, wanting to get things normal again, he had a no-time gloomy Sirius. But James was not really an apologizing type of person.

The thing was that he never really _liked_ Remus. From the moment Remus had run into him when he was dueling with that first year – challenged his intelligence – and threatened with his Prefect duties – he still remembered him running onto the scene with his hair messy and him yelling: "Now stop, _stop_, STOP!" and James had told him to shut up, taken away fifty points from Ravenclaw, and almost put him in detention – but anyway, ever since then, he had never liked him.

He never saw the good part in him that Sirius had seen.

Ever since first year – for seven long years – they had been best friends. There had never been an intruder. Nobody ever let one in. There were no other friends. There were just acquaintances. Nothing more. They were such a tight trio, that James was even surprised that Sirius said "Hey mate – oh. Hi Remus." When they had met in the hallway.

Sirius _knew_ Remus already??

And the fact that Sirius had _begged_ for Remus' forgiveness for kissing his hand – he played their sport – Quidditch – _with Remus_, and then he fought for their togetherness in the bathroom, which James all watched from the stall in the same restroom… It made him disturbed. The let alone _thought_ was disturbing.

Since second year they had talked about their sexuality. They had agreed to be friends forever but never kiss again (they had played Truth or Dare which had evolved into Spin-The-Bottle that day…) because gayness was weird.

They never talked about it again. They just had agreed that they would stick to girls and that would be normal and okay for everybody.

But they were just stupid twelve year olds back then.

James had supposed that Sirius had just changed his mind. It was certainly okay, it was just a little weird for James. Sirius liked a _boy_. But _Sirius_ was a boy himself!

James stopped himself from shuddering. Did that mean that Sirius had once or twice or before or at this very moment been thinking dirty thoughts about _James_?

It was just very, very, _very_ weird.

And seeing that Remus was just the same made him even weirder, and made James like him less.

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He was flying with all the current friends he had – his broom high in the air and him with it… wherever his broom went he went… and that was fine.

Sirius didn't miss James one bit. He only missed Remus, and missing Remus made him think if Remus was missing _him_ at this moment.

It did distract him somehow, and so twice he flew into the stadiums.

"What the hell, Sirius? _Again?_"

"Er – sorry. Good this isn't a real game, huh?" He said, blushing embarrassingly.

"Goodness, Stone." They scoffed, flying back into the middle of the field.

Sirius hated that name.

"Stop calling me _Stone_…I'm not a rock."

"I know that." He called back. Some of the girls chuckled.

"_Shut up_." He hissed at them irritably, his mood decreasing by the second. They chuckled again.

"You know, Sirius…" One of them said, their broom coming closer. "Girls like us understand feelings. They understand guys. You can be emotional with us. We'll understand – that's what we're here for. So go ahead. You can even cry. We'll just listen."

All of the girls had gathered around him on their brooms now. Sirius scowled disgustedly at them, backing away. "You're _kidding_, right?"

"No!" They all said girlishly, giggling.

"Honestly, I don't need a therapist, thank you–"

"I bet he's missing James right now…" One of them whispered. This drove Sirius over the edge.

"_No_! I'm not missing that two-faced bastard, I'm missing Remus!" He shouted at them, and they all turned to each other earnestly.

"Aww…" They murmured, tilting their heads. "That's so sweet, Siri."

"Shut up." He said again, moving him broom away from all of them.

He had had enough of bumping into bleachers, so he slowly went down to the ground with the broom handle held firmly in his fingers. Everybody else hadn't even noticed that Sirius had left.

Remus would have noticed.

He didn't want to get himself welled up again, so he stored his broom in the cupboard and headed back to the dormitory, his nose red from the cold.

He was just heading over to the dormitory in a power walk, when he ran smack first into something solid and keeled over.

He knew it was probably some first year who would start crying in two seconds – so he waited for the sobbing with his eyes closed, sitting on the floor, but nothing came.

Until –

"Sirius, get up."

Sirius' eyes split open so fast that he thought his eyelids had been ripped off. Slowly, he stood up to face the person who had commanded to him.

"R-Remus?"

"That's me," Remus said wearily. His face was worn and tired. "Don't do that again. The floor is dirty."

Sirius shakily brushed off the dirt, staring up at Remus unbelievingly.

"W-Why would you care if I lay on a dirty floor? I'm not–"

"–my boyfriend anymore," Remus finished for him sadly, sighing. "I know. But you'll get sick, especially being out there playing Quidditch for an hour."

"Well, I guess – wait. How did you know that I was playing Quidditch?"

Remus blushed. "I saw you flying from the window."

Sirius furrowed his brow. He was just trying to look sexy in front of Remus while trying to fight the urge to kiss him fiercely. "What window?"

"Transfiguration window. I had detention."

Sirius refrained from laughing, so he looked like he had choked in his mouth. Remus winced as Sirius tried to turn it into a spontaneous coughing.

"You? _You_ in detention?"

Remus looked down, smoothing down the hem of his sleeve. "I-I guess my mind has been somewhere else l-lately." He said carefully, keeping his eyes down. Sirius wanted to melt.

"I've been feeling exactly the same." Sirius said, trying to keep things normal and not awkward.

"Ironic."

"Yeah."

There was an awkward silence around them, and Sirius realized that Remus would soon just walk away if he didn't keep the conversation going. Remus clicked his tongue silently… and this could be the last time he would ever see him.

"Oooh. A retarded baby is being born!" He said loudly, jumping quickly. Remus looked rather startled.

"_What?!_"

"Uh…" The funniness wasn't quite so funny anymore. He awkwardly rubbed his chin. "It's… it's an awkward silence!" He tried to say hesitantly, breaking up on damage control. "So… a retarded baby is being born. See? An awkward baby is always born on a retarded silence – no, I mean – a retarded baby–"

"Sirius," Remus stopped him. "Please be quiet. I have an awful headache and your rambling isn't exactly curing it."

"Oh. Sorry." He said quietly. This was just _wrong_. It didn't work anymore.

"That's okay." Remus said back, equally quiet.

They stood staring at the ground.

"This is _ridiculous_, Remus!" Sirius suddenly shouted, throwing up his hands. Remus jumped in surprise.

"What are you talking about?"

"We may be in different houses but we were still together! And yet this separation is making us not be friends–"

"I was the one who said we should be friends!"

"But it's too hard! Apparently James denied everything he ever did wrong and nobody likes me anymore – you've ruined my life, Remus!"

"That wasn't my task! That was _not_ my intention! It wasn't even my idea–"

"Then who's was it, Remus, cause I sure as hell can't figure it out–"

"You did, Sirius–"

"NO I DIDN'T! WHY WOULD I BREAK THIS UP IF I LOVED YOU?!"

"You never loved me, you cheat!! You are such a bastard, Sirius, if you think this was my idea!"

"Don't call me a bastard!"

"Don't say I ruined your life!"

"You did!"

"You did!"

"Shut up, you freaking pervert–"

"You never loved me, you shitface! You just lied!" Remus screamed.

"Right back at you, smart-ass!"

"SHUT UP!" Remus shouted. "YOU WEREN'T THE HARRASSED OR THREATENED ONE, NOW WERE YOU? SO DON'T TELL ME THAT I RUINED YOUR LIFE WHEN I WASN'T PLANNING ON IT! I GOT BEATEN UP, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, SIRIUS, AND IF YOU DON'T GET THAT THEN YOU'RE THE IDIOT IN THIS ALL, YOU NEED TO _MOVE ON_ OR DO SOMETHING, SIRIUS!" Remus shouted rather angrily, his eyes flashing every time he accused him venomously. Sirius stayed quietly in the corner.

"The Slytherins wouldn't have told you to break up with me when they beat you up, Rem." He observed silently.

Remus looked at the floor and up again quickly. "They didn't tell me to break up with you."

"Then who did?"

"No one except you, Sirius. You alone are to blame."

"I – I… _w_-_why__me_?" He asked confusedly.

For the first time in those few moments that they had actually been with each other again, Remus looked at a loss for excuses and words that could space between and patch the alibis that he had been feeding Sirius for his own good and maybe even Sirius' good.

He looked at the floor. Sirius had just wanted an answer.

"You're so confusing. You're so private. You're so shy, so downright confidential and hesitant sometimes I wish that I would have never even given you my chocolate frog in the compartment that one day," It even sounded funny, but nobody smiled. "And sometimes these days I am very glad indeed that I don't have you with me right now." And he brushed past Remus rather dramatically, neither of them laughing, smiling, or even frowning. They were just _there_, just like things between them would be now. It would just be _there_ and it wouldn't be able to change.

_AN_: Okay, I'll still be counting votes for HAPPY ENDING or SAD ENDING or BOTH… so far the votes are:

Happy: 2 (Babydex, xelloss100)

Sad: 1 (HelplessRomantic)

Both happy and sad: 2 (hermionegranger47393, bluudyrabbitofportland)\

More will be appreciated because so far we have a TIE! HURRY and submit your votes to this!!!


	9. Alone For Christmas

The crackling fire… the roasted pecans… the empty present bags and ripped wrappings strewn about in the floor and on the couch…

Remus had it all.

He was alone on Christmas evening.

With all of his Ravenclaw friends gone to their other friends, they had found more exciting things to do with more exciting people in more exciting places than sit in the common room with very, very alone Remus.

All he wanted for Christmas was Sirius, and what he got was a stack of old books, a new roll of parchment, and three bottles of ink.

Oh. And mittens too.

And so in his mind he didn't get anything at all. But then again, Remus wasn't used to wanting or wishing for something – let alone get it.

Remus sat there until his arm ached of holding up his chin to look into the fire. Truthfully, he wanted to be with Sirius, but Sirius was probably with some girl because Remus was _such_ old news, and therefore Remus was all alone in nobody's arms tonight.

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The merry chatting, the joyful people, the lovely sound of the shrieks of pleasure as somebody would rip open their Christmas gifts, everybody having eggnog by the gulps…

Sirius had none of it.

He was all alone on Christmas evening.

All of his Quidditch friends were with other people or hanging out in cooler places, and Peter was with James for a change.

All he had wanted for Christmas was Remus, and all he had gotten is a broom-polishing kit, a new quill, and a sweater.

Oh. And mittens too.

And so in his mind he didn't get anything at all. But then again, Sirius wasn't used to wanting or wishing for something – let alone get it.

Truthfully, he wanted to be with Remus, but he was probably studying in the library or sharing history notes in the common room note even thinking about him, and therefore Sirius was all alone with nobody to hold tonight.

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He was sighing for the 4th time when ten o'clock hit. How badly he wanted to snuggle up to Sirius by the fire and whisper the name Starfire over and over into his ear so Sirius would always shiver so pleasantly in that little twitch of his… and then all of his worry would melt away…

But he wouldn't let Sirius know that.

If Sirius wanted the same thing Remus wanted, he should come up to him. He had said himself that Remus was shy and quiet, so he should know that he wasn't confrontational.

But Sirius probably didn't want to be with him anyhow. He was just a shy, gullible, smartass, unlovable beast.

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Sirius was clicking his tongue in time to the ticking of the clock by 10:30. How _much_ he wanted to stroke those little wisps of hair out of Remus' face and hold his chin gently so their sparkling eyes would meet and Sirius could read Remus' soul, his worries, and his emotion by just staring at his face.

But he wouldn't let Remus know that.

If Remus wanted the same thing that Sirius wanted then he would have said something already. He hadn't meant it when Sirius had called Remus shy. He wasn't. He was the most lovable person on the world. But Remus probably didn't want to be with anyhow.

He was just a loud, stupid, ladies-man, unemotional bastard.

_AN_: Sorry this is so short. But I wrote this for fun in school today and so I thought that it fit into the story… I have another chapter to post too, in Belong To Nowhere, this just fit in. I have chapter 10 up after I'll post this, so YAY. I'll post that tomorrow evening.

Again, more people voting the better! So far here is the score:

Happy: 8 (Babydex, xelloss100. rekahneko, werewitch, Irish-Mexican, NickiNick83, Lykaios Nyx, Anonymous)

Sad: 1 (HelplessRomantic)

Both happy and sad: 3 (hermionegranger47393, bluudyrabbitofportland, Slasharific)


	10. It Don't Matter Anymore

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

Perhaps when time would pass, things would cool down.

Maybe when Remus had a time to think things through…

And Sirius had a time to get over things…

Everything would be all right again.

And Sirius was hoping for that now.

He was not a religious person at all – he had learned that when Sirius' parents had strictly told him at the dinner table to bow his head down with his Slytherin goblet raised high over his head with his left hand, and Sirius had said no because he didn't want to do anything his parents did. And so he wasn't religious.

However, it was mostly because here nobody worshipped the things that Muggles worshipped. They didn't worship large figures of fate that controlled us all, they worshipped the dead, but only the dead that mattered greatly.

Like the four Hogwarts founders. Like Merlin. Like Armando Dippet. Like Dilys Derwent. Like Everard.

And mostly Sirius wasn't religious because his parents worshipped Salazar Slytherin, and that was because they prayed for the Dark Lord to take over instead of peace forever. And Sirius wasn't for that shit.

But tonight and the night before and the night before (and he had a feeling the nights after) he needed someone to pray to and someone to hope to. Someone to share with and someone to believe in that hears you, so that he could at least know that as long as he's doing his share perhaps someone really is listening to his prayers.

Before he goes to bed he slips over the nearest window, opens it and lets the cool night breeze fall over his face and caress his skin, and then he sits on the sill searching for the largest star that he can see with only his own eyes.

And once he finds that star, he tries to imagine praying to Godric Gryffindor. And on some nights he even does so to Rowena Ravenclaw. And then he sits on the sill for a while, repeating his oath of 'doing his own part fairly' to the skies and then he blows a kiss to the star. Almost every time he sees it flash or twinkle when he does so. So then he knows that someone has heard him, so he climbs back into his own bed and falls asleep hoping.

What exactly was he hoping for?

An excellent question, when you think – what does Sirius Black want so much that he'll pray for it?

It must mean that his prayer is coming true because he's made a point to never ask for anything and he just lets stuff happen. The first prayer he's made has got to come true – with all the hope coursing through him and the nightly visits he makes to the window, and sometimes all the way to the astronomy tower to see the stars even better – but he only does _that_ on warm nights.

It's definitely got something to do with love.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Listening to Peter moan about how that if he doesn't find a girlfriend soon he's going to have to skip classes, and listening to teachers give the strict N.E.W.T. talks because this will affect on their future and if they don't pay attention now… then they'll regret it later, has Sirius so incredibly depressed.

And that one statement is always said in the lowest, most dangerous voice to show exactly how important this studying was. Only the Ravenclaws took it seriously.

But his life has been jammed with talks about school and love, and that just makes him want to have him more. While talking to Peter in the hallway Sirius sees Remus trudging along up ahead, looking so immensely alone… and he has to fight the urge to go up there and fill the spot by his side that seems like it's been empty for so, so long.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Lying on the cold floor of the Astronomy tower, Sirius thought that this night was different to be lying in the Astronomy tower even though it was cold.

He was up in the tower even though it was a freezing cold night that was chilling to the bone, and it would have been easier to simply sit on the windowsill, but he doesn't care. The stars are shining so brightly that they light up the entire night with this glow that seems to spark this wonderful feeling inside of Sirius that seems to be able to suck the months events out of him.

It was only yesterday that Sirius had been starting to talk to James a bit – he had asked for the pitcher cause it was on the opposite side of the table during breakfast. All in all, since James had started fucking things up when he had beaten up Remus in the bathroom, it had been one month since then. One month ago he was comforting Remus and helping him nurse his broken bones and slightly bloody gashes in the Ravenclaw dormitory hidden beneath the sapphire colored hangings of Remus' four-poster.

Now he was sitting cold and alone on the hard floor of the Astronomy tower, a thin blanket covering him and him only, praying on stars in the sky to be where he was a month ago. He'd know what he'd do differently, and then he wouldn't have to live like this now.

Why had Sirius started that fight with Remus? It was neither of their fault for breaking up, because basically, neither of them did break up with each other. James broke them up. But Sirius knew that Remus and him were on great terms still – if they would have been friends. But then he had to fight with Remus about breaking his heart and ruining his life when James was the one to break his heart and ruin his life and he _knew_ that. Now Remus and him weren't on so good terms anymore. They had fought. They had never fought before, especially about accusing each other on things they knew they hadn't done.

Things had been awkward, but they hadn't been broken.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, he hears this bloodcurdling scream of pain coming from the grounds below him.

Flying upwards with the blanket getting entangled and heaping up at the floor, he almost jumps over the railing as he looks down into the darkness and sees something running around the grounds as though it's hurt – as though it's trying to do something but can't really.

But it looks painful. Very painful.

The sound of ripping fills the night air and Sirius shouts, wincing. The ferocious growling and crashing through something is heard as he sees a dark figure racing along the sloping lawns and screaming along the way. It's yelping.

It makes Sirius so positively terrified for no reason that he dives onto the cold floor, trying to hide himself from the glow of the stars.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sitting on the soft silk of the navy blue sheets, Remus held his quill poised over his special, extra-thick parchment, where the number 1 was already written.

Slowly thinking, he wrote after the number 1.

Is he as obsessed with me as I am with him?

Is he thinking about me right me?

Has he _ever_ really loved me?

Did he mean all that stuff he said about me being too private and shy?

Was our time together as amazing for him as it was for me?

Will I always feel like this?

Am I going to spend the rest of life thinking of what a big mistake it was to listen to James and let go of Sirius?

Am I even making sense anymore?

Why can't I stop thinking about him all the damn time?

Did he really believe me when I said that James wasn't the one who beat me up or said to break up with me?

Did he mean it when he said that I ruined his life?

Why did I fight with him?

Why did he fight with me?

Why hasn't he ever come up and talked to me before?

Did Sirius intentionally start the fight?

What the hell is he waiting for?

Is he waiting for me to approach him?

Does he think that I'm ugly?

Does he think that I'm nerdy?

_Am_ I nerdy?

(21). Am I obsessed with this because I'm so so so so sooo much in love with Sirius and I'm worried that he doesn't love me back?

Remus can't help but stare at his list and not be able to answer any of the questions. Either he doesn't know himself very well, or he really didn't know Sirius very well at all. He wanted to know the answer to all of these really badly, but he couldn't necessarily go up to Sirius with the list in his hands like a job application form.

He _knows_ he's in love with Sirius because he has just spent the last two hours making a list of things he's wondering if Sirius is thinking about him.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The more Sirius really got to know Remus, the more he opened up, and so in the last week that they had been together he had been so outgoing and open-minded that Sirius had realized that it was basically just the same with himself.

The more he got to know Remus, the more he wanted to kiss him – and not the other way around like most girls – where he only wants to kiss her all day long and then he won't even peck her on the cheek a week later.

That's only if they last a week, though.

Maybe that's just how it is and how it works when your mind and you body and your heart and your soul, all agree with each other, and they don't all disagree into different people and different things. Maybe that's how you know that what you're doing is truly fine, and that you're truly in love.

He _knows _he's in love with Remus because he's been praying on the stars for a week now for him to come back.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Siri,_

_I'm not exactly asking you to send a response back, so just meet me at the library at six tomorrow, after dinner, no questions involved. The nonfiction section._

Sirius was not exactly a very good decipherer when it came to 'anonymous notes' but this was kind of clear.

He only knew one person who would ask to meet in a library in the nonfiction section for a secret meeting.

His heart flipped over three times.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The note still burning in his pocket, Sirius made a mad dash to the library at five thirty instead of six. He skipped treacle tart and even pumpkin juice refills. If who he thought was coming here to meet him was actually meeting him here, he would be here early too.

Smirking seductively right before he reached the library door, he opened it nonchalantly, his hands in his pockets. He browsed in the poetry section for three minutes until he got impatient and sprinted to the nonfiction section hastily.

Nobody was there.

Already he was starting to feel uncomfortable – what if James was here with his invisibility cloak and he was trying to sneak up on Remus or… maybe even _himself_?

He didn't care that he was looking retarded – he started swiping and swinging his arms around in the small aisle of books, trying to hit something invisible, until a kid said "_OW!_" When obviously Sirius had hit him with his blind swiping.

Whipping around so fast that he knocked six books on owls off of the shelves, he saw someone who was covering their nose with their hand as blood shone from underneath their finger cracks.

Looking a bit more closely, Sirius saw that it was –

"_Remus!_" Sirius screamed out worriedly, earning several nasty glances and _shhing_ noises from others. He didn't care, he was trying to see if his nose was broken or not but found it almost impossible to see between Remus' firm, scarred hands.

He was still surprised that it was Remus even though he had been suspecting him in the first place. It had become too surreal to imagine.

"I – ahh – Sirius, get _off_ – please stop that–" Remus said uncomfortably, swatting Sirius' hands away.

"You've probably broken your nose!"

"It's just my nose," Remus said unimportantly. "I've had worse injuries before, Sirius."

After Remus had dabbed at the blood and cleaned his face with his handkerchief, the two stood staring at each other.

Sirius quickly rubbed at the nape of his neck. "S-So were you the one who sent that thing to me?"

Remus nodded slowly. "The note? Yeah." He said quietly. The two shrugged, awkwardness around them again. But they couldn't tear their eyes off of each other, though. They wouldn't look sideways or at the floor.

Remus could have pounced or Sirius could have moved forward, or perhaps both of them did it at the same time, but before either of them knew what was going on, their lips were attached like old friends meeting again or a dead grandmother coming alive, as eerie as it would seem.

Both of them moaned in unison as Sirius' hands slipped downwards to the waistband of Remus' pants and his fingers just gently laid themselves down on his hips, pulling him closer, while Remus entangled his fragile hands at the nape of Sirius' neck and his hair.

It was tongue, battle, war, desperateness, saliva, teeth, muscle – and then it was all over a second later, both of them pulling apart and staring heavily at each other.

"Look," Sirius said right away. "I'm sorry about starting that fight. You didn't ruin my life. Jam – er, I mean – the _Slytherins_ did." He slipped, about to say James.

Remus chuckled softly. "Sirius," He said. "There isn't any need to pretend anymore. It wouldn't really be fair or right to us. Or – er, what we used to be."

Sirius smiled gently, and walked forward a step. His heart flopped three times three this time.

"James did it, Sirius," Remus said quietly. "And I don't understand why I listened to him. I don't understand why we're not together anymore if we both didn't want to split up."

Their eyes connected, sadness in each of them, and immediately, Sirius felt the memory of him praying on Godric and Rowena each night, the stars that twinkled after his wishes, and the fact that it could be coming true right now.

If he grabbed his star, he would have it. If he wouldn't do it now, it would be gone forever.

So why not grab it now?

He ran up to Remus the little distance left and kissed him hard on the mouth, showing him that it wasn't too late and that James was _not_ going to stop them. James didn't matter. It was _them together_ that mattered, and just the thought of it brought his world back again.

"It don't matter, Remus. We'll be fine. We'll fight for our rights as us together."

Remus leaned his forehead against Sirius', sighing. "My brave Starfire."

Sirius smiled as his old nickname rang in his mind, and he couldn't help laughing quietly as they intertwined their fingers.

"No more excuses or lies. No more leaving or fighting against each other. No more need to hope and pray even though nobody thought we'd last forever."

Remus' eyes flashed in a sparkle-like-way. "Forever?"

Sirius tilted his head. "Well. Yeah. It's not that long of a time. I wish it was longer though, if I'll be spending it with you." He said, blushing as the sappiness of it coursed through.

"Did that sound better in your head?" Remus asked, laughing.

"Actually, I never wait for my head. I just say stuff."

"Well, that means that you don't have to think about if you love me or not." Remus said, shrugging. The grin wouldn't come out of his eyes. That was something about Remus. His true grin always sparkled in his eyes, unless he was laughing. And Sirius had a way of detecting his smiles.

"It don't matter, Remus. You and I matter."

Remus closed his eyes and leaned forward just a tad, so his lips brushed against his cheek and then moved over to hover over Sirius' hot mouth. He connected theirs for two seconds.

"It don't matter." He repeated.

_Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Cause we gon' fight  
Oh yes we gon' fight  
Believe we gon' fight  
We gon' fight  
Fight for our right to love yeah  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you  
Nobody wanna see us together  
Nobody thought we'd last forever  
I feel I'm hopin' and prayin'  
Things between us don't get better  
Men steady comin' after you  
Women steady comin' after me  
Seem like everybody wanna go for self  
And don't wanna respect boundaries  
Tellin' you all those lies  
Just to get on your side  
But I must admit there was a couple secrets  
I held inside  
But just know that I tried  
To always apologize_

_And I'ma have you first always in my heart  
To keep you satisfied  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Cause we gon' fight  
Oh yes we gon' fight  
Believe we gon' fight  
We gon' fight  
Fight for our right to love yeah  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you  
Got every right to wanna leave  
Got every right to wanna go  
Got every right to hit the road  
And never talk to me no more  
You don't even have to call  
Even check for me at all  
Because the way I been actin' lately  
Has been off the wall  
Especially toward you  
Puttin' girls before you  
And they watchin' everything I been doin'  
Just to hurt you  
Most of it just ain't you  
Ain't true  
And they won't show you  
How much of a queen you are to me  
And why I love you baby  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Cause we gon' fight  
Oh yes we gon' fight  
Believe we gon' fight  
We gon' fight  
Fight for our right to love yeah  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you  
Oh oh oh oh oh  
Cause I got you  
Cause I got you  
Ooooh  
Cause I got you babe  
Cause I got you  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Cause we gon' fight  
Oh yes we gon' fight  
Believe we gon' fight  
We gon' fight  
Fight for our right to love yeah  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you babe  
Cause we gon' fight  
Oh yes we gon' fight  
Believe we gon' fight  
We gon' fight  
Fight for our right to love yeah  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
Cause I got you_

AN: So far we still need a happy, sad, or BOTH!!! ending. Right now I'm not getting any mails from fanfic so it's been troubling me for some time now… but that's fine. :D Things are great over here!!! Some people have been saying that their fanfic alert is working but fanfic emails aren't sending in general. I'm not getting reviews or alerts or anything, but I bet it'll come back... Can anybody guess the song up there??? It fits well. :D


	11. A Bit Too Much Shrieking Shack for Remus

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter – I only own the story.

_WARNING: No violence, but very smutty M-rated material. Anybody 13 or younger might want to skip this chappie._

They were walking into the Great Hall with only their smallest fingers intertwined, but to them they were almost holding each other's hearts. They weren't exactly having everybody's eyes on them, but the hall seemed to have almost silenced when they had approached the doors, standing in the middle while smiling at everybody.

Their fingers squeezing against each other, they smiled to each other's eyes before separating into opposite tables.

James was the first one staring – no, not staring – glaring, in Remus' and Sirius' direction. He couldn't help his eyes from narrowing as Sirius, still smiling and smirking, sat down next to the other Quidditch players – who were all patting his back in congratulations.

He had broken them up and lost a friend, which was not exactly okay, but it was fine.

Now his friend was still lost, and he was with Remus – who was the only reason that he lost his friend in the first place.

He wanted to stomp over to the other end of the table and stick his fork up Sirius' nose while sticking his napkin into his ear – and of course, throwing his eggs at his face.

And of course he would have to do the same to Remus.

But he didn't. He simply threw down his knife and stalked out of the Great Hall, not wanting to see or hear things that he didn't want to witness or overhear.

Sirius didn't care.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Remus didn't necessarily like public displays of affection, but with Sirius he made a point to do them.

Every time they were about to go to class, they would stop the entire mob of people by Sirius grabbing his wrist and whisking him aside, kissing him so hard on the mouth it almost looks like it hurts, and everybody stares before they go into the classroom.

Remus makes a point to make everyone stare.

But today it seemed so, so very rich, because all the Gryffindors, including the Quidditch team and James and Peter were all there, watching, when Sirius came up to him and attached his lips to his so firmly and licked at his lips so heatedly that Remus couldn't help but moan and some people would even whistle.

On February fourteenth – Valentines Day – Sirius had scheduled both of them to go to Hogsmeade with all the other kids, and Sirius had almost been afraid that Remus had already made studying plans or something but Remus was positively joyful when he heard about the date and could not stop obsessing about it.

When Sirius had first told him, Remus' eyes had widened in such a glowing way that it made Sirius' insides squirm, and then he started jumping in his chair. He hopped up, jumped into Sirius' lap, and thanked him again and again and again by kissing him.

Sirius supposed that nobody had ever asked Remus out before, and although it was sad, he was extremely happy that Remus was so… _his_, and that he was Remus' first _his_.

Cradling him in his arms in an all-smile hug, Remus had then jumped off of his lap and starting rambling on about all they would have to do in Hogsmeade.

The sweetshop, and the prankshop, and the bookshop, and quillshop, and the Three Broomsticks, and the broomshop and –

"Well, we'll have to save some time for the Shrieking Shack." Sirius said.

Remus' eager smile faded slightly, his hand still poised. "Why do we have to go to the old, haunted, creaking building far far away that we have to tramp through the snow to?"

Sirius scoffed. "You don't believe any of that shit, do you, Remus? That old building isn't haunted. I suspect some weird thing has been torn it up once."

Remus winced.

So he was a _thing_.

"Look, why do we have to ruin our visit? We won't have enough time to visit that old shack. We have classes, too."

"We can't run out of time, Rem. No classes either, it's going to be a Saturday."

Remus sighed. "We'll see, Sirius."

Shrugging, Sirius stacked up his books and stood up. He leaned over and kissed Remus' lips for three seconds. "See you later." He said, smiling wickedly.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It had been a long morning for Sirius as he had settled himself into his armchair and talked peacefully with Peter, simply waiting for the Winter weeks to be swept away. Valentines Day was approaching and Sirius had been extremely content waiting for the visit to Hogsmeade. He even endured Remus' rantings about going there – despite what Remus said – Sirius simply had to believe that Remus had never been to Hogsmeade before ever.

"I've just never been _with_ anyone before." He always firmly said, and Sirius would shake his head over and over, smiling sometimes.

Remus had even made a schedule about what they would be doing.

"Why isn't the Shrieking Shack on here?" Sirius asked, examining the paper.

"Er – well, I told you before – I don't think it would be necessary."

"It's not _that_ long of a walk." Sirius said defensively.

"But then we won't have time for Honeydukes."

"We'll have all day, Remus." Sirius said bluntly.

"Oh for Heaven's sake, Sirius, I don't have all my time free. I wanna study that day too." Remus said exasperatedly, his eyes flashing.

"It's Valentines Day, Rem. No studying."

"Then no Shrieking Shack."

Sirius twitched. "Fine."

Remus smiled and wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck, kissing him gently.

"Thank you, Siri." He said, attaching their lips again into a kiss. Sirius' hand slid down softly to his waist and let his fingers rest lightly over his hipbone and his tongue fell into Remus' mouth.

Remus made a mental note never to disappoint Sirius again.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sometimes living with Sirius' impulsive moods was not always worth the sweet cuddling after midnight in the Gryffindor common room. They way that his inspiration inspired Remus too sometimes simply got Remus off task and angry.

Tonight was one of those nights when Remus simply had to put down his homework instead of his foot, and just give in to Sirius' warm hands and moist lips.

"So Remus. Who do you fancy?" Sirius asked on his bed, his finger trailing down Remus' stomach teasingly.

Remus' eyes grew wide and then he smiled, pulling Sirius on top of him by a yank of his collar.

Growling in his ear, he husked: "Well, he's not in my house…" He nibbled on his earlobe temptingly.

"Uh huh." Sirius replied breathlessly, his breath sucked in.

"He has the body of a well-trained Quidditch professional…" He clued on, kissing his neck gently, his hands still fastened on Sirius' collar.

Sirius grumbled a low sound from his throat. "He has the most gorgeous gray eyes that just seem to make me float away…"

Their eyes met in a smile.

"And he has the compassion–" kiss on the jaw "–kindness–" kiss on the chin "– and brains–" kiss on the lips. "–of the most perfect person in the world."

Sirius stared at him for a moment; seeing the broadest grin he had ever seen on Remus, before attacking their lips together in a mind-crushing kiss.

They broke apart, gasping for air.

"So Sirius. Who do you like?"

Sirius smiled mischievously.

"Well, he's bloody _handsome_… and very sexy."

Remus blushed. "And he has the most amazing amber eyes – almost golden – that just seem to take me away to another land."

Remus' eyes sparkled as Sirius' hands slid down onto his waist.

"But what I love the most is his smile…. He doesn't need his lips to smile at me. It's a secret smile that he uses only for me… and it makes me feel so special to be the only who knows about it."

Sirius looked down and saw Remus beaming so much he looked like he was glowing – that Sirius just wanted to kiss him and kiss him and never stop.

"But it makes me so sad…" Sirius said quietly, playing with a strand of Remus' hair and not looking at his face but at the pillow. "To see something so beautiful…" He looked at his eyes sadly. "… torn with all this hurt."

He held up Remus' hand, and just like he had done in the common room a long while ago, he kissed the large scar that sliced through his hand, and then he kissed the two large parallel twin scars that ran down Remus' face.

Remus closed his eyes.

"You've had these scars for as long as I remember being with you… perhaps longer. So why aren't they gone yet, and faded, like normal scars?"

"They're just deep, that's all." Remus said rather uncomfortably.

Sirius ran a finger down one of them on his forehead. Remus shuddered.

His brow furrowed. "Who did this to you?"

"Nobody," Remus said quickly, pushing Sirius off of him and sitting up. "It's just my face and arms–"

Sirius was tempted to check the rest of his body for scars, but he didn't want to spoil the mood any farther then he already had.

Shrugging, Sirius kissed Remus' nose and pushed him back down on the bed, making him more relaxed.

"I love you, Siri."

"I love you more." Sirius whispered against his mouth. He felt a muscle on Remus' face move and him smile.

"Not possible." He said, flipping himself over so they were both on the sides instead of on top or on the bottom.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Should I show you?"

"Can't I show you first?" Remus asked slyly.

"How about we both do at the same time?"

Both of them grinning wickedly, Remus grabbed Sirius' tie and Sirius grabbed a handful of Remus' shirt and before they known it, their lips were fused together and sealed, both of them pulling at each other's clothing.

Sirius was on the top again.

His tie still in his hand, Remus pulled on it so it came loose. He slipped it into a hanging position, throwing it off without breaking the kiss.

Sirius instead unbuttoned the first button on Remus' clean white shirt, and slid his hand down to the skin underneath.

And he was extremely surprised to feel the roughness of scars. He gasped in unison with Remus.

Remus pulled Sirius' hand out of his shirt carefully.

"Who did this to you?" Sirius repeated again, a little angry at his suspicions of James. "James?"

"I had these scars before James and I crossed paths, Sirius."

"Then who–"

"Shush, Sirius." Remus said firmly, looking him in the eyes.

Sirius' hand reached for the collar of Remus shirt. He pulled it over his head and Remus whimpered at the exposed skin of his.

Sirius stared at every little scar in the patchwork of them all. Carefully, he traced each of them and then kissed his stomach gently where the blood used to run.

"You do know that I love you despite the fact that you have scars?"

"But they're ugly." Remus automatically said.

"They're very sexy Remus, they're all a part of you. They make you even hotter than you already are."

Remus blushed.

"Don't say that."

"You're beautiful, Remus, so stop telling yourself otherwise. Get used to hearing it." Sirius scolded, kissing him on the mouth hard.

Remus smiled gently.

"I love you for not caring about my scars."

Sirius flushed with the compliment.

Grinning like crazy for their multiple confessions, Remus kissed Sirius obstinately for a long time on the lips.

Sirius ignored Remus' gasp and unbuttoned his pants button while sliding his tongue into Remus' mouth.

He gasped, and immediately starting whimpering.

Sirius stopped, concerned, and cradled the crying boy in his arms protectively.

"Remus – what is wrong?" He asked quietly, stroking the hair out of his forehead.

"I-I dunno… it's just been so long since somebody has touched me."

Sirius sighed, bringing his forehead to Remus' gently.

"Well, Rem, I don't know what to tell you. You're gorgeous, so get used to it."

Remus smiled, but laid his head down on the pillow, the hair splattering around on the pillow.

Sirius laid down next to him, staring into his eyes softly.

"We can play later again…" He said understandingly, scooping the hair out of Remus' eyes.

"Thank you."

"When was the last time you had a boyfriend? Or perhaps girlfriend?"

Remus looked down at the sheets. There was a pause.

"Never, Siri."

Astounded, Sirius lifted up Remus' chin tenderly. "Well, that's okay. Tomorrow is Saturday, so we'll have Valentines Day all to ourselves with no class interruptions."

"Okay. I'm looking forward to it." He smiled and closed his eyes sleepily.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

This was the snowiest that Sirius had ever seen Hogsmeade. It was hail, snow, flurries, and ice all at once. Remus was refusing to let the weather get into their way, though.

"At least it's not raining." He had said right when they had grabbed their mittens and coats.

They were walking along the snowy village, hand-in-hand, and not talking. Remus was taking in the beautiful scenery and simply staring at all the beautiful shops decorated with delicious smells wafting outside.

"It's like a beautiful Christmas card…" Remus said, sighing. He laid his head on Sirius' shoulder.

He took out his schedule thoughtfully. "Okay. Time for Honeydukes."

Sirius nodded vigorously and fought through the snow, since now he at least knew where they were heading to. He made sure not to let go of Remus' hand as they weaved in and out of the large crowds, until they finally heard the tinkling bell of the sweetshop.

For Remus, it had been like opening a coloring book. Everything was colorful, and bright, and light and cheery, and somehow _kiddish_ that makes everyone feel so alive and imaginative.

He's not much of a sweet tooth except for chocolate, so he rushes past all the window displays toward the chocolate treats and gawks at them all.

"Are there samples?" Remus asked hopefully, his hand clenched around the small money in his pocket.

"Remus, you can get something, you know. I won't scold you or anything for shopping."

Smiling, Remus grabbed for the chocolates, turning to Sirius happily.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

They had gone almost everywhere except for a couple places, Remus noted, as they sipped warm butterbeers in the Three Broomsticks.

Remus had gotten a year-supply of chocolate, a new quill, and three books. Sirius had gone wild in the Quidditch shop and emptied his pockets almost entirely, saving only a bit left for a treat-for-two in the Three Broomsticks.

"It's only one thirty, Rem. I wanna go to the Shrieking Shack."

Remus' face fell. "Let's not."

"Oh, pleeeassseee…" Sirius whined, his face pouting.

Remus hated when Sirius did that. He almost always gave into him. "Maybe." He said.

"You know what," Sirius said. "I have something that I think might convince you." He gulped down the last of his butterbeer, slammed down his glass, and snatched Remus' hand up before prancing outside of the shop into the cold.

Remus wrapped his scarf around his neck as he slipped around the icy ground. They had passed the Hogs Head when Remus was getting edgy.

"Er… Sirius?"

"Yeah."

"Where are we?" He asked uncomfortably.

"Don't worry." Sirius answered, squeezing his gloved hand reassuringly.

Sirius fought through a couple of dead trees before reaching a dead, empty clearing filled with sparkling snow.

"Beautiful, but dark. Why bring me here–"

"Shh… Look." Sliding down the hill, the entire clearing canopied by the trees and making it almost completely dark, Remus followed him.

Reaching over to a small area of snow, Sirius dug in it until he pulled out three skates.

"James, Peter, and I would always skate here… but we don't do that anymore, really. Peter has been leaning towards James and everything lately, and James and I don't talk anymore, so… yeah. Somebody should still enjoy it."

Remus was honored as he took a pair of skates from Sirius and slipped them on, gliding onto the iced over lake in the middle of the clearing.

Sirius joined him, and immediately Remus fell onto the hard ice. He helped him get up with a gloved hand.

"I've been doing this for over five years now…"

"You're excellent." Remus said truthfully.

"Thanks. You'll get better too. Here, grab my hand."

They slid along the ice until Remus fell again, and Sirius' nose was red raw, when they tramped over to the Shrieking Shack on Sirius' wish.

They're hands swinging securely in each other, Remus still couldn't feel completely comfortable in going back to the Shack for no real reason… the creaky house was reminding Remus of his last encounter with it, when he had ripped apart a chair and even a wall…

Gulping, they entered the Shack, Sirius smiling around it.

"I wonder what kind of person came in here and vandalized this… it's such a shame their still doing it."

Remus looked over, shaking, to Sirius. He was looking down.

"I remember during Halloween time… James and Peter and I used to come in with a flashlight, hold it up to our chins creepily, and tell stories while a blanket covered each of us in the dark…"

Remus' eyes flashed. "That was dangerous. I – I mean – that person who vandalizes this place could have come in here and hurt you."

Sirius snorted. "Please. We've gone in here other times before."

Remus wanted to burst out in a rant of how _dangerous_ that really was, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Well… we've seen this. Let's go."

"Not yet, Remmy." Sirius persisted, dragging him up the stairs. Remus gulped.

"Please," He begged. "Now can we go?"

"You need to relax, Rem." Sirius scolded, and before Remus could even feel his foot reach the final step to the second floor, he felt himself being pushed up against the wall, Sirius' lips crashing upon his. His tongue quickly entered Remus' mouth and their kissing intensified, Remus wrapping his legs around Sirius' waist.

Sirius' fingers found their way to Remus' shirt buttons as he slid them all out of their holes and leaving Remus' chest exposed.  
In doing so, he could feel his hardened erection pressing into his stomach, and it only turned him on even more.

Groaning hungrily, Remus felt himself being picked up as Sirius threw him onto the dusty bed in the Shack and jumping on top of him.

There was way too much going on… how could he be wanting this to happen and… not… at the same time?

He loved Sirius but he didn't exactly love the idea of this _forever_ –

Wait – _what_?

His mind snapping back on, his eyes opening, he thought – he _didn't_ want this to last forever? He only wanted this to a be a little fling that Sirius always got to experience?

_No_. He told himself back. _I just don't think people like the idea of Sirius and I._

Rather angrily, he told himself to shut up and simply kiss Sirius or Sirius will get the wrong impression, and that just caused awkwardness.

Moaning back into the air, he pulled Sirius on top of him with a growl and attacked his lips with his tongue and his mouth, greedy for Sirius' tongue to meet his – their teeth to bump together and grind – their neediness to melt into hungriness of each other – and yearning for Sirius to simply let Remus take off his shirt…

It was more than desire; it was a craving, a thirst – for Sirius and only him.

Sirius finally pried his lips away so Remus had a chance to unbutton his shirt and lick all the way from his neck to the middle of his chest, while tangling his hands in Sirius' hair. Sirius, meanwhile, was again and again kissing his neck hungrily, making sounds like: oh, please, Remus, please, _Remus _–

And Remus didn't even mind that Sirius was mumbling into his shoulder bone, holding his arms so tightly he thought the blood might squeeze through.

And during the entire time he couldn't help but think – _is this even real?_ Why would Remus Lupin, a vicious werewolf, be in the _Shrieking Shack_ with his equal gay boyfriend, kissing him? It didn't make sense at all to Remus. It _wasn't_ Remus. Remus was shy, content, pulled-together, smart Ravenclaw Remus and _not_ hot, passionate, aggressive and greedy Remus. It didn't fit.

But he didn't have much time to worry about that as he felt Sirius' hand linger around the waistband of his pants.

Gasping as he felt Sirius slide them down his legs smoothly, Remus hung onto his neck and kissed him again, hard.

Both of them moaning in unison, Sirius nibbled over at his earlobe and moved down to kiss his jaw, until he starting sucking at his nipples and tweaking them affectionally. Remus arched his back, thinking of all the thoughts that were going through his mind.

_I love him but I've only known him since October_

But he couldn't really care. His lips were emitting sounds that he wasn't even aware of, the only thing he knew is that Sirius was moving farther down and down.

Jerking him back up by the tie that still hung around his neck, Remus bit at his neck and ripped of his tie. Sirius threw off his shirt and kissed him again, while Remus slid his hands down and unbuttoned his pants, sliding them down too and playing with his boxers wordlessly.

Sirius pinned his hands down and thrust his hips onto Remus', who moaned needily. He looked down to see a bulge through Remus' pants and he gulped, when all of a sudden he felt himself being flipped over and Remus being on the top.

"You need to stop dominating over me, my Starfire," Remus said hoarsely. "Ready for your punishment of selfishness?"

Sirius groaned as he felt Remus thrust his waist onto Sirius' twice, sliding down his own and Sirius' boxers, letting his hands slip down.

"Ooh, _Remus._" Sirius said, moaning, clutching at Remus' hair.

It was almost like a human function, as they it had all worked out like for a reason, just because this was right – it _felt _right – and Remus wasn't going to let it slip away. Every move, every moan, it was _right_, every time Remus did something and every time Sirius let him, and every time they pumped against each other, grinding, they could both just feel each other's love burning into lust, desire, temptation, everything that they could ever imagine. They could only see stars and fireworks when Sirius and Remus collapsed on top of each other, sweaty and panting.

Sirius smiled in unison with Remus, both of them falling asleep in each other's arms and powerful embrace.


	12. James Comes Back

"I think you should talk to James." Remus said quietly, sitting on Sirius' bed. Sirius groaned.

"Why would I waste my time on doing that?"

Remus put his hands behind his head and sighed, looking at the canopy. "Because, Sirius," He said carefully. "He's your friend."

"He _was_ my friend." Sirius corrected.

Remus looked over, not smiling. "Siri," He said, trying to put a serious tone into the conversation. "He made a mistake. Don't you realize that the only reason that he did all that in the first place was because he was your friend and he was afraid of losing you?"

Sirius fiddled with the covers. "How can you say that after what he's done to you?! Besides, after I yelled at James he doesn't want to talk to me any more than I want to talk to him. What am I supposed to say?"

Remus lifted up his chin and stared into his gray eyes. "You're supposed to say that you miss him and that you want to be his friend."

"But I don't miss him!" Sirius said exasperatedly. "I _don't_ want to be his friend! When we got into the fight and you and I weren't together anymore, I didn't miss him, I missed _you_, Rem."

"I missed you too, Siri. But that's besides that point," Remus sat up. "Do you really want to graduate with that hanging on your back?"

"There's no regrets for me, Remus."

He sighed, looking at the ceiling again. "When was the last time you've talked to him, Sirius?"

"Probably last week."

"And what did you say to him?"

Sirius squinted. "I asked him to pass the bacon."

"Sirius, I don't want to pressure you, but the only reason that you're not friends is because of me. I think that if I would leave you'd be friends again."

"You're not leaving." Sirius said sharply, grabbing his face in his hands. He leaned forward and captured his lips for a moment before pulling away again. His hands were still holding Remus' face. Sirius' thumb caressed Remus' cheekbone.

Remus smiled, looking down. "You need to learn to forgive and forget, Siri. I have."

"And I'm marveled." Sirius said truthfully, getting off of the bed.

"So will you talk to him?"

"Yeah, I will, I'll talk to the sodding bastard." He said, sighing and stretching.

Remus moved over, stood on his tiptoes, and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

Instead of letting him move away, Sirius wrapped his arms around him and planted a sweet and tender kiss on his lips. "You're always welcome."

The door to the dormitory opened and James walked in. At the sight of the two, he sneered and almost automatically opened the door again.

"Pott – I mean, James, wait." Sirius said, letting go of Remus. Remus awkwardly blushed and sat on the corner of the bed.

James threw down the notebook he was holding and crossed his arms squarely, staring with pursed lips at Sirius and giving a twitchy glance over to Remus.

"What do you need, Black?" He asked stonily.

"Don't be snappy with me, Potter," Sirius warned, his nostrils flaring. "You don't know what I'm about to say."

"I know what you're about to do. You're going to punch my lights out and then ask me to say sorry to that ba – _that_." James said shakily, pointing to Remus disgustedly as though he was a stomped on cockroach.

Sirius moved forward and grabbed James by the shirt dangerously and Remus gasped.

"Sirius, _no!_"

"You'll call him Remus, and not 'that' like he's a thing. Got it?" Sirius said in a low voice, and James jerked himself free.

"What do you want, I don't have all day, you know." James said, sneering at both of them and smoothing out his shirt.

Sirius looked uncomfortably to Remus and back, who nodded encouragingly. Sirius leaned over and grabbed Remus' hand, pulling him over to himself.

"Now… you should know that I'm still furious for what you did to Remus, and that if you ever do that again after this talk I'm having with you, you _will_ die–" Remus' eyes got wide but he stayed silent nonetheless. James' jaw was twitching. "–because Remus is the most important thing in my life and I _love_ him, and if you ignore that you'll face the consequences."

James sighed.

"But… with that being said. I'd like to say that I would like for you to be my friend again, James. You just messed up a bit and didn't know how to handle it, I think."

Remus smiled next to Sirius and squeezed his hand, whispering into his ear: "Good job, my Starfire."

They could tell that James was surprised even though he tried to not show it. His arm twitched as though he didn't know what to do or how to take it, and then Sirius laughed.

"C'mon, James, don't be daft. Get over here." He held out his arms and James nodded, giving each other a hug. Remus smiled as he watched.

"Er… thanks, Sirius." James said carefully, looking away. Sirius looked over his shoulder and smirked at Remus, since James' was turning away to dab at his eyes.

"I told you he missed you." Remus mouthed to him.

Sirius patted James' shoulder. "But you gotta be nice to Remus, James. He'll be here a bit more than usual. He's not stealing me away; you're still my best friend in the world, James. I love both of you, but in very different ways," Sirius said, smiling and laughing. "So to make sure that you accept him, Remus has something to say to you."

Remus wasn't exactly aware of this, but he stepped forward nonetheless and grinned at James.

"James, I know you don't like me. I know that you _hate_ me, actually, but I don't really understand why. Sirius is still your friend, and frankly, I'd like to be yours too. It would make things a lot easier. You're a good person; I saw that when you defended Sirius because he was a good friend of yours. Just because I'm a Ravenclaw and because I like to read books and because I'm not like you doesn't mean that I'm bad." Remus smiled tentatively.

James mumbled something, flushing.

"Can't you give me a chance?"

"I… I guess." James muttered, looking downwards. Remus walked forward and gave James a small hug, which James returned hesitantly.

Sirius smiled at it, capturing both of them in a three-way hug.

"I knew that this would work out one day. I knew that James would be brave enough to accept Remus and I _know_ that Remus will ease up on all the books, no?" Sirius said, grinning, as he put his chin on both of their heads.

"This won't be completely normal, you know… the Quidditch team refuses to play with me."

"I'll talk to them." Sirius said, letting go of Remus and James.

"And Lily doesn't even look at me."

"Remus and her are study partners, you know. He can talk to her."

James smiled a little.

"Well, c'mon then. Let's go introduce Remus to Peter. He'll be here quite a bit, won't he?" James asked, heading down the stairs.

Sirius kissed Remus softly on top of the head before following James, swinging an arm around his waist.

"But you _will_ have to get used to the pranking, Remus."

_AN_: Awww, so sorry that this is so short but FINALLY James is ACCEPTED and they're all friends... Next chappie involves werewolves, if you know what I mean. (wink) :D R&R!! And thanks to all who reviewed You've Been Zapped. More reviews are appreciated still!

So far this is the Happy Not Happy thingy:

Happy: 12 (Babydex, xelloss100, rekahneko, werewitch, Irish-Mexican, NickiNick83, Lykaios Nyx, lady potter7447, Riku-Rocks, Rubber-duckiesofdoom, PaddyWaddy, Anonymous)

Sad: 1 (HelplessRomantic)

Both happy and sad: 4 (hermionegranger47393, bluudyrabbitofportland, Slasharific, IdOnTwAnTyOuToSeEmEcRy)

And I didn't answer the thing from earlier chappies, the song that I used in chapter... er... 10? 11? It was Don't Matter by Akon. And HermioneGranger47393 got it right and Irish-Mexican almost got it right, so YAY for them for guessing:D Thanks for all of you who guessed or read... you all make my day!!! ;)


	13. How Many Lies, How Many Times

Of course now that Sirius and James were friends again, Remus had predicted that he'd be spending even less time with Sirius, but that certainly wasn't the case. Sirius was very protective of Remus, as though he still wasn't quite trusting James not to start harassing Remus right in front of him. So he made sure to know where Remus was almost all of the time, and if not him, he was monitoring James. While they might have reunited their friendship, their trust would never be the same again.

"I have to do some homework." Remus said, getting off of the Gryffindor couch. Sirius grabbed his hand.

"No no no no, why?" He whined, looking innocently into Remus' eyes.

Remus smiled. "Because I have _homework_." He said again, but Sirius pulled him down and secured his arms around him so he wouldn't leave.

"Homework can be done later. You should stay."

Remus groaned. "Can I at least bring my homework over here?"

"No!" Sirius said. "Gryffindor common rooms are _no_ places to do homework! Besides. Then you'll ignore me." Sirius pouted and planted a kiss on his head.

Remus closed his eyes and leaned on Sirius' shoulder.

"Also, Rem, you look awfully tired." He said, noticing the darkness that surrounded Remus' face. He lifted up his chin and examined it.

"I'm just weary, that's all."

"From what?"

"From… the week. It's been long." Remus sighed and put his head on Sirius' shoulder again, snuggling closer.

---

"So I heard that you apologized to Remus and Sirius," Lily said critically. "How did it go?"

"Actually," James corrected, gritting his teeth. "Sirius apologized to _me_."

"Why did Sirius apologize?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Well, he more or less forgave me." James admitted, rolling his eyes.

"That was… nice of him."

"I'm rather surprised. I mean… Sirius holds a grudge longer than anyone I've ever known." James said, leaning on the wall.

"Remus convinced him to talk to you," Lily said automatically. "He told me. He actually convinced me to talk to you too." She said, putting her arms onto the railing. She stared down into the dark grounds and trees.

James blushed slightly. "I guess Remus isn't… _all _bad."

Lily smiled. "He's really a wonderful guy."

"I didn't need to know that." James said with a snarl.

"I don't understand why you hurt him. He made your best friend happy, and he really didn't do anything."

James looked at the floor guiltily. "Well. He took my friend away."

"You really _are_ the six-year-old you look to be."

James' head snapped up. "Hey!" He said defensively. "I am _very_ masculine."

Lily tutted and sighed, giving James a small hug. "I'm going back inside." She said before opening the door from the Astronomy Tower and vanishing inside. James' spine felt tingly.

He looked down over the railing, staring into the darkness peacefully.

He heard an owl hoot.

A cricket chirp.

A frog croak.

And all of a sudden, a very unnatural high scream of pain and viciousness cleared through the night, and James almost fell over. His eyes bulging, he forced his head over the railing to see something running about the lawns toward… the Shrieking Shack.

"LUMOS!" He shouted out, his forehead sweating, and he shone his beam of light onto the running creature.

And James almost collapsed to see the unmistakable scars, the golden locks, and the pale skin reflecting in the large full moon. And when he looked down again, Remus' hands had inch-long claws and a jaw… a long jaw with ripping teeth. And he had shed his clothes since he had… fur.

James shuddered at the sight as he heard the ripping sounds of roaring from Remus' werewolf form, and screaming into the night air, James jerked open the door inside and ran sweating back to the common room, the cold spreading throughout his body as that scream of agony rang through his head.

---

"James, your hair looks a mess."

"I-I didn't sleep well." James muttered, rather aggravated. Sirius shrugged. James pinched him on the arm.

"Oww!" Sirius squealed, and Peter looked at both of them questioningly.

James shot a look to Sirius reapproachingly. "I. Need. To. Talk. To. You." He gritted out, not opening his mouth as he shot a dagger through Sirius' eyes with his gaze.

"Fine," He grumbled. "Talk."

James groaned and pinched his arm again.

"_Oww!_" Sirius shouted out again, rubbing his arm. "Cut it out!" He said to James, slapping him on the arm hard.

"Don't!" James said, and drank the rest of his juice. "I need to talk to you privately!"

Sirius sighed, and then waggled his eyebrow. "_Privately_? What happened? Did you wank off in front of Lily accidentally? Did you accidentally cut off something that didn't mean to be cut off in potions? Are you peeing out of the wrong place? Is–"

"Okay okay!" James interrupted, laying his hand on Sirius' arm to stop him. Sirius laughed. "Come here." He mumbled, dragging Sirius outside of the Great Hall.

"So… remember yesterday when Remus said he'd tell Lily to meet me in the Astronomy Tower?"

"Yeah?" James said, a smile playing onto his lips. "So what happened? Did she snog you?"

"No, never mind that," James brushed off. "The important part is about Remus."

"Oh, what is it this time?" Sirius asked, laughing. "Is Lily in love with him?"

"No," James said urgently. "Thankfully." He added quickly.

"So then what's the big deal?"

"It's kind of hard to say, but… I think Remus–"

There was a mob of houses coming out of the Great Hall as the first bell rang and Sirius pushed James aside. "Class. Talk to you later, mate." He said, and hurried off to find Remus so they could go to Arithmancy together.

---

"James is ecstatic that you talked to Lily about meeting him." Sirius said to Remus as they sat in class.

"That's nice. I hoped he would be happy about it. So how did it go?"

"Nothing even _interesting_."

Remus laughed softly.

"At least she's talking to him." Remus said positively. Sirius brushed through his textbook and knitted his brow together.

"He actually wanted to say something to me about you," Sirius said. "I don't think he ever even got around to saying it. It seemed pretty… urgent. I dunno. Any ideas?"

Remus smiled innocently and shook his head.

"No secrets from me?" Sirius asked, threading their fingers together underneath the desk.

Remus, ignoring the fact that he _did_ have his secrets from Sirius (and not feeling one pang of guilt), looked down at their interlocked hands and grinned up at him. "Of course not, Sirius." And he stroked his thumb across Sirius' lips gently.

"I don't either." Sirius said, and Remus quickly kissed him before going back to his book propped up on his knees.

"I guess James has just found another reason to hate me." Remus commented, slightly amused.

"Well, I can already tell you that it'll not be very persuasive… and I won't be convinced, of course. Nothing to do with Jamie's lame little advertising skills… probably just that I love you too much to be put out of it."

Remus nodded. "That's easy to understand. It's much easier to fall into something than out of it. Gravity is there for than just weight, you see." He said thoughtfully, giving Sirius a tap on the nose.

"You're… very philosophical, Remus. I like that about you."

Remus smiled broadly at him, his eyes twinkling. "Yeah. Well, just find out what James was talking about and get back to me, mmkay?" He asked, his eyes back onto the book. Sirius nodded.

"Sure."

---

"You had to talk to me earlier?" Sirius asked in Potions, James as his partner. James shook his head.

"Shh! I'll tell you when it's more private–"

"Oh, I forgot," Sirius said, smirking. "It's a _private_ talk. Are you starting female menstruation?"

James sneered at him. "Shut up, Sirius," He muttered. "You of all people should know this."

"Can I tell Remus?"

James' eyes grew wide. "NO!" He shouted, knocking down his book. He ignored the stares. "_Least of all_ Remus should know that I knew this or that you know this."

Sirius shrugged, stirring their potion.

"So when are you gonna tell me?"

"As… as soon as dinner is over."

"That's more than three hours, James." Sirius said, as though correcting James' mistake.

"I know, buttface. I didn't make an error, I can read time."

Sirius pouted. "But I–"

"No! I'm not going to tell you until I want to tell you!"

Sirius sulked like a five year old and huddled himself in the corner of the chair, giving James the cold shoulder. "Fine. But maybe I don't want to know the news anyhow…" He said loftily. James shrugged.

"I'll just tell Remus instead, then."

"Fine."

James sneered at the not-paying-attention Sirius, and grumbled.

---

"I thought you weren't speaking to me." James said airily.

"I _wasn't_."

"Oh, so you lasted the exact three hours?"

"Shut up. I wanna know the secret about Remus." Sirius persisted, and sat down nervously beside James. "But you should know that if this is bullshit I will definitely _not_ be telling you secrets ever again."

"It's not bullshit." James said, holding up his hands defensively.

"Okay. What is it?"

Sighing, James set away his papers and looked stonily into Sirius' eyes. "Now you should realize how hard this is to say for me."

Sirius looked impatient.

"Because I do know how much you love Remus," James said, looking at the floor with excessive hand movements. "And I am aware that hurting him will never help my case. This is nothing of the sort, I promise."

Sirius nodded. "I get it. What's the secret, James?"

James sighed, looking rather irritatingly at Sirius. "Gods, Sirius, you are as impatient as a two-year-old. One day you need to stop being so desperate for bizarre rumors and gossip. This isn't just dishing dirt."

"Fine."

Sighing again, James cleared his throat. "I don't think you should see Remus anymore."

First Sirius looked concerned and disbelieving, and then he looked mad. "For Merlin's sake, James, I don't have time for shit like this just because you don't like Remus–"

"No, wait!" James said quickly. "I have a reason, you know!"

"Then let's hear it." Sirius snarled, standing up.

"Remus is a–"

"Kind, selfless, good-hearted person!" Sirius shouted, pointing a finger in James' chest. "Even after you beat him up he was still nice to you! You are such a judging, mind-driven jealous bastard!"

"REMUS IS A WEREWOLF!" James shouted over Sirius' mad ranting, and Sirius grew quiet immediately.

There was a silence.

"Is this rubbish, James?" He asked awkwardly.

"No, I swear it isn't."

"So you're telling me…" Sirius recalled, sitting down. "That Remus – the put-together and slight geeky Ravenclaw Remus – is a vicious bloodthirsty _beast_?"

James swallowed. "Well… yeah!" He said. "You have to believe me, Sirius, this isn't just a lie I fetched out of the dumpster!"

"I can see it isn't," Sirius said, breathing heavily, standing up again. "It's a far-fetched lie that you cooked up yourself."

"No!!" James wailed.

"Please, James!" He cut across in a logical voice. "Why would Remus have never told me?"

"He's a very shy and nonconfrontational person!" James defended.

"How would you know this, James, because I highly doubt that he would just _tell_ you." Sirius said.

"He didn't!" James said. "I saw him that night with Lily. He was… was…" James swallowed, a shiver of fear running down his spine. "That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. The sound of that agonized screaming simply made all of my blood freeze." James whispered, looking at the floor.

Sirius paused for a moment. He had heard the exact same thing, when Remus and him had first broken up and he had laid on the floor of the Astronomy Tower… the moon had been full.

He even remembered in the bathroom, right before and after he had kissed him, how he had offered another Quidditch lesson… and Remus refused to tell him why he couldn't do it with him.

The day before they were out in the Quidditch pitch and the moon had been a day before the full moon.

The scars on his hand, his arms… Sirius knew from this moment that they must stretch all over his body.

The day when Sirius rescued Remus from the bathroom and beaten up, he had told him to bring him outside immediately with a terrorized look on his face.

It all fit together, but it made Sirius extremely angry to know that Remus had told him clearly that morning that he wasn't keeping any secrets from his one and only friend and his first ever love and boyfriend. This wasn't fair. He had _lied_ to him and kept secrets from him.

"Where are you going?" James asked quickly.

"Don't mind, James." Sirius muttered, his head swimming, as he jumped out of the Portrait Hole and walked slowly to the Ravenclaw common room.

It was a _thump_, _thump_, _thump_ as he walked.

It was a _thump_,_ thump_, _thump_ as he rapped his hand on the Portrait of the wolf, which began to growl at him. Sirius snarled at him. It was a wolf… the wolf didn't make him happy at all right now, and Sirius knew that the moment he would see Remus that it would make him even angrier.

"Who is _knocking_ on the Portrait – hello?" A tentative Ravenclaw asked, staring oddly at Sirius.

Slowly, Sirius realized that it was his turn to speak, and gritted out: "Is Remus there?"

And the Ravenclaw fetched Remus. Sirius was rather glad that Remus didn't answer the door. He might have become so mad that he might have punched him in the face.

"Hello? Oh. Hey, Sirius."

He was acting like nothing had ever happened. Like he wasn't going to turn into a tenacious, growling, brutal and ferocious werewolf in the next month. Sirius balled his hand up into a fist.

"I need to talk to you."

"Okay. Did James tell you what he wanted to say to you about me?"

Sirius saw the rare smile on Remus' lips but it didn't cheer him up at all.

"I… I know about you, Remus."

Remus looked slightly worried, but stepped out of the Portrait Hole and closing it behind him.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's talk in the bathroom." He muttered, not bothering to pull Remus through the door to the restroom.

"What's wrong, Siri?"

"You're – you're…" Sirius said, shaking slightly and just wanting to get it out. "YOU'RE A WEREWOLF!" He screamed, slamming his fist into the mirror at the sink. It shattered and its pieces scattered around the floor and gathered around the drain at the sink. "YOU'RE A WEREWOLF AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME!" He shouted, kicking the wall before looking at Remus.

Remus slid down the wall and let his knees hit his chest as he buried his face into his hands.

"No, no, no, no…" He murmured in a muffled tone. "How did you know, Sirius."

"KNOW? JAMES TOLD ME! LIKE ANY GOOD FRIEND! THEY TELL EACH OTHER THINGS!"

Remus lifted his face out of his hands. "Oh Sirius. I can't tell you how different this is."

"YES, I CAN TOTALLY CONSOLE YOU!" Sirius screamed sarcastically. "I CAN NEVER TELL MY BOYFRIEND, WHOM I LOVE, MY SECRETS! AND IT'S VERY EASY TO LIE TO HIM TOO!"

"I didn't lie to you."

"YES YOU DID, YOU FILTHY SCUMBAG!" Sirius screamed, chucking a piece of mirror at him. Remus dodged it.

"When did I ever lie to you?"

"YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU HAD NO SECRETS FROM ME THIS VERY MORNING! YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU HAD NO SCARS ON YOUR ENTIRE BODY! YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU HAD 'OTHER ISSUES' TO TAKE CARE OF WHEN YOU WERE TURNING INTO A BLOODTHIRSTY BEAST EVERY MONTH!"

"I couldn't just tell you, Sirius!" Remus tried to reason, still on the floor with tears in his eyes.

"DID YOU THINK THAT I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND?"

"Sirius, please…" He mumbled tearfully. "I am a _werewolf_. If I would have told anybody they would have never loved me like you did. They would have run from me."

"AND YOU THINK I WOULD JUST LEAVE YOU?"

"I'm a _werewolf_, for god's sake!"

"SO? YOU MUST HAVE NEVER KNOWN ME TO THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE THROWN YOU AWAY!"

"I'm so sorry, Sirius. I meant to tell you, I really did, but I just couldn't! I never knew what you would have done!"

Sirius roared out of frustration. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, REMUS, I LIVED IN A FAMILY THAT NEVER CARED ABOUT ME AND THREW ME AWAY JUST BECAUSE I WAS IN A DIFFERENT HOUSE THAN THEY WERE! DO YOU THINK THAT I WOULD DO THAT TO YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE A WEREWOLF??!"

Remus cried, rocking himself back and forth, and Sirius didn't comfort him.

"A RELATIONSHIP IS BUILT ON TRUST, REMUS! AND OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T TRUST ME AT ALL!"

Remus cried harder, not bothering to wipe away his tears. He put his head into his hands and just tried to plug out all of Sirius' yelling.

"I LOVED YOU, REMUS!"

Remus broke. He didn't love him anymore. He used past tense. Sirius had _loved_ him. He didn't love him anymore, and all because he was a werewolf.

"Well, I still love you, Sirius." He mumbled, wanting to hold onto Sirius so badly that he wanted to just lunge on him desperately. He wanted him to rock him back and forth and tell him that everything would be okay. He stood up and wiped away his tears, sobbing, and laid his hand on Sirius' arm.

"Don't touch me. And don't ever look at me again." Sirius muttered, and walked out of the door.

Why was Remus always the one left crying in the bathrooms?


	14. Mr Snape Eavesdrops

Remus didn't even want to get up from the bathroom floor hours after Sirius had left. He somehow wanted to wait for Sirius to come back and apologize and maybe even comfort him, but he knew that that was hoping and wishing.

Halfway in between his time in the bathroom, he wondered 'is our relationship even done with?' And he couldn't find the answer because _he_ didn't even know. This was an insufferable situation to be in.

"Bloody hell," Remus muttered. "Why am I even upset about this? It's just another guy. I'm sure there will be more in the future. Just another love. Just another crush. Maybe being gay wasn't the right choice for me if I can't make this work." Rather determinedly, Remus got up and got up to the broken pieces of mirror.

"_Reparo_." He said to the shards with his wand out, and they flew back with the others into place.

Examining his face in the mirror, Remus splashed water onto his tearstained face. It was extremely red and puffy, but he couldn't do anything against it. Remus just tried to pat dry his face after washing it a little, to get the color back in, and then he traipsed back to the common room with his head held high. He didn't need a guy. He didn't need Sirius at all. He had gone without him before, hadn't he?

Remus was over him.

---

"What is that, Remus?"

Remus smiled mischievously, his quill in between his teeth. "Just a little… letter." He said. The Ravenclaw next to him picked up a small doll stuffed with cotton.

"What's this?"

Remus grinned wickedly, grabbing the doll again. "It's a voodoo doll. I snagged it from Divination."

"You believe in that voodoo rubbish?"

"Well, depends which kind of voodoo it is. I do believe that the kind that _our_ teacher teaches is pure shit, but the kinds I've been researching…"

"So who are you… voodooing?"

Remus suppressed a laugh. Some sort of weird lurch went through him. "My ex-boyfriend."

"You're ex boyfriend–?" The Ravenclaw started, and then stopped. "Aaahh. You talking about Black?"

"I prefer you call him _Sir_ – I mean. Yeah."

"What even happened with you two?" He asked curiously.

Remus shrugged. "I dunno. He got mad and misunderstood a little misunderstanding."

"Sounds complicated?"

"It's actually really simple." Remus corrected, the quill still in his mouth.

"Care to share?"

He plucked the quill away and dipped it into ink before putting it onto the paper. "Not really." He said, smiling slightly.

"So you're making him…"

"According to my voodoo book…" He said smartly. "Jealous. Unlucky. Envious. Breaking out in hideous pimples. Stupid in class."

"I see. Evil, is it not?"

Remus grinned. "If you knew the whole story you'd just call it _fair_."

---

It was past midnight when Remus had finally started writing his letter and finished his voodoo research. Smiling to himself slightly as the fire crackled on and the last Ravenclaw slumped up the stairs and clicked off of the last light.

His quill was poised behind his ear, his voodoo doll propped up on his book.

He wanted to have some fun tonight.

Remus grabbed for the voodoo doll. Smiling to himself he grabbed his red pen and looked at the book.

_First of all,_ Remus read. _Give your voodoo doll the face of what you'd like your enemy to look like within the near future._

Wickedly squinting his eyes, Remus made a face onto the voodoo doll similar to "What the hell, Remus? Why do you throw me away when I love you?" And it already made him feel better.

_To make your enemy red with embarrassment, paint his/her face halfway with a red marker._

Remus smiled to himself before vigorously painting the doll's face.

_To make your adversary green with envy, paint half of their face with a green marker_.

He picked up his other marker and painted the green over the rest of it's face.

_And lastly, write his/her name on the voodoo doll's chest. Then thread black yarn into the cotton head to make hair, and then poke pins all over doll's body. _

Picking up his needle and yarn, Remus mumbled:

"Sirius is feeling strange tonight…"

---

"So what happened last night? I don't even know if you believed me or not."

"Oh, don't worry, James," Sirius growled grumpily. "I believe you. Remus… didn't deny it." Sirius said, sighing heavily.

"Why do you sound so upset then?" James inquired.

"If you must know," Sirius said, trying to suppress his rage. "The fucking little bastard has been lying to me this entire time."

James sighed. "And so you broke up with him?" He asked, sounding rather annoyed and tired.

"Well… we didn't really make things clear. There was just a lot of yelling and screaming."

"From you, I presume?" James asked exhaustingly.

Pause.

"Maybe." Sirius admitted. James groaned.

"Gods, James, you really _don't_ need my help to wreak havoc. You and this boy have been off and on for so long because of the stupidest reasons and now that you found out that he's a werewolf you hate him or something?"

"I have no problem with him being a werewolf!" Sirius defended loudly. "I am _not_ racist of werewolves! I am racist of liars! The nasty little son of a bitch lied to me about _everything_–!"

"Only about the lycanthropy, Sirius," James corrected. "It would be hard to admit to your friends and especially a boyfriend you love and don't want to lose that you turn into a deadly beast every month."

"You would have known! So would have Peter! And Remus would have known a month ago!"

"Well, he's shy. He's obviously never told anyone before. And you have to say it was unexpectant for you to just confirm it with him." James reasoned logically.

"But he lied_–_"

"_Please_, Sirius, save your breath and just shut up for a moment," James said. "Why break up with someone you love?"

"Because he lied to me_–_" Sirius started angrily.

"Shush," James stopped him impatiently. "It's being a _werewolf_. He can't tell every other person he knows that he can't even _trust _completely that he's a beast. He would get thrown out of the school. Parents don't want a werewolf to be among their child's mists."

Sirius looked down as his own words rang in his head…

"_A RELATIONSHIP IS BUILT ON TRUST, REMUS! AND OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T TRUST ME AT ALL!"_

"_I LOVED YOU!!!" Sirius screamed._

"_Well, I still love you." Remus mumbled_.

Oh dear god, he was eating his own words. This was all his fault.

"Imagine you were a vampire, Sirius," James said softly. "And when you told the one person you loved that you were a vampire, they would run from you and expel you from Hogwarts."

Sirius looked down. "Remus wouldn't do that to me." He mumbled.

"Remus didn't know if _you_ would do that to _him_," James whispered. "And somehow," He added. "You did."

---

It was already past lunchtime when Remus finally walked over to the Gryffindor table with the note in his hands, somewhat sweaty and a little greasy from the buttered toast he had dropped onto it, and gulped when he saw Sirius.

---

It was a day where Sirius knew that if he didn't act fast, he wouldn't have to act anymore after all. So he finished his lunch in a hurry to finish his classes, when he saw Remus walking confidently over to their table and Sirius' heart flopped over. He pinched James' arm and ignored his squeal of pain as he pointed toward Remus' movements to the Gryffindor table.

"Relax, S-Pants," James muttered. "He could be going to the Slytherin table for all you know."

Sirius couldn't help gulping though, as Remus turned his way into the Gryffindor table giving Sirius a smirk.

It didn't ease his spirits.

But his walking didn't slow as he neared Sirius, and just as he was about to pass him, he threw a folded up note into his lap before looking back with a smirk and walking away.

"What's that?"

"Shut up. I'm looking." Sirius muttered, and unfolded it under the table.

"What does it say?" James pressed, and Sirius shoved him off of the bench.

"Hey!" James shouted indignantly, but he was too busy reading.

_Sirius –_

_If you've reached this letter it's because you should know that you are completely, absolutely right._

_A relationship is built on trust and you never gave me that. You never seemed to accept me for who I am, you always pushed me around into another person that I never seemed to become. But finally you _have_ given me enough confidence for me to say that we are over._

_I'm glad of your decision. I don't care if you think that me being a werewolf is vile, disgusting, vicious and deadly because I already know that myself. But you told me that too perfectly clear yesterday evening._

_I don't even think I'm gay anymore. I don't think I was ever gay. I think it would be better if I went one way and you followed another path and that I stayed with girls that are more like me. _

_I don't need you. I don't need any guy anymore, because I was never dependent on someone. I'm over it._

_Remus_

Sirius reached the end of the letter, where a small voodoo doll with black yarn hair, a confused expression, and a Gryffindor robe (and a curiously colored head) was pinned to the last bit of the paper. Sirius crumpled it up the best as he could and threw it into his pocket.

"Sirius – what does it say_–_"

"Shut up, Potter."

---

Remus was still casually strutting about the school by the time dinnertime came and his prefect duties of 'marching at the halls' came and he was alone, patrolling the halls for first and second years, or more or less anybody below him in academic years.

It was around ten at night when he felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned to see _–_

"Why, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore said gravely, a smile on his lips. "I would never think that I would have to come up to you at this hour with this concern." He shook his head, but he was still grinning.

"What did I do, sir?" Remus asked.

"Nothing you couldn't prevent, Remus." Dumbledore mumbled solemnly.

"I don't understand, Headmaster."

"Of course you don't, Remus," Dumbledore considered. "While you still are not even aware of the situation, you should know that this was completely unexpected."

"Unexpected?"

"Yes, Mr. Lupin," He continued in his gentle elderly voice. "The situation is definitely a difficult one since I'm not sure if it was because of Mr. Black's extremely loud tone, or just Mr. Snape's eavesdropping."

The eyes popped out of Remus' head. "Severus?"

"I thank you for not calling him by his last name…" Dumbledore said, chuckling. "It brings a nicer atmosphere around here, don't you agree?"

Remus nodded hastily. "What does he or Sirius have anything to do with anything?"

"Aah, well, for you, Remus, they have everything to do with everything," He said, his hands binding together. "I thought you would have immediately caught on when I stressed the point on 'Mr. Black's yelling and Mr. Snape's eavesdropping.'"

Remus jolted. "Does… does Snape know that I'm a werewolf?"

Dumbledore looked sadly into Remus' eyes. "Mr. Black and both Mr. Snape could have prevented the situation. If Mr. Black would have chosen a more soundproof area than a bathroom to discuss your lycanthropy, or if Mr. Snape would have not snooped around in your business, this might have never occurred. But it has, so I will not border on the discussion on 'if'."

Remus felt the breath being sucked out of him. "So… so he _knows_?"

"Yes, Mr. Lupin. I would have to say in this situation_–_"

"But – but – they'll get punished, won't they?"

"Punishment?" Dumbledore repeated, surprised. "I do think that that will be arranged, but it will not make the situation any better. It has happened."

"So what's going to happen?"

Sadly, Dumbledore sighed. "I am afraid that the situation is too deep for me to repair it. I have tried, but there are too many witnesses now that Mr. Snape has taken the liberty to share your personal information with his fellow Slytherin classmates."

"Sharing my lycanthropy?"

"I am afraid so," He heaved a sigh and looked forlornly into Remus' eyes. "I have no choice but to expel you, Remus."

Remus felt himself gasping and jumping, his head filling with panic. "Y-You're sending me out of the school?"

"When I can repair this, which I cannot promise that I can even do, you can return. But I have no choice to not do this. The Malfoys, the Lestranges, even the Slytherin Blacks… They all and they do not approve of your… state. They are powerful families that can argue against me in a second, Mr. Lupin."

Remus heaved a sigh.

"So… so when am I leaving?"

"Three days time, Mr. Lupin."

Remus gulped, nodded slowly and looked the old man in the eyes. "I… I thank you for your trying, Headmaster. I should… I should go now."

"Yes I suppose you should. I will get back to you soon."

Remus didn't have time to hear the last words of the Headmaster as he ran from his sight and back to the Ravenclaw common room, where he already found someone furiously pounding on the door.

"Who the hell is that?" Remus shouted out, and saw Sirius turning his way. He gulped.

"Sirius," He mumbled.

"Don't _Sirius_ me!" Sirius snapped, waving the crumpled note in his face. "What the fuck is this?" He exclaimed, holding the voodoo puppet in his face."

Remus didn't even laugh at the puppet. "Not today, Sirius."

"Why not now? You told me in fucking _note_ that you thought that you were straight, that I was untrustworthy, and that we should see other people! What the fuck is that all about?"

"Look, if you're so upset about the bloody note, give it over," Remus said, snatching the note away and ripping it into pieces. "I have places to be and certain Slytherins to talk to."

Sirius sneered. "I need to talk to you."

"I don't." Remus said, wiping a single tear from the edge of his eye before it would be visible.

Sirius grabbed Remus by the shoulders, and immediately Remus started balling. Sirius couldn't help but awkwardly hold his shoulders, and eventually drawing him close and patting his head uncomfortably.

"Er… w-what happened, Rem?"

"I… I got expelled, Sirius." He whispered in between cries.

Sirius jerked his arms away from Remus' shoulders and held them at arm's length. "_What_?" He muttered.

"I… Snape heard you… in the bathroom… told all of the Slytherins so I have to go… parents don't want werewolf in school… and you don't like werewolves anyway so it's good for you_–_"

"Remus," Sirius gasped. "I don't hate werewolves. I have nothing against them. I thought you had lied to me. I'm wrong, Remus, I shouldn't have walked away from you." Sirius said, tears falling down his face. He was worried. He was simply hoping that Remus was simply joking, just trying to mess with him, just to get some really concern and emotion out of him.

"Please, Remus," Sirius said, brushing his hair behind his ears protectively. Both of them were crying. He pressed their lips together. "Tell me that you're joking with me. That this was a bet. A dare. A prank."

Remus shook his head, letting his head fall onto Sirius' chest.

"I… I have to leave, Sirius… Dumbledore tried."

"Fuck what Dumbledore tried. I want to fight, Remus."

Remus sobbed more, shaking his head faster. "We can't, Siri, it's too late…"

"It's never too late," Sirius told him sternly, lifting his head up by his chin. "I love you and I'm not letting you leave. You're staying. It'll be… wizard court."

Remus looked up at him.

In one glance, he snaked his arms around his arms and Sirius looped his arms around Remus' waist, and they cried into each other's kiss.

_AN_: Looks like Happy Ending is winning, even though sad and happy is close behind. :D R&R. I'd like to say that most of you are all wonderful reviewers that really make me feel better, but one thing that really pisses me off is that readers complain about chapters waayyy previous of the latest chapter. I'm NOT going to change my story whatsoever, so you can save your breathes for chapters… 2 or 5 or something. Even 10 or 11. They're not gonna change, so you really don't have to start giving complaints. And also, I am NOT naming any of the Ravenclaws for the effect that Remus seems even MORE alone (haha) and so there is no need to start giving information about these minor characters. Love,

Julia :D ;O :P


	15. Seal It With A Kiss

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

"I'd like to state my case, Headmaster."

Dumbledore chuckled.

"Why, Mr. Black, we are not in court. I see that you are troubled, though, so why don't you just say that you have a problem?"

Sirius twitched.

"Take a seat, Sirius." He said serenely, and Sirius sat down.

"I have a problem, sir."

"We have already established that, Mr. Black. Get straight to the point, will you?"

"Yes, sir," Sirius said, playing with his hands. "I… I know that Remus was expelled yesterday evening."

Dumbledore sighed gravely, looking sadly at his desk. "I am aware of that, Sirius. I suppose that you are here to defend his case?"

"Well, yes, Headmaster."

"Then I am afraid that I cannot help you, Mr. Black. If it would be for me, Mr. Lupin would stay. He has not been a threat to any student for almost seven years now, and I doubt that he will in the future. But the Slytherin families are very powerful and have every right to not want a werewolf in the school."

"But he's been here for so long! Remus has never hurt a fly!"

"I know, Mr. Black. But some families refuse to see so. Many families are concerned. I have no choice but to ask Remus to leave. Perhaps in the future he can come back to finish his education."

"Can't I talk to these parents?"

"I doubt they will have the time to talk to you, Sirius, as harsh as it sounds. And your vote will not do anything more than mine." Dumbledore finished tragically.

"Can't we… go to Ministry court?"

He sighed again. "I suppose that could be arranged. But if you lose your case, Mr. Black, Remus will have to leave."

Sirius nodded. "Yes, sir." He said, and carefully lifted himself out of the chair.

"I'll notify some parents, Sirius. Meanwhile, I would gather as many people who know about Remus' problem together who believe that he is safe. Many Ravenclaws have heard of the situation and are on Remus' side. I suggest you converse with them."

Sirius nodded, drowning out the sound in his brain. His mind was swimming as he opened the door to the office, where Remus was waiting on the spiral staircase. There were tears suppressed in his eyes.

Sirius put his hand on Remus' cheek. "We're going to the Ministry, Remus. You're not leaving here without a fight."

Remus sighed. "Dumbledore couldn't do anything, could he?"

"No. But we need to get witnesses, Remus, people who believe that you are safe and okay to stay here."

"I dunno, Sirius. Wouldn't it be easier to just leave?"

"NO!" Sirius yelled forcefully, taking Remus' face into his hands completely. "I am _not_ letting those scumbag Slytherins and Snape to get away with this!" He said, and attached their lips together.

"Then what if we lose?"

Sirius swallowed. "Well… then we'll lose. And then I'll leave Hogwarts with you."

Remus laid his head on Sirius' chest.

"Er… Remus?" He asked uneasily.

"Uh-huh?"

"We… we might want to move from Dumbledore's office door."

Remus laughed, slipped his arm around Sirius' waist and traipsed down the stairs with him in suit.

"Face it, Siri," He said softly. "People believe that I'm a dangerous beast. And to them… I don't belong here. Honestly, I belong nowhere."

"Rubbish, Remus," Sirius scolded. "You belong here as much as I do." He squeezed the side of his waist and smiled at him gently.

"Do you think we'll wing this case?"

"I dunno. I'm afraid that I'm losing sense of a lot of things. This has all got so confusing. When did things get so complicated?"

"They always were, Sirius. You just never chased your complications until they turned around and started chasing you." Remus said tiredly.

"You're too philosophical."

"I'm surprised you know what that word even means."

"Excuse me? What is _that _supposed to mean?" Sirius asked defensively.

"Well, sorry. But you do have a poor vocabulary, my little Starfire." Remus said sweetly, letting his finger fall down Sirius' lips in a gentle tap.

Sirius ignored him, sighing.

"You're gonna stay here, Rem. I promise."

---

"You should clean your tie." Remus said quietly from his corner in the Ravenclaw dormitories. Sirius was sitting on Remus' bed, his robe thrown over his shoulders. Sirius looked down silently.

"Your_ tie_, Sirius." Remus stressed a little sternly.

Sirius groped for his tie on the bed and held it.

"Put it on."

Sirius didn't do anything.

Sighing, the werewolf sat down next to Sirius and let his hand drape over his shoulders. He squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"What's wrong, Siri?" He asked gently.

Sirius stayed quiet for a moment. Then he brought his thumb up to his right eye and wiped it. "I… It's just scary, that's all."

"What is?"

"This… This entire thing. The fact that my words can decide if you'll stay here or if… if you pack and leave tomorrow… it just scares me."

Remus let out a small 'oh' and pulled Sirius into a large embrace, burying his face into his neck and feeling Sirius do the same.

He could hear Sirius sobbing. His shoulder was getting wetter by every sob that Sirius let out. Remus let the tears in his eyes run too.

"I… I love you, you know." Sirius told him, his voice muffled.

"I know," Remus replied. "I love you too."

"And…" He continued. "Even if you leave… I'll _still _love you, Rem."

They both tightened their grips around each other, when they heard a knock on the dormitory door.

Jumping apart, they both turned away and wiped their eyes, Sirius grabbing his suit and heading for the bathroom to change.

"Yes, you can come in!" Remus said to the door, pretending to rustle over his trunk.

Another Ravenclaw entered the dormitory, nodding courteously to Remus.

"Hello, Remus. How are you?"

"Fine."

"What's with the suit?"

"Er… Ministry hearing," Remus said awkwardly. The Ravenclaw opened his mouth in surprise and to reply, but Remus was already stomping over to the bathroom. "SIRIUS, are you done yet? We have to go!" He yelled, pounding on the bathroom door. Sirius pounded back.

Sighing, Remus took out his wand and unlocked the door with it, slipping inside.

"Hey!" Sirius screamed indignantly, trying to cover himself up.

"Please, Sirius, it's nothing I haven't seen before," Remus said impatiently. "Get dressed!"

"Fine!" Remus waited in the bathroom with his arms crossed until Sirius finally finished. His brain was getting swimmier by every second that passed through his mind and his heart starting beating faster by every thought that popped into his head.

"I'm so nervous, Sirius." He said, his head leaning against the cold bathroom tiles and his eyes closed.

Sirius put down his brush and leaned closer to Remus, letting his hand caress his cheek. Remus' eyes fluttered open, and they locked with Sirius'.

Letting his hand snake to the nape of Remus' neck, he let their lips meet.

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist, curling his fingers around the belt loops on his pants and pulling him closer. Sirius bumped their hips together and Remus gasped.

"Not now, Siri… oohhh, please, we really have to go – aah–"

"Looks like you still wanna stay, Rem." Sirius said smugly, sliding his hands underneath Remus' shirt. Remus threw his head back and with shaking hands he let his fingers play with the waistband of Sirius' boxers.

Sirius let his head dip down and gently nip at the sensitive skin at Remus' neck, and Remus moaned.

"No, no, please, Sirius, we – ooh – the Ministry hearing–"

"Do me a favor, Remus," Sirius said, pulling away from Remus completely. "And shut up."

Remus could only nod as Sirius grabbed his face and kissed him fiercely.

They heard the doorknob to the door turning, and Remus gasped as he realized that he didn't lock the door when he came in to see Sirius.

Ripping away, Remus jerked open the door (a Ravenclaw, very flushed, was waiting dumbstruck outside of it) and slipped outside rather embarrassingly, Sirius in close pursuit.

"I can't believe we almost let someone walk in on us… that was so embarrassing." Remus whispered, grabbing Sirius' hand and dragging him to the Headmaster's office.

"Come on… you liked it too." Sirius husked, ghosting his hand around Remus' waist, who jumped at the ticklish contact.

"We're late." Remus snapped, looking at his watch.

Sirius had to race after Remus, since he was so worried about being late for the Ministry.

"It's the _Ministry_, Sirius, _Dumbledore_ too!"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

---

"I'm glad to see that you made it," Dumbledore whispered to them, rather ruefully. "I was afraid that I would have to argue this case by myself."

"Even alone you would do well, sir." Remus said, smiling, taking his seat.

Sirius sat down next to him and let his hand creep to Remus' fingers. He intertwined them.

"Excuse me?" A Ministry official asked stiffly. "The Black party is over there?"

Remus clenched his eyes shut, hoping that Sirius knew what a political 'party' in this case was. His grip on his hand tightened.

"Excuse _me_?" Sirius asked rather impolitely.

"Who's case are you defending?" The official asked boringly.

"His," Sirius said quickly, pointing a finger at Remus. "Can't you tell?" Sirius sneered, holding up their linked hands.

The official looked rather taken aback.

"_Yes_?" Sirius scoffed at the lingering official, who huffed and walked away.

"That was nice, Siri. But I don't know if it helped our case." Remus said, laying his head on Sirius' shoulder.

"If the bloody bastard starts being bias because of this little argument, I'll throw my shoe in his face."

"Seriously?"

Sirius smiled, but decided not to use his pun. "Anytime for you, Rem."

Remus connected their lips for a moment before Sirius pulled away, his brows knitted.

"I wonder who's here… there must be Black's here, if the official thought that I should join them." Sirius peered over to the section of the seats that was for Remus leaving Hogwarts…

"The Malfoys… the Averys… my, this is a tough group… the Lestranges, too! And – oh my god." Sirius said, gasping.

"What?"

"M-My parents are here too."

"_What_?"

"What the hell? Why the fuck are they here working _against _me?" Sirius shouted out, agitated.

"Just… just ignore them, Siri. Please?" Remus whispered softly.

Sirius' eyes were still on his parents, narrowed.

"Sirius, _please_?" Remus asked a little louder, tugging on his arm. Sirius tore his eyes away, the scowl still on his face.

"I didn't know… know they would be _here_." He mumbled, looking at his knees.

Remus patted his shoulder reassuringly. He looked up to see a grim man wearing a cape – the Minister – getting to the top of the courtroom.

"SILENCE." He ordered harshly, and Remus looked Sirius nervously in the eye.

"Alright… Party Number One, please stand."

More than half the courtroom stood up grimly, all of their faces set and stern. Remus gulped and felt Sirius do the same.

"Thank you. Party Number Two, do the same."

Remus felt Sirius shoot up faster than any other of the people on Remus' side.

"Thank you… now, let's begin. The case, as I see, is that Mr. Remus J. Lupin, a presumable werewolf, is expelled from Hogwarts… and he and the other members in Party Two think that he is safe, while Party One believes that he is too dangerous for a school?"

Everyone nodded slowly.

"Now who can prove that Mr. Lupin is indeed a werewolf?" He asked.

Someone in Party One raised their hand and stood up. It was a Malfoy. "Severus Snape can. He overheard the incident."

"I see. And is Mr. Snape here?"

Remus and Sirius' head snapped over to the other side of the courtroom, where Snape sat smugly in the corner. Sirius swore under his breath.

"Damned Slytherin," He muttered. "He's looking greasier than ever."

Remus suppressed a small chuckle.

"Speak, Mr. Snape."

Snape stood up. "I was walking along the corridors one night after dinner to return to the Slytherin common room, when I overheard Black screaming in one of the bathrooms–"

"_Which you shouldn't have even heard, you nosy eavesdropping bastard!_" Sirius interrupted angrily.

"Quiet!"

Snape leered at Sirius before continuing. "I heard Black say Lupin's name, and before I could leave, I heard him say that Lupin was a werewolf."

"I see." The Minister said.

"BUT HE HAS NEVER HURT ANYONE!!" Sirius exclaimed exasperatedly, standing up.

The Minister looked rather annoyingly at Sirius. "I see. Do you have something to share, Mr…?"

"Black," Sirius grumbled. "And as I was saying… I may not have known Remus for the last seven years, but I _am_ aware that Remus has never hurt anyone before… mostly because he doesn't transform in the castle, now does he?" He sneered at the Minister. Some murmuring started.

Dumbledore stood up as Sirius sat back down. "Minister," He said softly. "I would like to say that Remus Lupin was infected with lycanthropy at age six… and he has _not_ been hiding the fact from me."

"You knew about this? Y-You let a... a _werewolf _into the school?" The Minister asked faintly.

"That's not his title!" Sirius piped up frustratingly. Dumbledore ignored him. Remus shut his eyes closed. The hand intertwined with his was firm and sweaty.

"Yes. And if Mr. Snape had not overheard Mr. Black, then you would have never known about this. And, I promise you, that no student would have gotten hurt in the remaining month."

"Where would Mr. Lupin go to transform?" The Minister asked curiously.

"Every full moon, I had my highly efficient Healer Madame Pomfrey ensure that Remus made it outside." Dumbledore continued gravely.

"Excuse me," Sirius spoke up again, standing. "Wouldn't an attack on a student be heard throughout all of the school and therefore the Ministry as well? Remus has been _very_, _very_ pulled together!"

"Has he ever shown sides of aggression or other wolfish traits when it wasn't the full moon?"

"No!" Sirius said quickly, rising again. "Remus is always as cheerful as a bird. And as harmless as a fly." He said quietly, squeezing Remus' hand.

"Excuse me, Mr. Black," The Ministry official from earlier asked nosily. "But why are you defending Mr. Lupin's case?"

"Because!" He screamed indignantly. "Why should he leave when he has never done anything? It's been seven years, for Merlin's sake!"

More murmuring was coursed around the courtroom.

"…or are you only defending him because you and Mr. Lupin are in a romantic relationship?" The official revealed defensively.

There was some indignant and angry buzzing.

Sirius rose his eyebrows. "Are you calling me a pansy?" He asked in a rather high-pitched-voice.

"I'm saying," The official said in an annoying mature and patient voice. "That there may be certain proof that your information can all be incorrect. You may just be defending Mr. Lupin because he entertains you… or in an opposite way."

Sirius shot up from his seat. "SHUT UP!" He roared, and several people starting murmuring angrily. "He's not my sex toy, if that's what you mean! I love Remus! And he loves me too!" Sirius said loudly, jerking on Remus' hand so he would stand up as well.

"But you are in a personal relationship?"

"So what if we are?" Sirius sneered.

"You still could be defending him because you are…" The official cleared his throat. "… '_in love_'."

"You insulting my sexual preferences?"

"No," He said, rather frustratingly. "I'm simply saying–"

"I _know_ what you're simply saying. Now let me tell you something. When I found out that Remus was a werewolf, it scared me to death. It pains me to say this, but I was afraid that he would hurt me, or harm me, or maybe even kill me, or something like that. It's reasonable for you to think that too," Sirius looked down, where he saw that Remus was wiping his eyes. He looked up at him and mouthed:

"You thought I would kill you, Sirius?" His eyes were filled with hurt but Sirius continued.

"That's one of the reason that I ended things with him… but it's also logical for him not to want anyone to know. They'd freak out, just like I did."

"It's easy for you to put that behind you, Mr. Black," The Minister said. "You were in love with him!"

"No I wasn't!" Sirius said. "I convinced myself that Remus lied to me and that I didn't love him. The night that Remus got expelled, I was about to go to the Gryffindor common room to actually start a fight with Remus about the entire 'lying' thing, but I found him running towards me, crying, and when I found out that they had expelled him because of his lycanthropy…"

Remus looked down at his knees. Sirius could feel that he was the only one who could hear Remus silently crying. He didn't know how to comfort him.

"I didn't know if Remus wanted to be with me again, so I did nothing romantic, of course. And while I listened to the story, even though I was still mad at him, I was appalled at the fact that they were expelling him and I was on his side. Remus. Is. Harmless." He emphasized coldly, before sitting down and swiftly sweeping Remus into his arms and whispering soothing nothings into his ear.

"You're harmless, Rem… I know that, please believe me." He said concernedly. Remus buried his head into Sirius' neck as the courtroom argued on. More Slytherins started booming out their cases and their opinions.

"The fact still is that Mr. Black is only defending Mr. Lupin because he is romantically involved with him–" The Minister said loudly, but Dumbledore stood up quickly.

"Dear Minister," He whispered. "I can tell you that every word that came out of Mr. Black's mouth is true." He seemed to have settled the matter, and he sat back down again.

The Minister looked a little flustered, but continued the battle nevertheless.

Remus was sitting unemotionally in his seat again, Sirius and his hands interlinked. No trace of tears were on his face anymore.

The Minister was murmuring with some officials around him. Sirius had his fingers crossed underneath his seat.

"Alright," The Minster boomed out. "We have made our decision."

Sirius knew the Ministry's decision before they said it out loud. His eyes were closed tightly.

"We all agree… that Mr. Lupin is _not_ safe enough to stay at Hogwarts and that he should pack his bags tonight and leave tomorrow."

"NOO!!!" Sirius screamed out, and Remus hissed at him.

"Hush, Sirius." He said. He didn't look upset at all. He was impassively looking ahead at the entire courtroom, not paying attention to Sirius.

"HOW CAN YOU??" Sirius screamed out, and let out a loud wail. He ripped his hand from Remus' and he buried his face into his hands. He was crying so loudly that Remus was feeling embarrassed. There was no sound in the courtroom except for Sirius' wailing. It seemed to have gone on for ages, Sirius letting out cuss words and swear words and incoherent mumbles of unfairness and rudeness of the decision. Everybody's eyes were on Sirius, who was still crying loudly. Remus shut his eyes, waiting for it all to stop.

Dumbledore stood up behind them. "Very well," He said stonily. "We've argued about this long enough. Severus, Remus, Sirius, follow me." Remus stood up dutifully like Snape did, but Sirius didn't. Remus tugged on Sirius' arm.

"Come on, Sirius." He whispered, and with some pulling, Sirius was walking with his face in his hands and the tears still pouring out from the cracks in his fingers. Remus didn't do anything but link his elbow with his to lead him the right way.

"Back to Hogwarts." Dumbledore said, addressing all of them. Snape looked particularly smug as Sirius still cried on.

---

Sirius had disappeared the moment that they had returned to Hogwarts. Remus was trudging back to his common room, getting ready to pack.

"Did you lose?" Some Ravenclaws asked him anxiously.

Remus nodded slowly, getting up the stairs.

While he packed on, he couldn't think of anything but Sirius. How upset he had been when they had left the courtroom, not saying a word and just crying out his tears. Remus hadn't done anything… how could he have comforted him? He was leaving Hogwarts and that was that.

He closed his trunk and his bag, sighing, heaving it out the common room.

Maybe he'd visit Sirius one more time.

---

Remus dragged his luggage to the Gryffindor common room, where he knocked on the Portrait Hole.

James answered it.

"Oh. Hello, Remus."

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked shortly.

"Er… upstairs. The bathroom." James answered.

"Did he talk to you at all when he came back?"

"No. We were at dinner when you guys came back… I found the bathroom door locked and called Sirius' name… He's in there."

Worriedly pushing James away Remus pulled his luggage near the couch.

"Don't let anybody touch this." He instructed James, indicating his luggage. Remus cantered up the stairs into the dormitory, then knocking furiously on the bathroom door.

"Sirius?" Remus asked softly through the crack when the door didn't open. "It's… it's Remus."

The door almost burst open, Remus staggering back to avoid it, when he felt Sirius pull him through roughly before closing the door again and locking it.

Remus looked up in the small, crammed bathroom, to see Sirius' bloodshot eyes with tears still running down his cheeks. Remus gasped in worry but Sirius already grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a rather bone-crushing embrace, Sirius burying his head in his shoulder tearfully.

Remus suddenly felt his tears come.

"Why would you want to spend your evening in a bathroom, Sirius?"

"Because I don't want to talk to anyone… and I don't want to see anyone but you."

Remus pushed Sirius to arms length, and looked sorrowfully at him. "I'm sorry, Sirius." He said, brushing away Sirius' tears with his thumb.

"For what, Remus?"

"For leaving. I never meant to leave."

"It's my fault!" Sirius shouted out, falling against the bathroom tile, closing his eyes. "I screamed it out in a public bathroom so Snape could hear! I should be the one leaving!"

"You're not leaving Hogwarts, Siri."

"Yes I am! I _need_ to be with you, Remus!"

Remus splayed two fingers over Sirius' mouth. "Please, Sirius… you don't want to leave your friends. And besides, I know you love Hogwarts." He said gently, the tears in his eyes continuing to form.

Sirius looked at the ground while he wiped his tears, and then pulled Remus into a slightly gentler embrace.

"I love you." He murmured.

"I love you too." Remus said back.

Sirius and Remus stayed like that for a long time, until finally he pulled away to softly attach their lips in the sweetest brush of a kiss that they ever had had.

"Sorry." Sirius said softly, his breath still on Remus' mouth and their noses touching. Their eyes locked. "I just wanted to do that one more time."

Remus looked for a moment into Sirius' eyes, before forcefully wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck and head and pulling him in for a much more passionate and desperate kiss.

Sirius moaned longingly, sliding his hands down to Remus' shirt, which he gently rode upwards and letting his hands roam his chest. Remus groaned in pleasure before gently sucking on Sirius' earlobe.

"C-Can we…" Sirius muttered breathlessly. "Can we spend one more night together?" He asked hopefully, and Remus stopped for a moment.

"Definitely, Sirius." He answered, kissing him again. He reaches for the doorknob.

"What are you doing?" Sirius said sharply.

"I don't want to kiss you in _a bathroom_, Siri. It's rather unsanitary."

"You're leaving tomorrow and you care about bathroom germs?" Sirius asked incredulously. Remus shrugged.

"Come on." He egged on, and pulled Sirius onto his bed. He gently closed the curtains before lying down on the bed, and having Sirius snuggle up next to him at his side, small tears still leaving his face.

"Shhh…" Remus told him softly, brushing his tears away. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

Sirius nodded, sliding his hands around Remus' waist protectively.

"I wish you wouldn't have to leave at all." He said ruefully.

"I'll never leave _you_, Sirius. I'll always be with you." Remus gave Sirius' heart a little pat before burying his head in his shoulder.

"But not… not in the way that I could hug you or kiss you or tell you that I love you."

"But you'll know it. You'll know that I'll want to do all of those things, Siri." Remus reassured him carefully, a lump in his throat forming.

"But you won't be there…"

"Just go through the rest of the year, Sirius. Then you can come and see me."

"Why can't I leave with you?" Sirius asked angrily.

"Because I don't want you leaving James or Peter or Hogwarts. Leaving the things you love behind hurts." Remus said gently, forcing himself not to cry in front of Sirius.

"But I feel like your slipping away from me, like I'm letting you go. Like someone is stealing you and I can't rescue you." Sirius gulped, a hint of tears on the edge of his voice.

Remus cried silently, moving farther into Sirius as he entangled all of their limbs together protectively.

"Just knowing that this is the last night is tearing me apart, Rem."

Remus pulled his head out of Sirius' shoulder and lifted up his chin. "I love you, Siri. Only one more month and you can join me."

"_Thirty days!_" He said indignantly, and Remus put his hand on Sirius' mouth gently.

"Shh… It'll come faster than you think."

"Promise I'll see you soon?" Sirius asked tearfully.

"Promise."

"Then seal it with a kiss." Sirius said.

"What?"

"Then seal your promise with a kiss." He said softly, and a grin played faintly on Remus' mouth.

"Sealing…" Remus mumbled, attaching their lips tenderly, both of them carefully pulling on each other, begging the other to come closer and never let go.

_AN_: I actually wanted to post this yesterday… But I never really got around to it. It's been a wait, SORRY!!! Hotel Roosevelt will be updated soon too. I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS:D R&R!!

JULIA :D ;O :P


	16. Belong To Each Other : The Ending

_AN_: So guess what? I SUGGEST YOU READ THIS… This is the last chappie!! AHH! I'll certainly miss this story. So tell me what you think of it. :D

That morning Remus left. Sirius cried. And even though Remus left with only one embrace, one kiss, and two tears, Sirius could still feel the longingness coming from him.

He didn't watch him leave.

He ran away so he didn't have to see it.

Sirius slept on his bed that day. He cried and slept and didn't go to his classes. It was like he was almost waiting for Remus to come back and somehow rescue him but knew he wouldn't come back. He hadn't even asked where Remus was going to live now that he was expelled.

It was later than seven at night when Sirius stirred in his bed, groaning in his sleep and nightmarish dreams.

"Sirius. _Sirius_. Sirius, wake up." James said blandly, prodding Sirius in the shoulder.

"Leave me alone, James." Sirius mumbled, turning on his side.

"You've slept all day long and have just cried and mourned."

"I _said_, leave me alone." Sirius snarled, turning away farther from James.

James didn't leave. He just stood there.

"GO AWAY!" He shouted out, and James finally left softly, his footsteps being tender thumps.

Two minutes later James, Peter, and Lily came back up the stairs.

"Oh my god, would all of you just fucking leave me alone??!!" Sirius exclaimed angrily, sitting up in his bed and trying to rip closed the hangings.

Lily gently pulled them apart again and sat on the edge of Sirius' bed. Peter copied her awkwardly at the opposite side of the bed. James was even more audacious and dared to sit on Sirius' feet. Sirius tried to kick him off.

Lily smiled softly. "It's not like he's gone forever, Sirius… You'll see him soon."

"Shut up, Evans. I don't need your sappy romance talk. I'm not in a contemplating mood." He dismissed, trying to close the curtains again.

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius!" James said loudly. "He's just _another guy_. That you _will_ see again! You have to learn to be enthusiastic again, mate!"

"_Just another guy_? James, just because you beat the living shit out of Remus and then hated him doesn't mean that I don't love him." Sirius said venomously, narrowing his eyes.

"You'll see him in thirty days time," Lily repeated soothingly. "It's just a month."

"A month without Remus. That month with Remus because James told him to break up with me–" Sirius made a small scowl towards James. "–was living Hell."

"But he still loves you. He still wants to be with you."

Sirius was quiet for a moment, looking at his sheets.

"_I'll never leave you, Sirius. I'll always be with you." Remus gave Sirius' heart a little pat before burying his head in his shoulder._

"_But not… not in the way that I could hug you or kiss you or tell you that I love you."_

"_But you'll know it. You'll know that I'll want to do all of those things, Siri." Remus reassured him carefully, a lump in his throat forming._

"_But you won't be there…"_

"_Just go through the rest of the year, Sirius. Then you can come and see me."_

"_Why can't I leave with you?" Sirius asked angrily._

"_Because I don't want you leaving James or Peter or Hogwarts. Leaving the things you love behind hurts." Remus said gently, forcing himself not to cry in front of Sirius._

"_But I feel like your slipping away from me, like I'm letting you go. Like someone is stealing you and I can't rescue you." Sirius gulped, a hint of tears on the edge of his voice._

_Remus cried silently, moving farther into Sirius as he entangled all of their limbs together protectively._

Sirius pushed Peter aside, getting up from the bed and walking gently a foot away, looking downwards thoughtfully. He stopped.

"Who knows?" He asked. "How do you know that he hasn't fallen for some other guy that's better than me?"

Lily walked towards him. "Because he _loves_ you, Sirius. He can't just dump you for some other guy when he loves you.

Sirius fumbled under his bed, grabbing for his bag.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," Sirius answered shortly, shutting his trunk and locking it. He began packing things into his bag. "I can't stay here any longer."

"Sirius – it's only been thirteen hours." James addressed, some real worry in his eyes.

"I don't care."

"Sirius, are you sure you're okay?"

"Positive. Now would you stop standing there like a bunch of dopes and help me pack?" It was more of an order than a request.

All of them still sat paralyzed on the bed.

"_Sirius_… it more… more or less seems like you're _addicted_–"

"Look, if you're not gonna help, leave."

"But Sirius, this is really an impulsive and rash–" Lily started.

"YOU ALL DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?" Sirius screamed out. "I DON'T CARE ABOUT EDUCATION ANYMORE! I _LOVE_ REMUS, AND RIGHT NOW HE'S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS TO ME!" Sirius shouted out.

He took a deep breath before continuing, and then zipped closed his bag. He held up his bag and trunk and raised his eyebrows expectantly to his friends.

"Well?" He asked them. "Aren't you coming?"

Lily and James exchanged glances, and Peter looked at both of them. Lily had doubt in her face as though she simply couldn't leave Hogwarts, and how she couldn't leave her Head Girl position for such a thing, and James looked as though he couldn't leave Lily. And Peter just looked surprised.

"_Aren't you_?" Sirius pressed, waiting to hear their declines. If they weren't going to come along, then Sirius was at least going to make them feel guilty about leaving their friend behind and letting him go alone. "Or am I going alone?"

James grabbed Lily's hand. "Of course we're coming, Sirius."

Sirius grabbed wickedly. "Then get going," His hair whipped around as he turned, running down the stairs. "Give me a second."

He came back two minutes later, breathless, carrying James' broom, his own broom, and two school brooms. He tossed James his and gave Lily and Peter one too.

"You remember Quidditch lessons in First Year, right Evans?" Sirius asked Lily, and she nodded elusively.

"Good. You should." He tossed one to Peter too.

"Are… are we _flying_?"

"Yeah." Sirius said, walking over to the large windowsills and cracking a window all the way open. He mounted his broom and whipped his head around.

"Are you coming?" He asked.

James nodded, coming right behind Sirius, so Sirius jumped and flew expertly out of the window and hovering outside of it.

"Right behind you, Sirius." James said, and slipped outside of the window as well. Peter and Lily went last.

There was a warm summer breeze that just seemed to make Sirius light-headed and inspired. He asked Peter to toss him his luggage.

Tying his luggage to his broom and making it feather-light with a spell, he motioned for the others to follow him as he flew fast over the horizon of the sunset and into the darkening sky.

---

It was just this morning that Remus Lupin had moved back in with his parents, retelling the whole story in a much more elaborate way than he had done in his letter to them saying that he was moving back in.

They had had a lavish meal of pasta and chicken that night in courtesy to his mother, who was positively thrilled that Remus was back. She simply wanted to smother Remus all evening, but Remus wanted to relax on the porch and just take in the last week's events.

"But Remus, you're finally _home_ again, you should spend some time with you're family!" His mother had fussed.

"But I'll be here for a long, long time now, so they'll be plenty of family time to be done in the future." Remus had reminded them, and had finally wriggled out of his parents' grip and been able to retreat to the balcony in the setting sunset.

And it gave him quite a shock to see four blurry blots in the distance, screaming out.

He sprang up, seeing the blurs dip lower to the Earth gently. His eyes popped out of his head, as all of the blurs came down lower, something black billowing behind them, and a scratchy brow tail of some sort hanging out at the end –

Wait a moment. That wasn't a tail! Those – those were _broomsticks_ –

"SIRIUS!" He screamed, jumping up from the patio and running down onto the cobblestone sidewalk, waving his arms wildly. And he didn't even have to strain his ears to here a voice screaming back:

"REMUS!! REMUS, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?"

"SIRIUS!" Remus yelled again, hopping up and down with his lungs exploding from his loud yelling. "DOWN HERE!"

He doubted that they Sirius would know where 'down here' was, but he kept on jumping and waving in the warm summer breeze, screaming out in disbelevingness and happiness all coursing through him.

The blurs were coming closer and closer, until finally Remus could see Sirius, James, Peter, and Lily all beaming down upon him. _They had left. They had left Hogwarts for him. For him and Sirius_.

All too soon Remus was no longer waving and jumping up and down at the sunset, but Sirius had landed his broom with a loud laugh and had wrapped his arms around Remus' waist, pulling him into a tight embrace and smiling into his shoulder.

Remus was crying out of happiness.

"What's wrong, Rem?"

"Nothings wrong, Sirius. I never thought that you would come here for me." Sirius chuckled, brushing his lips to Remus' for just a fleeting smiling moment.

"I didn't come for you, Rem, I came for _us_." He said, and Remus innocently wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck, his smile so broad he was sure that his lips would rip and Sirius had been smiling for so long his mouth was aching. But they both didn't stop grinning.

They kissed.

Remus almost felt as though there should be clapping.

And definitely music.

Remus broke away from Sirius, slipping his arm around his waist and feeing Sirius doing the same. He smiled at Lily, James, and Peter, and they all beamed back. Suddenly Lily broke and ran forward and hugged both of them, laughing and smiling and tearing slightly.

"Oh, this is like a reunion love story…" Lily said, sighing dreamily. She let go of their hands and went back over to James, letting her head fall on his shoulder. Remus beamed back at them.

"They really do look perfect." Peter commented, standing alone but still smiling in the corner with his hands behind his back.

Remus snaked his hands back over to Sirius, who sighed contentedly and nuzzled his neck.

"Come on, guys. Unless you want to go back to Hogwarts, I say I'll get you settled up in the guest room. James, Lily, Peter, you can leave in the morning, I guess." Remus said to them, smiling, and looked over at Sirius.

"So will you go back tomorrow?" Remus asked him with a tap on his nose.

"Are you kidding? I don't belong there." Sirius told him as they entered the house.

"You belong here." Remus finished for him, as everybody followed Remus upstairs and into the Guest Room.

All of them helped spruce up the Guest Room for Lily and James and Peter, and it was past ten when they were all done with their renovations. They all had a snack before going to bed.

That night, Sirius and Remus slept in Remus' bed in his bedroom. Even though the light was off and the room was bleary, Sirius seemed to bring so much light and color into the room.

Remus snuggled up closer to Sirius, digging his face in his chest as Sirius stroked his hair gently.

They whispered to each other rather nonsense-full sayings that made both of them smile into each other's skin until they both were back to kissing and 'I love you' back and forth until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

Because they belonged together, and not alone.

_AN_: HAPPY FIRST LONG STORY ENDING TO BTN! (BTN is what I use for Belong To Nowhere, by the way) This is the first big, big story I actually finished! If you read the beginning of the chapter Author's Note, you'll know that this story is DONE and that I will indeed miss it… Hopefully some of you liked the ending and liked the story in general. :D Tell me if you do, and if there should be a sequel... and if yes, what should the sequel be about??  
Until the next story...  
Love,  
JULIA :D ;O :P


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